aaaaahhh asked: Oh please don't stop writing about 2PM, your stories are the best :D
Many a times, I had to remind myself that it's just fan-fiction,
how I wished they were real :/

Awwww gurl, thank you!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 43 - Where I End & We Begin “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to her and her alone, for as long as you both shall live?”  “I do.” “And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to him and to him alone, for as long as you both shall live?” “I do.” The priest smiled. He signaled the first guy standing behind the groom to give the ring. Park Jaebum, looking sharp with his tux and pink satin handkerchief in his suit pocket, moved forward while handing out two simple rings. Jay tapped the familiar shoulder as a form of encouragement while whispering “You son of a bitch.” before stepping down the small stairs after receiving a judgmental look from the priest who obviously heard him. Wooyoung chuckled and nodded in agreement. He quickly went back to staring at a beautiful woman standing before him, a small veil hid her face but her familiar short jet black hair reminded him that she is soon to be his. He repeated what the priest asked him to say and watched while she did her part. They exchanged rings, Aileen had quite a pause when the ring got stuck on Wooyoung’s finger. They laughed it off, the first laugh he heard coming from her. He knew she was nervous, the cracks and trembles in her voice while uttering her pledge told him so. He was dying to see her today since he was not supposed to until right now, in their beautiful ceremony behind the big house of Lanikai, a place they went and stayed before. When Wooyoung asked her 2 months ago why she chose this place, she said “This was where it started. I want it to be where it ends.” He then joked by asking what she meant by “end” because it sounded like she was going to assassinate him. He then continued “This is not the end for us, this is a whole new beginning.” in a more serious tone, which she smiled at and agreed on. All he wanted to do was to uncover her face so when the priest finally said “You may kiss the bride.” he rushed in and lifted the white tulle to find his smiling bride. He was taken back just like the first time he laid his eyes on her, peeking from outside the door of their practice room back in Korea. His wife is gorgeous. As he looked deep inside her eyes, he saw their journey. A speck of her pain, fear of love and happiness. He still saw a little bit of it and for that he grabbed her hand, he smiled before saying “Don’t worry, I am here now.” Ai saw his eyes glistened, she nervously laughed and asked him “Why are you crying?” while ignoring their friends who were screaming impatiently for them to kiss. “Happy.” he said, she moved closer to him and tip toed before kissing the happy man who also makes her happy. The man who stayed there for her, the man who she saw for the first time when her vision returned. The man who she feels safe with. Crowds below them cheered and threw rice and confetti while they walked down to greet everybody. Their garden party looks simple and gorgeous, white linens and colorful flowers pleased everyone’s eyes, foods and drinks were amazing, the conversations were flowing. All 2PM were there, looking sharp in their monkey suits. Aileen almost couldn’t recognize some of them, they have grown so much over time.  “Congratulation, sister in law.” Junho hugged her tightly, the rest followed him and hugged her one by one. Wooyoung who just came back with a drink rushed in, “Hey hey hey what is this? She is a married woman for 5 minutes and you guys are already all over her, huh? Go away.” “Hyung, don’t be too jealous. We’re just welcoming her to the family.” Chansung gallantly smirked to Aileen who let out a small chuckle. “And by welcoming her I meant telling her all your bad habits.” he continued while sipping his white wine. “Arghhh…why are you even here? Where is your son?” Wooyoung looked around, trying to find the small guy who has been stealing everyone’s heart. Several months ago Chansung came back to Korea and announced that he’s had a son but the identity was kept a secret. He also announced that he would take a break from the music business and went to America to study acting. He basically brought chaos to Kpop industry. His hyungs knew the major reason why Chansung left was because of Greg. He didn’t want to be distant from that kid and such sacrifice needed to be made. If he could have things his way, he would have chosen both his career and normal life; but as luck would have it, the reality wasn’t as cooperative as he wished. 2PM decided to take things slow, the members continued with their solo activities and still managed to take over Korea with their endorsement, CFs, movies and dramas. If anything, 2PM did change how they were viewed as idols. Ever since Jaebum appeared on Tv and said that he was going to date Bekah, many idols found their guts to do the same thing. No one was as brave as him tho, they didn’t actually ask the girl out on live television but they were indeed much more open about dating than they ever could. The fans seemed to be more forgiving too, hate mails and threats were still around because crazy people would stay crazy but at least the rest realized that idols have lives too. “Hmm…yeah, I don’t know where he is, I’ll go fetch him.” Chansung put his hand in his pocket and left the group. Taecyeon, Khun, Junsu and Junho stayed and continued chatting with the newly wed while Jaebum spotted someone and excused himself. “Hey sexy, where have you been? I’ve missed you.” he shamelessly pulled Bekah in and kissed her. “I miss you too. Where is the food? Oh my god I’m starving.” she ignored him and looked around. “Wait, you weren’t here for the ceremony?” he stopped her. “What are you talking about, of course I was.  I saw you suavely did your important job, mister ring bearer.” she teased him. “I’m no Frodo.” “Of course you’re not. You’re a foot taller.” “Whatever I’m still taller than you, Rebekah Kim.” he made sure no one nearby was looking and secretively squeezed her butt, he had been having a hard time resisting to do so when he saw her this morning with her body-tight peach colored dress, showing her full figure. He couldn’t do anything because he had to do a last minute rehearsal with Wooyoung and the priest so he ended up groaning every time he saw her walking around. “Why are you two always so disgusting? Get a room.” Chansung passed by while still in his son-hunting mission. Bekah blushed and scolded Jay with her eyes. Jay on the other hand was already immune with those kind of comments from his dongsaeng, at one point he just told himself that they were just jealous. It worked for him, apparently. “Oh by the way, Jay…my parents are here.” she lightly told him while transferring some food from the buffet to her plate. “What, babe?” he thought he heard her wrong. “Parents. Here.” “WHAT THE-? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?” he shrieked with his eyeballs almost popped out of the sockets. “Relax, they’re cool.” “But still, oh fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that wine. Does my breath smell? Do I look messy?” he panicked and started checking his wrinkle-free suit. “You look fine, Jay. As I said, they’re nice people.” “But-but…why are they here?” Jay followed Bekah around like a stray dog while she was at the drink booth ordering a Lava Flow. “What do you mean why, Wooyoung invited them. Besides, they live here. That’s my house.” she pointed at one house in sight on the curve of the beach. He had no idea this was her neighborhood. “You never told me.” “I did. I always told you I miss Lanikai. THIS is Lanikai.” she glanced at him like he was crazy person. “Oh, I…missed the connection, yes. But, you’re sure I look ok, right?” Jay was genuinely nervous. He, for one, always have an adult-phobia and in this case it’s even worse because it’s Bekah’s parents. He knew at one point he would meet them because he really likes Bekah and he doesn’t want to be one of those pathetic boyfriends who play hide and seek with the future in-laws. It’s just he would appreciate an approximate 6 weeks in advance for him to prepare his speech and mentality so he doesn’t appear too lame in front of them. Bekah thought he was over-thinking it because as she said “I like you the way you are. Why wouldn’t they?” “Just…be yourself. Oh, and don’t do anything sexual in front of them, Jay. I don’t think they’re ready for that.” she munched her salmon and looked at him. “Why? It’s not my fault that their oldest daughter has a one hot piece of aaaaa—— HELLOWW THERE SIR, MRS. KIM.” he abruptly ended his inappropriate comment and greeted Bekah’s parents as they were coming towards their table. Bekah almost chocked on her rice, thinking how tragic it would be if they over heard what Jay was trying to say. She likes him a lot, even with his incongruous behavior and obscene remarks, she finds him very charming and hilarious. The reason why she was positive her parents would love him too. And she was right, Jay were polite but still natural, he kept glancing at her from across the table when her mom was telling him about how Bekah was as a child. His eyes widened when her mom told a story when Bekah fell from the roof from trying to save her neighbor who somehow ended up there and couldn’t come down on his own. “He fell in love with her ever since, he told everyone she was his girlfriend up until 7th grade. But she broke his heart, saying that she couldn’t even remember saving him and falling down.” her mom chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like Bekah.” Jay glanced at her again, his eyes seemed so different, like he was proud of her. It was a weird moment for Bekah because she had seen his eyes so many times and she had seen playful, naughty, angry, sad, happy. But this one is new. She has yet to figure out what that means and what has caused that. She was playing with her food when she heard Jay telling her dad “You have a wonderful daughter, Sir.” and her chest was suddenly full and warm. She always imagined how it would look like if Jay met her parents. She would imagine the scene, the conversation. But the only thing she failed to cover, is how she would actually feel. It felt so surreal, she was not prepared for this. So before Jay or any of her parents saw, she wiped the tears in the corner of her eyes and joined the conversation. ************************************************************************************************* Nanzy silently walked next to the shoreline while carrying her heels, the sand tickled her toes and the small waves splashed, brushing against her legs with cold water. She was pensive, half admiring the gorgeous view of the beach with the turquoise ocean and the bright blue sky. Last several months had been interesting for her, so many changes and adjustments had to be done, Greg grew faster than any other babies she had seen. And of course, Chansung. He was always in her mind, in both good and bad way. She sometimes blamed him when things got rough and he would blamed her. They fought a lot, over the most ridiculous thing like the color of baby stroller. “I would go with baby blue.” she said. “I would go with green so if we have a daughter she can use it too.” he replied. “Who says I want to have another child with you?” “Me. You have no say in this matter.” “How dare you, I’m the one carrying them. You’re just like…..the seed planter. I’m the garden.” she ran out of idea. “Ok, garden, while you’re being green and colorful why don’t we pick this green stroller so it can match you.” It always ended like that, Chansung always won every argument. Partly because she knew he was right. Behind her grunting and hair-pulling moments, Nanzy could never thank him enough for being there for her. A helping hand did make a lot of difference in her life. She learned it over time. “MOOOOOOOMMYYY!!!” a chirpy voice came nearer and she knew it was Greg’s. Before she turned around she already felt two small hands hugging her legs and a small head with thick black hair resting on her thighs. “Hello young man, how did you get here?” Nanzy lifted him up so his brand new formal baby suit that Taecyeon gave him as a birthday present didn’t get wet. She turned around and expected to see Dylan, who snatched Greg a while ago and promised to babysit him for a little bit. But she wasn’t there, instead it was Chansung. He stood on the beach, already took off his suit, leaving him with a white dress shirt with sleeves rolled up. He always managed to take her breath away no matter how many times she had seen him. “Hi. We were looking for you.” he took off his shoes and socks before walking closer. “Oh, I was just….” Nanzy tried to explain what she was doing but she forgot why. “Musing on life?” Chansung lifted Greg from her and held him. “Something like that.” “You’re always thinking. Aren’t you tired?” he asked while brushing off some dry sands who got caught in her hair. “Hehe, not yet. Maybe someday when I’m old, when my brain shuts down.” “I will still be young by then.” Chansung soullessly commented, ignoring a death glare from her. “Anyway, I think Greg inherits all my traits so you don’t have to worry.” “That would be my only reason to be worried.” she smacked him. “No, I’m serious. This kid has a good taste.” “What do you mean?” Nanzy looked over her kid who was already protesting at Chansung that he shouldn’t have been off the ground while there were exciting waves and sand below his feet. “When we came here I told him to pick and run to the prettiest girl he can see. He ran to you.” Chansung looked proud. “You silly, of course he ran to me. I am his mother.” she shook her head. “No, look, there were many pretty girls here.” Chansung pointed at some random people sitting around the beach, some of them called Greg to play with their sandcastle. “But I’d choose you too if I were him.” Chansung smiled while watching Greg smelling a starfish that he found after digging through the sand with his little hand. Nanzy was still shaking her head, Chansung could be hilariously innocent and goofy. She sometimes think Greg finds a genuine friendship with Chansung as if they were the same age. “Hey Greg, who’s pretty?” Chansung yelled. “Mommy.” his small head didn’t even look at her when he answered. She suspected Chansung taught him to say that. But she didn’t want to argue, today she wanted to be civil and just enjoy the surroundings. Aileen just got married and she was so happy to know that her best friend has finally overcome her fear. It is time for me to overcome mine, she told herself. “Chansung.” “Hmm?” he was busy watching Greg and making sure his son wasn’t going to be swept away to the Pacific Ocean. “I want to be with you.” she carefully chose her words. “What are you talking about? You are with me.” “I mean…in the future, if you want to be a part of us, it’s okay too. I realized I need you and Greg needs you. I am stubborn, moody and get frustrated easily. But I bet you already knew that. I am sorry if I told you no when you came back that day. I am sorry for not willing to give you a chance in the first place.” “Yeah you were so heartless, I had to go back to Seoul, announce my withdrawal and come back to prove to you that I was being serious. I had to fight my way to you, just because you thought I would hurt you again.” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Chansung had developed that habit and does it whenever he gets frustrated and dumbfounded. Nanzy silenced. Many nights they fought over this, she didn’t even let Chansung to sleep in the same bed with her. She was that scared. In the end it backfired because she was suffering too. Seeing him every morning walking around in the corridor with nothing but a towel on was not easy for her pathetic lonely body. Her hormones were going insane whenever Chansung accidentally touched her while trying to move Greg from her arms to his, or whenever he carelessly left the door opened while showering. She cursed him, she swore he was intentionally teasing her. “This is silly, why do I have to sleep on the couch when your bed is as big as soccer field?” he complained one morning over a bowl of cereal. Nanzy didn’t want to tell him that the reason why was because she was scared that she would lose control, knowing how attracted she is to him physically. She knew, once they start having sex again every line would be blur, and she couldn’t let that happen again. So she answered “Because I don’t trust us.” Chansung seemed to agree, so they had never slept together until today. Chansung knew Nanzy had been lost in her mind again so he shook her body, “Hey you. Stop thinking too much. I don’t know why are you saying this right now. For me, we’re already together. You really need to stop worrying about what we are and where we are. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy and see how things go. That’s what I’m doing right now. But thank you for your assurance, it is nice to hear.” he smiled at her. She nodded and smiled back. “Now shall we dance?” he popped out his question, just like that night he asked her out of the blue, the last time they came to Hawaii. “Here? But there’s no music.” she felt like reenacting what happened then, while hiding her smile. “I’ll sing.” he obviously got her point and played along. Nanzy walked closer to him and clasped her palm to his. They moved in unison as Chansung was humming the ‘Canon in D’, just like he did back then. He made her twirl, ignoring other people who must have thought they were such a weird couple, dancing barefoot with no music.  “Hey Chan…” “Hmmm?” “You suck at singing.” “There goes my career.” he didn’t seem to care. Nanzy giggled in his arm “But you’re a fantastic dancer.” “Oh thank you. I’m also a passionate lover if you let me prove it to you.” he joked. Nanzy pinched him but still laughing, because of course, they both knew how much of a fact that is. “I want to be with you too.” he then looked at her in a serious manner, he even stopped his steps. “These last couple of months have been so hard for me and I am not talking about Greg. I’m talking about us, not being able to hug you and kiss you when you’re only a door away. I had to restrain myself and shower with cold water every morning just to keep my needs in place and my sanity checked. I was not doing all those for nothing. I wanted to prove to you that I could. I would do anything you wanted, to be with you guys in the long run. So thank you, for welcoming me back in your life, Nanzy. I just hope Greg would be tired enough to sleep early today because tonight I plan to make you pay for those torturing lonely nights you’ve put me through.” His voice was so calm but Nanzy heard his urge and a hint of threat that made her quiver inside. She wanted him too, and she wasn’t sure if Chansung knew that. Nanzy could only look at him and imagine their lives ahead of them. She knew that this is place where she belongs. This is where she was supposed to be. With him. Safe and comforted. “I love you.” she said it firmly. She wasn’t scared anymore. This time, she knew his reply would be true. She knew, what they had was worth fighting for and from this moment on, they are going be ok. “I love you too.” he closed the gap between them and kissed her long enough to make Greg felt ignored. Chansung parted and looked down at his mini-me while Nanzy still had her eyes closed, recovering from the feel of an amazing kiss she had forgotten. “Nan….” “Hmm?” she slowly opened her eyes. “Do you think Taecyeon hyung wouldn’t mind paying for the laundry too?” Chansung asked with a serious tone. First Nanzy didn’t understand what he meant but Chansung signaled her to see Greg who was looking back at her with his big eyes and his clothes drenched in ocean water. “Oh my god…” she felt so bad, but Chansung laughed and said that Taecyeon has to earn the ‘Greg’s Favorite Uncle” title he always claim and this could be the perfect time for him to do so. Luckily Nanzy never forget to bring extra clothes knowing her son’s behavior, so as the dusk had fallen and the sky had transformed to a beautiful mango color, three of them started walking towards the party before everyone started turning upside down. This time, they were hand in hand. ~Fin~ ************************************************************************************************* Note: Hey readers, first off all I would like to say BIG THANKS for those of you who are following my story. It was such an overwhelming feeling whenever I saw a new follower, it was like “Holy crap, another human being likes my crappy writing?” :P But jokes aside, thanks so much for staying til the end /dramaqueen. Lost in 2PM was started back in early 2010 and as you guys know this is my first fic so I wasn’t really putting too much into it and wasn’t sure where I was going. My friend who made me write this was all “Why don’t you start a fic about 2PM?” and I was like “LMAO dude, I would never have the patience long enough to finish it.” but look where I am now, after a tiring 9 months, 43 chapters and countless cups of coffee, I am still writing. Unfortunately this has come to an end (JFC 43 chapters, why are you guys still here, srsly? /sobs) and today I decided that this would be the time. Unless you want me to write about how Nanzy and Chansung grow old together, wipe each other’s ass and die together while hugging in bed. But that doesn’t sound so appealing now, does it? Anyway, hope you’ve had fun so far and I’m sorry for both intentional and unintentional errors I’ve made here. I know my grammar isn’t perfect at all but C’MON THIS IS MY FIRST FIC YOU GUISE GIMME A BREAK HERE!!!!!!! (loljk, I acknowledge my mistakes and am always learning. Cross my heart.) So truthfully , thank you for being such super awesome readers, the visible ones or even the phantom ones. Good bye for now & hope to see you all in the future fic* *only if I ever write another one again but most likely yes because this is full of fun and glory keke CHAPTER 43 - Where I End & We Begin “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to her and her alone, for as long as you both shall live?”  “I do.” “And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to him and to him alone, for as long as you both shall live?” “I do.” The priest smiled. He signaled the first guy standing behind the groom to give the ring. Park Jaebum, looking sharp with his tux and pink satin handkerchief in his suit pocket, moved forward while handing out two simple rings. Jay tapped the familiar shoulder as a form of encouragement while whispering “You son of a bitch.” before stepping down the small stairs after receiving a judgmental look from the priest who obviously heard him. Wooyoung chuckled and nodded in agreement. He quickly went back to staring at a beautiful woman standing before him, a small veil hid her face but her familiar short jet black hair reminded him that she is soon to be his. He repeated what the priest asked him to say and watched while she did her part. They exchanged rings, Aileen had quite a pause when the ring got stuck on Wooyoung’s finger. They laughed it off, the first laugh he heard coming from her. He knew she was nervous, the cracks and trembles in her voice while uttering her pledge told him so. He was dying to see her today since he was not supposed to until right now, in their beautiful ceremony behind the big house of Lanikai, a place they went and stayed before. When Wooyoung asked her 2 months ago why she chose this place, she said “This was where it started. I want it to be where it ends.” He then joked by asking what she meant by “end” because it sounded like she was going to assassinate him. He then continued “This is not the end for us, this is a whole new beginning.” in a more serious tone, which she smiled at and agreed on. All he wanted to do was to uncover her face so when the priest finally said “You may kiss the bride.” he rushed in and lifted the white tulle to find his smiling bride. He was taken back just like the first time he laid his eyes on her, peeking from outside the door of their practice room back in Korea. His wife is gorgeous. As he looked deep inside her eyes, he saw their journey. A speck of her pain, fear of love and happiness. He still saw a little bit of it and for that he grabbed her hand, he smiled before saying “Don’t worry, I am here now.” Ai saw his eyes glistened, she nervously laughed and asked him “Why are you crying?” while ignoring their friends who were screaming impatiently for them to kiss. “Happy.” he said, she moved closer to him and tip toed before kissing the happy man who also makes her happy. The man who stayed there for her, the man who she saw for the first time when her vision returned. The man who she feels safe with. Crowds below them cheered and threw rice and confetti while they walked down to greet everybody. Their garden party looks simple and gorgeous, white linens and colorful flowers pleased everyone’s eyes, foods and drinks were amazing, the conversations were flowing. All 2PM were there, looking sharp in their monkey suits. Aileen almost couldn’t recognize some of them, they have grown so much over time.  “Congratulation, sister in law.” Junho hugged her tightly, the rest followed him and hugged her one by one. Wooyoung who just came back with a drink rushed in, “Hey hey hey what is this? She is a married woman for 5 minutes and you guys are already all over her, huh? Go away.” “Hyung, don’t be too jealous. We’re just welcoming her to the family.” Chansung gallantly smirked to Aileen who let out a small chuckle. “And by welcoming her I meant telling her all your bad habits.” he continued while sipping his white wine. “Arghhh…why are you even here? Where is your son?” Wooyoung looked around, trying to find the small guy who has been stealing everyone’s heart. Several months ago Chansung came back to Korea and announced that he’s had a son but the identity was kept a secret. He also announced that he would take a break from the music business and went to America to study acting. He basically brought chaos to Kpop industry. His hyungs knew the major reason why Chansung left was because of Greg. He didn’t want to be distant from that kid and such sacrifice needed to be made. If he could have things his way, he would have chosen both his career and normal life; but as luck would have it, the reality wasn’t as cooperative as he wished. 2PM decided to take things slow, the members continued with their solo activities and still managed to take over Korea with their endorsement, CFs, movies and dramas. If anything, 2PM did change how they were viewed as idols. Ever since Jaebum appeared on Tv and said that he was going to date Bekah, many idols found their guts to do the same thing. No one was as brave as him tho, they didn’t actually ask the girl out on live television but they were indeed much more open about dating than they ever could. The fans seemed to be more forgiving too, hate mails and threats were still around because crazy people would stay crazy but at least the rest realized that idols have lives too. “Hmm…yeah, I don’t know where he is, I’ll go fetch him.” Chansung put his hand in his pocket and left the group. Taecyeon, Khun, Junsu and Junho stayed and continued chatting with the newly wed while Jaebum spotted someone and excused himself. “Hey sexy, where have you been? I’ve missed you.” he shamelessly pulled Bekah in and kissed her. “I miss you too. Where is the food? Oh my god I’m starving.” she ignored him and looked around. “Wait, you weren’t here for the ceremony?” he stopped her. “What are you talking about, of course I was.  I saw you suavely did your important job, mister ring bearer.” she teased him. “I’m no Frodo.” “Of course you’re not. You’re a foot taller.” “Whatever I’m still taller than you, Rebekah Kim.” he made sure no one nearby was looking and secretively squeezed her butt, he had been having a hard time resisting to do so when he saw her this morning with her body-tight peach colored dress, showing her full figure. He couldn’t do anything because he had to do a last minute rehearsal with Wooyoung and the priest so he ended up groaning every time he saw her walking around. “Why are you two always so disgusting? Get a room.” Chansung passed by while still in his son-hunting mission. Bekah blushed and scolded Jay with her eyes. Jay on the other hand was already immune with those kind of comments from his dongsaeng, at one point he just told himself that they were just jealous. It worked for him, apparently. “Oh by the way, Jay…my parents are here.” she lightly told him while transferring some food from the buffet to her plate. “What, babe?” he thought he heard her wrong. “Parents. Here.” “WHAT THE-? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?” he shrieked with his eyeballs almost popped out of the sockets. “Relax, they’re cool.” “But still, oh fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that wine. Does my breath smell? Do I look messy?” he panicked and started checking his wrinkle-free suit. “You look fine, Jay. As I said, they’re nice people.” “But-but…why are they here?” Jay followed Bekah around like a stray dog while she was at the drink booth ordering a Lava Flow. “What do you mean why, Wooyoung invited them. Besides, they live here. That’s my house.” she pointed at one house in sight on the curve of the beach. He had no idea this was her neighborhood. “You never told me.” “I did. I always told you I miss Lanikai. THIS is Lanikai.” she glanced at him like he was crazy person. “Oh, I…missed the connection, yes. But, you’re sure I look ok, right?” Jay was genuinely nervous. He, for one, always have an adult-phobia and in this case it’s even worse because it’s Bekah’s parents. He knew at one point he would meet them because he really likes Bekah and he doesn’t want to be one of those pathetic boyfriends who play hide and seek with the future in-laws. It’s just he would appreciate an approximate 6 weeks in advance for him to prepare his speech and mentality so he doesn’t appear too lame in front of them. Bekah thought he was over-thinking it because as she said “I like you the way you are. Why wouldn’t they?” “Just…be yourself. Oh, and don’t do anything sexual in front of them, Jay. I don’t think they’re ready for that.” she munched her salmon and looked at him. “Why? It’s not my fault that their oldest daughter has a one hot piece of aaaaa—— HELLOWW THERE SIR, MRS. KIM.” he abruptly ended his inappropriate comment and greeted Bekah’s parents as they were coming towards their table. Bekah almost chocked on her rice, thinking how tragic it would be if they over heard what Jay was trying to say. She likes him a lot, even with his incongruous behavior and obscene remarks, she finds him very charming and hilarious. The reason why she was positive her parents would love him too. And she was right, Jay were polite but still natural, he kept glancing at her from across the table when her mom was telling him about how Bekah was as a child. His eyes widened when her mom told a story when Bekah fell from the roof from trying to save her neighbor who somehow ended up there and couldn’t come down on his own. “He fell in love with her ever since, he told everyone she was his girlfriend up until 7th grade. But she broke his heart, saying that she couldn’t even remember saving him and falling down.” her mom chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like Bekah.” Jay glanced at her again, his eyes seemed so different, like he was proud of her. It was a weird moment for Bekah because she had seen his eyes so many times and she had seen playful, naughty, angry, sad, happy. But this one is new. She has yet to figure out what that means and what has caused that. She was playing with her food when she heard Jay telling her dad “You have a wonderful daughter, Sir.” and her chest was suddenly full and warm. She always imagined how it would look like if Jay met her parents. She would imagine the scene, the conversation. But the only thing she failed to cover, is how she would actually feel. It felt so surreal, she was not prepared for this. So before Jay or any of her parents saw, she wiped the tears in the corner of her eyes and joined the conversation. ************************************************************************************************* Nanzy silently walked next to the shoreline while carrying her heels, the sand tickled her toes and the small waves splashed, brushing against her legs with cold water. She was pensive, half admiring the gorgeous view of the beach with the turquoise ocean and the bright blue sky. Last several months had been interesting for her, so many changes and adjustments had to be done, Greg grew faster than any other babies she had seen. And of course, Chansung. He was always in her mind, in both good and bad way. She sometimes blamed him when things got rough and he would blamed her. They fought a lot, over the most ridiculous thing like the color of baby stroller. “I would go with baby blue.” she said. “I would go with green so if we have a daughter she can use it too.” he replied. “Who says I want to have another child with you?” “Me. You have no say in this matter.” “How dare you, I’m the one carrying them. You’re just like…..the seed planter. I’m the garden.” she ran out of idea. “Ok, garden, while you’re being green and colorful why don’t we pick this green stroller so it can match you.” It always ended like that, Chansung always won every argument. Partly because she knew he was right. Behind her grunting and hair-pulling moments, Nanzy could never thank him enough for being there for her. A helping hand did make a lot of difference in her life. She learned it over time. “MOOOOOOOMMYYY!!!” a chirpy voice came nearer and she knew it was Greg’s. Before she turned around she already felt two small hands hugging her legs and a small head with thick black hair resting on her thighs. “Hello young man, how did you get here?” Nanzy lifted him up so his brand new formal baby suit that Taecyeon gave him as a birthday present didn’t get wet. She turned around and expected to see Dylan, who snatched Greg a while ago and promised to babysit him for a little bit. But she wasn’t there, instead it was Chansung. He stood on the beach, already took off his suit, leaving him with a white dress shirt with sleeves rolled up. He always managed to take her breath away no matter how many times she had seen him. “Hi. We were looking for you.” he took off his shoes and socks before walking closer. “Oh, I was just….” Nanzy tried to explain what she was doing but she forgot why. “Musing on life?” Chansung lifted Greg from her and held him. “Something like that.” “You’re always thinking. Aren’t you tired?” he asked while brushing off some dry sands who got caught in her hair. “Hehe, not yet. Maybe someday when I’m old, when my brain shuts down.” “I will still be young by then.” Chansung soullessly commented, ignoring a death glare from her. “Anyway, I think Greg inherits all my traits so you don’t have to worry.” “That would be my only reason to be worried.” she smacked him. “No, I’m serious. This kid has a good taste.” “What do you mean?” Nanzy looked over her kid who was already protesting at Chansung that he shouldn’t have been off the ground while there were exciting waves and sand below his feet. “When we came here I told him to pick and run to the prettiest girl he can see. He ran to you.” Chansung looked proud. “You silly, of course he ran to me. I am his mother.” she shook her head. “No, look, there were many pretty girls here.” Chansung pointed at some random people sitting around the beach, some of them called Greg to play with their sandcastle. “But I’d choose you too if I were him.” Chansung smiled while watching Greg smelling a starfish that he found after digging through the sand with his little hand. Nanzy was still shaking her head, Chansung could be hilariously innocent and goofy. She sometimes think Greg finds a genuine friendship with Chansung as if they were the same age. “Hey Greg, who’s pretty?” Chansung yelled. “Mommy.” his small head didn’t even look at her when he answered. She suspected Chansung taught him to say that. But she didn’t want to argue, today she wanted to be civil and just enjoy the surroundings. Aileen just got married and she was so happy to know that her best friend has finally overcome her fear. It is time for me to overcome mine, she told herself. “Chansung.” “Hmm?” he was busy watching Greg and making sure his son wasn’t going to be swept away to the Pacific Ocean. “I want to be with you.” she carefully chose her words. “What are you talking about? You are with me.” “I mean…in the future, if you want to be a part of us, it’s okay too. I realized I need you and Greg needs you. I am stubborn, moody and get frustrated easily. But I bet you already knew that. I am sorry if I told you no when you came back that day. I am sorry for not willing to give you a chance in the first place.” “Yeah you were so heartless, I had to go back to Seoul, announce my withdrawal and come back to prove to you that I was being serious. I had to fight my way to you, just because you thought I would hurt you again.” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Chansung had developed that habit and does it whenever he gets frustrated and dumbfounded. Nanzy silenced. Many nights they fought over this, she didn’t even let Chansung to sleep in the same bed with her. She was that scared. In the end it backfired because she was suffering too. Seeing him every morning walking around in the corridor with nothing but a towel on was not easy for her pathetic lonely body. Her hormones were going insane whenever Chansung accidentally touched her while trying to move Greg from her arms to his, or whenever he carelessly left the door opened while showering. She cursed him, she swore he was intentionally teasing her. “This is silly, why do I have to sleep on the couch when your bed is as big as soccer field?” he complained one morning over a bowl of cereal. Nanzy didn’t want to tell him that the reason why was because she was scared that she would lose control, knowing how attracted she is to him physically. She knew, once they start having sex again every line would be blur, and she couldn’t let that happen again. So she answered “Because I don’t trust us.” Chansung seemed to agree, so they had never slept together until today. Chansung knew Nanzy had been lost in her mind again so he shook her body, “Hey you. Stop thinking too much. I don’t know why are you saying this right now. For me, we’re already together. You really need to stop worrying about what we are and where we are. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy and see how things go. That’s what I’m doing right now. But thank you for your assurance, it is nice to hear.” he smiled at her. She nodded and smiled back. “Now shall we dance?” he popped out his question, just like that night he asked her out of the blue, the last time they came to Hawaii. “Here? But there’s no music.” she felt like reenacting what happened then, while hiding her smile. “I’ll sing.” he obviously got her point and played along. Nanzy walked closer to him and clasped her palm to his. They moved in unison as Chansung was humming the ‘Canon in D’, just like he did back then. He made her twirl, ignoring other people who must have thought they were such a weird couple, dancing barefoot with no music.  “Hey Chan…” “Hmmm?” “You suck at singing.” “There goes my career.” he didn’t seem to care. Nanzy giggled in his arm “But you’re a fantastic dancer.” “Oh thank you. I’m also a passionate lover if you let me prove it to you.” he joked. Nanzy pinched him but still laughing, because of course, they both knew how much of a fact that is. “I want to be with you too.” he then looked at her in a serious manner, he even stopped his steps. “These last couple of months have been so hard for me and I am not talking about Greg. I’m talking about us, not being able to hug you and kiss you when you’re only a door away. I had to restrain myself and shower with cold water every morning just to keep my needs in place and my sanity checked. I was not doing all those for nothing. I wanted to prove to you that I could. I would do anything you wanted, to be with you guys in the long run. So thank you, for welcoming me back in your life, Nanzy. I just hope Greg would be tired enough to sleep early today because tonight I plan to make you pay for those torturing lonely nights you’ve put me through.” His voice was so calm but Nanzy heard his urge and a hint of threat that made her quiver inside. She wanted him too, and she wasn’t sure if Chansung knew that. Nanzy could only look at him and imagine their lives ahead of them. She knew that this is place where she belongs. This is where she was supposed to be. With him. Safe and comforted. “I love you.” she said it firmly. She wasn’t scared anymore. This time, she knew his reply would be true. She knew, what they had was worth fighting for and from this moment on, they are going be ok. “I love you too.” he closed the gap between them and kissed her long enough to make Greg felt ignored. Chansung parted and looked down at his mini-me while Nanzy still had her eyes closed, recovering from the feel of an amazing kiss she had forgotten. “Nan….” “Hmm?” she slowly opened her eyes. “Do you think Taecyeon hyung wouldn’t mind paying for the laundry too?” Chansung asked with a serious tone. First Nanzy didn’t understand what he meant but Chansung signaled her to see Greg who was looking back at her with his big eyes and his clothes drenched in ocean water. “Oh my god…” she felt so bad, but Chansung laughed and said that Taecyeon has to earn the ‘Greg’s Favorite Uncle” title he always claim and this could be the perfect time for him to do so. Luckily Nanzy never forget to bring extra clothes knowing her son’s behavior, so as the dusk had fallen and the sky had transformed to a beautiful mango color, three of them started walking towards the party before everyone started turning upside down. This time, they were hand in hand. ~Fin~ ************************************************************************************************* Note: Hey readers, first off all I would like to say BIG THANKS for those of you who are following my story. It was such an overwhelming feeling whenever I saw a new follower, it was like “Holy crap, another human being likes my crappy writing?” :P But jokes aside, thanks so much for staying til the end /dramaqueen. Lost in 2PM was started back in early 2010 and as you guys know this is my first fic so I wasn’t really putting too much into it and wasn’t sure where I was going. My friend who made me write this was all “Why don’t you start a fic about 2PM?” and I was like “LMAO dude, I would never have the patience long enough to finish it.” but look where I am now, after a tiring 9 months, 43 chapters and countless cups of coffee, I am still writing. Unfortunately this has come to an end (JFC 43 chapters, why are you guys still here, srsly? /sobs) and today I decided that this would be the time. Unless you want me to write about how Nanzy and Chansung grow old together, wipe each other’s ass and die together while hugging in bed. But that doesn’t sound so appealing now, does it? Anyway, hope you’ve had fun so far and I’m sorry for both intentional and unintentional errors I’ve made here. I know my grammar isn’t perfect at all but C’MON THIS IS MY FIRST FIC YOU GUISE GIMME A BREAK HERE!!!!!!! (loljk, I acknowledge my mistakes and am always learning. Cross my heart.) So truthfully , thank you for being such super awesome readers, the visible ones or even the phantom ones. Good bye for now & hope to see you all in the future fic* *only if I ever write another one again but most likely yes because this is full of fun and glory keke

CHAPTER 43 - Where I End & We Begin

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to her and her alone, for as long as you both shall live?” 

“I do.”

“And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to him and to him alone, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

The priest smiled. He signaled the first guy standing behind the groom to give the ring. Park Jaebum, looking sharp with his tux and pink satin handkerchief in his suit pocket, moved forward while handing out two simple rings. Jay tapped the familiar shoulder as a form of encouragement while whispering “You son of a bitch.” before stepping down the small stairs after receiving a judgmental look from the priest who obviously heard him.

Wooyoung chuckled and nodded in agreement. He quickly went back to staring at a beautiful woman standing before him, a small veil hid her face but her familiar short jet black hair reminded him that she is soon to be his.

He repeated what the priest asked him to say and watched while she did her part. They exchanged rings, Aileen had quite a pause when the ring got stuck on Wooyoung’s finger. They laughed it off, the first laugh he heard coming from her. He knew she was nervous, the cracks and trembles in her voice while uttering her pledge told him so. He was dying to see her today since he was not supposed to until right now, in their beautiful ceremony behind the big house of Lanikai, a place they went and stayed before.

When Wooyoung asked her 2 months ago why she chose this place, she said “This was where it started. I want it to be where it ends.”

He then joked by asking what she meant by “end” because it sounded like she was going to assassinate him. He then continued “This is not the end for us, this is a whole new beginning.” in a more serious tone, which she smiled at and agreed on.

All he wanted to do was to uncover her face so when the priest finally said “You may kiss the bride.” he rushed in and lifted the white tulle to find his smiling bride. He was taken back just like the first time he laid his eyes on her, peeking from outside the door of their practice room back in Korea. His wife is gorgeous.

As he looked deep inside her eyes, he saw their journey. A speck of her pain, fear of love and happiness. He still saw a little bit of it and for that he grabbed her hand, he smiled before saying “Don’t worry, I am here now.”

Ai saw his eyes glistened, she nervously laughed and asked him “Why are you crying?” while ignoring their friends who were screaming impatiently for them to kiss. “Happy.” he said, she moved closer to him and tip toed before kissing the happy man who also makes her happy. The man who stayed there for her, the man who she saw for the first time when her vision returned.

The man who she feels safe with.

Crowds below them cheered and threw rice and confetti while they walked down to greet everybody. Their garden party looks simple and gorgeous, white linens and colorful flowers pleased everyone’s eyes, foods and drinks were amazing, the conversations were flowing. All 2PM were there, looking sharp in their monkey suits. Aileen almost couldn’t recognize some of them, they have grown so much over time. 

“Congratulation, sister in law.” Junho hugged her tightly, the rest followed him and hugged her one by one. Wooyoung who just came back with a drink rushed in,

“Hey hey hey what is this? She is a married woman for 5 minutes and you guys are already all over her, huh? Go away.”

“Hyung, don’t be too jealous. We’re just welcoming her to the family.” Chansung gallantly smirked to Aileen who let out a small chuckle.

“And by welcoming her I meant telling her all your bad habits.” he continued while sipping his white wine.

“Arghhh…why are you even here? Where is your son?” Wooyoung looked around, trying to find the small guy who has been stealing everyone’s heart. Several months ago Chansung came back to Korea and announced that he’s had a son but the identity was kept a secret. He also announced that he would take a break from the music business and went to America to study acting.

He basically brought chaos to Kpop industry.

His hyungs knew the major reason why Chansung left was because of Greg. He didn’t want to be distant from that kid and such sacrifice needed to be made. If he could have things his way, he would have chosen both his career and normal life; but as luck would have it, the reality wasn’t as cooperative as he wished.

2PM decided to take things slow, the members continued with their solo activities and still managed to take over Korea with their endorsement, CFs, movies and dramas. If anything, 2PM did change how they were viewed as idols. Ever since Jaebum appeared on Tv and said that he was going to date Bekah, many idols found their guts to do the same thing. No one was as brave as him tho, they didn’t actually ask the girl out on live television but they were indeed much more open about dating than they ever could. The fans seemed to be more forgiving too, hate mails and threats were still around because crazy people would stay crazy but at least the rest realized that idols have lives too.

“Hmm…yeah, I don’t know where he is, I’ll go fetch him.” Chansung put his hand in his pocket and left the group. Taecyeon, Khun, Junsu and Junho stayed and continued chatting with the newly wed while Jaebum spotted someone and excused himself.

“Hey sexy, where have you been? I’ve missed you.” he shamelessly pulled Bekah in and kissed her.

“I miss you too. Where is the food? Oh my god I’m starving.” she ignored him and looked around.

“Wait, you weren’t here for the ceremony?” he stopped her.

“What are you talking about, of course I was.  I saw you suavely did your important job, mister ring bearer.” she teased him.

“I’m no Frodo.”

“Of course you’re not. You’re a foot taller.”

“Whatever I’m still taller than you, Rebekah Kim.” he made sure no one nearby was looking and secretively squeezed her butt, he had been having a hard time resisting to do so when he saw her this morning with her body-tight peach colored dress, showing her full figure. He couldn’t do anything because he had to do a last minute rehearsal with Wooyoung and the priest so he ended up groaning every time he saw her walking around.

“Why are you two always so disgusting? Get a room.” Chansung passed by while still in his son-hunting mission.

Bekah blushed and scolded Jay with her eyes. Jay on the other hand was already immune with those kind of comments from his dongsaeng, at one point he just told himself that they were just jealous. It worked for him, apparently.

“Oh by the way, Jay…my parents are here.” she lightly told him while transferring some food from the buffet to her plate.

“What, babe?” he thought he heard her wrong.

“Parents. Here.”

“WHAT THE-? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?” he shrieked with his eyeballs almost popped out of the sockets.

“Relax, they’re cool.”

“But still, oh fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that wine. Does my breath smell? Do I look messy?” he panicked and started checking his wrinkle-free suit.

“You look fine, Jay. As I said, they’re nice people.”

“But-but…why are they here?” Jay followed Bekah around like a stray dog while she was at the drink booth ordering a Lava Flow.

“What do you mean why, Wooyoung invited them. Besides, they live here. That’s my house.” she pointed at one house in sight on the curve of the beach. He had no idea this was her neighborhood.

“You never told me.”

“I did. I always told you I miss Lanikai. THIS is Lanikai.” she glanced at him like he was crazy person.

“Oh, I…missed the connection, yes. But, you’re sure I look ok, right?” Jay was genuinely nervous. He, for one, always have an adult-phobia and in this case it’s even worse because it’s Bekah’s parents. He knew at one point he would meet them because he really likes Bekah and he doesn’t want to be one of those pathetic boyfriends who play hide and seek with the future in-laws.

It’s just he would appreciate an approximate 6 weeks in advance for him to prepare his speech and mentality so he doesn’t appear too lame in front of them. Bekah thought he was over-thinking it because as she said “I like you the way you are. Why wouldn’t they?”

“Just…be yourself. Oh, and don’t do anything sexual in front of them, Jay. I don’t think they’re ready for that.” she munched her salmon and looked at him.

“Why? It’s not my fault that their oldest daughter has a one hot piece of aaaaa—— HELLOWW THERE SIR, MRS. KIM.” he abruptly ended his inappropriate comment and greeted Bekah’s parents as they were coming towards their table.

Bekah almost chocked on her rice, thinking how tragic it would be if they over heard what Jay was trying to say. She likes him a lot, even with his incongruous behavior and obscene remarks, she finds him very charming and hilarious. The reason why she was positive her parents would love him too. And she was right, Jay were polite but still natural, he kept glancing at her from across the table when her mom was telling him about how Bekah was as a child. His eyes widened when her mom told a story when Bekah fell from the roof from trying to save her neighbor who somehow ended up there and couldn’t come down on his own.

“He fell in love with her ever since, he told everyone she was his girlfriend up until 7th grade. But she broke his heart, saying that she couldn’t even remember saving him and falling down.” her mom chuckled.

“Yeah, that sounds like Bekah.” Jay glanced at her again, his eyes seemed so different, like he was proud of her. It was a weird moment for Bekah because she had seen his eyes so many times and she had seen playful, naughty, angry, sad, happy. But this one is new. She has yet to figure out what that means and what has caused that.

She was playing with her food when she heard Jay telling her dad “You have a wonderful daughter, Sir.” and her chest was suddenly full and warm. She always imagined how it would look like if Jay met her parents. She would imagine the scene, the conversation. But the only thing she failed to cover, is how she would actually feel. It felt so surreal, she was not prepared for this. So before Jay or any of her parents saw, she wiped the tears in the corner of her eyes and joined the conversation.

********************************************************************************
*****************

Nanzy silently walked next to the shoreline while carrying her heels, the sand tickled her toes and the small waves splashed, brushing against her legs with cold water. She was pensive, half admiring the gorgeous view of the beach with the turquoise ocean and the bright blue sky. Last several months had been interesting for her, so many changes and adjustments had to be done, Greg grew faster than any other babies she had seen. And of course, Chansung. He was always in her mind, in both good and bad way. She sometimes blamed him when things got rough and he would blamed her. They fought a lot, over the most ridiculous thing like the color of baby stroller.

“I would go with baby blue.” she said.

“I would go with green so if we have a daughter she can use it too.” he replied.

“Who says I want to have another child with you?”

“Me. You have no say in this matter.”

“How dare you, I’m the one carrying them. You’re just like…..the seed planter. I’m the garden.” she ran out of idea.

“Ok, garden, while you’re being green and colorful why don’t we pick this green stroller so it can match you.”

It always ended like that, Chansung always won every argument. Partly because she knew he was right. Behind her grunting and hair-pulling moments, Nanzy could never thank him enough for being there for her. A helping hand did make a lot of difference in her life. She learned it over time.

“MOOOOOOOMMYYY!!!” a chirpy voice came nearer and she knew it was Greg’s. Before she turned around she already felt two small hands hugging her legs and a small head with thick black hair resting on her thighs.

“Hello young man, how did you get here?” Nanzy lifted him up so his brand new formal baby suit that Taecyeon gave him as a birthday present didn’t get wet. She turned around and expected to see Dylan, who snatched Greg a while ago and promised to babysit him for a little bit. But she wasn’t there, instead it was Chansung. He stood on the beach, already took off his suit, leaving him with a white dress shirt with sleeves rolled up. He always managed to take her breath away no matter how many times she had seen him.

“Hi. We were looking for you.” he took off his shoes and socks before walking closer.

“Oh, I was just….” Nanzy tried to explain what she was doing but she forgot why.

“Musing on life?” Chansung lifted Greg from her and held him.

“Something like that.”

“You’re always thinking. Aren’t you tired?” he asked while brushing off some dry sands who got caught in her hair.

“Hehe, not yet. Maybe someday when I’m old, when my brain shuts down.”

“I will still be young by then.” Chansung soullessly commented, ignoring a death glare from her. “Anyway, I think Greg inherits all my traits so you don’t have to worry.”

“That would be my only reason to be worried.” she smacked him.

“No, I’m serious. This kid has a good taste.”

“What do you mean?” Nanzy looked over her kid who was already protesting at Chansung that he shouldn’t have been off the ground while there were exciting waves and sand below his feet.

“When we came here I told him to pick and run to the prettiest girl he can see. He ran to you.” Chansung looked proud.

“You silly, of course he ran to me. I am his mother.” she shook her head.

“No, look, there were many pretty girls here.” Chansung pointed at some random people sitting around the beach, some of them called Greg to play with their sandcastle. “But I’d choose you too if I were him.” Chansung smiled while watching Greg smelling a starfish that he found after digging through the sand with his little hand.

Nanzy was still shaking her head, Chansung could be hilariously innocent and goofy. She sometimes think Greg finds a genuine friendship with Chansung as if they were the same age.

“Hey Greg, who’s pretty?” Chansung yelled.

“Mommy.” his small head didn’t even look at her when he answered. She suspected Chansung taught him to say that. But she didn’t want to argue, today she wanted to be civil and just enjoy the surroundings. Aileen just got married and she was so happy to know that her best friend has finally overcome her fear. It is time for me to overcome mine, she told herself.

“Chansung.”

“Hmm?” he was busy watching Greg and making sure his son wasn’t going to be swept away to the Pacific Ocean.

“I want to be with you.” she carefully chose her words.

“What are you talking about? You are with me.”

“I mean…in the future, if you want to be a part of us, it’s okay too. I realized I need you and Greg needs you. I am stubborn, moody and get frustrated easily. But I bet you already knew that. I am sorry if I told you no when you came back that day. I am sorry for not willing to give you a chance in the first place.”

“Yeah you were so heartless, I had to go back to Seoul, announce my withdrawal and come back to prove to you that I was being serious. I had to fight my way to you, just because you thought I would hurt you again.” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Chansung had developed that habit and does it whenever he gets frustrated and dumbfounded.

Nanzy silenced. Many nights they fought over this, she didn’t even let Chansung to sleep in the same bed with her. She was that scared. In the end it backfired because she was suffering too. Seeing him every morning walking around in the corridor with nothing but a towel on was not easy for her pathetic lonely body. Her hormones were going insane whenever Chansung accidentally touched her while trying to move Greg from her arms to his, or whenever he carelessly left the door opened while showering. She cursed him, she swore he was intentionally teasing her.

“This is silly, why do I have to sleep on the couch when your bed is as big as soccer field?” he complained one morning over a bowl of cereal.

Nanzy didn’t want to tell him that the reason why was because she was scared that she would lose control, knowing how attracted she is to him physically. She knew, once they start having sex again every line would be blur, and she couldn’t let that happen again. So she answered “Because I don’t trust us.” Chansung seemed to agree, so they had never slept together until today.

Chansung knew Nanzy had been lost in her mind again so he shook her body, “Hey you. Stop thinking too much. I don’t know why are you saying this right now. For me, we’re already together. You really need to stop worrying about what we are and where we are. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy and see how things go. That’s what I’m doing right now. But thank you for your assurance, it is nice to hear.” he smiled at her. She nodded and smiled back.

“Now shall we dance?” he popped out his question, just like that night he asked her out of the blue, the last time they came to Hawaii.

“Here? But there’s no music.” she felt like reenacting what happened then, while hiding her smile.

“I’ll sing.” he obviously got her point and played along. Nanzy walked closer to him and clasped her palm to his. They moved in unison as Chansung was humming the ‘Canon in D’, just like he did back then. He made her twirl, ignoring other people who must have thought they were such a weird couple, dancing barefoot with no music. 

“Hey Chan…”

“Hmmm?”

“You suck at singing.”

“There goes my career.” he didn’t seem to care.

Nanzy giggled in his arm “But you’re a fantastic dancer.”

“Oh thank you. I’m also a passionate lover if you let me prove it to you.” he joked. Nanzy pinched him but still laughing, because of course, they both knew how much of a fact that is.

“I want to be with you too.” he then looked at her in a serious manner, he even stopped his steps. “These last couple of months have been so hard for me and I am not talking about Greg. I’m talking about us, not being able to hug you and kiss you when you’re only a door away. I had to restrain myself and shower with cold water every morning just to keep my needs in place and my sanity checked. I was not doing all those for nothing. I wanted to prove to you that I could. I would do anything you wanted, to be with you guys in the long run. So thank you, for welcoming me back in your life, Nanzy. I just hope Greg would be tired enough to sleep early today because tonight I plan to make you pay for those torturing lonely nights you’ve put me through.”

His voice was so calm but Nanzy heard his urge and a hint of threat that made her quiver inside. She wanted him too, and she wasn’t sure if Chansung knew that. Nanzy could only look at him and imagine their lives ahead of them. She knew that this is place where she belongs. This is where she was supposed to be. With him. Safe and comforted.

“I love you.” she said it firmly. She wasn’t scared anymore. This time, she knew his reply would be true. She knew, what they had was worth fighting for and from this moment on, they are going be ok.

“I love you too.” he closed the gap between them and kissed her long enough to make Greg felt ignored. Chansung parted and looked down at his mini-me while Nanzy still had her eyes closed, recovering from the feel of an amazing kiss she had forgotten.

“Nan….”

“Hmm?” she slowly opened her eyes.

“Do you think Taecyeon hyung wouldn’t mind paying for the laundry too?” Chansung asked with a serious tone.

First Nanzy didn’t understand what he meant but Chansung signaled her to see Greg who was looking back at her with his big eyes and his clothes drenched in ocean water.

“Oh my god…” she felt so bad, but Chansung laughed and said that Taecyeon has to earn the ‘Greg’s Favorite Uncle” title he always claim and this could be the perfect time for him to do so. Luckily Nanzy never forget to bring extra clothes knowing her son’s behavior, so as the dusk had fallen and the sky had transformed to a beautiful mango color, three of them started walking towards the party before everyone started turning upside down.

This time, they were hand in hand.

~Fin~

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Note:

Hey readers, first off all I would like to say BIG THANKS for those of you who are following my story. It was such an overwhelming feeling whenever I saw a new follower, it was like “Holy crap, another human being likes my crappy writing?” :P But jokes aside, thanks so much for staying til the end /dramaqueen. Lost in 2PM was started back in early 2010 and as you guys know this is my first fic so I wasn’t really putting too much into it and wasn’t sure where I was going. My friend who made me write this was all “Why don’t you start a fic about 2PM?” and I was like “LMAO dude, I would never have the patience long enough to finish it.” but look where I am now, after a tiring 9 months, 43 chapters and countless cups of coffee, I am still writing.

Unfortunately this has come to an end (JFC 43 chapters, why are you guys still here, srsly? /sobs) and today I decided that this would be the time. Unless you want me to write about how Nanzy and Chansung grow old together, wipe each other’s ass and die together while hugging in bed. But that doesn’t sound so appealing now, does it?

Anyway, hope you’ve had fun so far and I’m sorry for both intentional and unintentional errors I’ve made here. I know my grammar isn’t perfect at all but C’MON THIS IS MY FIRST FIC YOU GUISE GIMME A BREAK HERE!!!!!!! (loljk, I acknowledge my mistakes and am always learning. Cross my heart.) So truthfully , thank you for being such super awesome readers, the visible ones or even the phantom ones. Good bye for now & hope to see you all in the future fic*

*only if I ever write another one again but most likely yes because this is full of fun and glory keke


Chapter 42 - The Angel in Us Nanzy paid attention to Taecyeon who was updating them with the rest of the guys’ current activities. While listening, she intimately stole a glance of a man sitting across from her. Several months ago she would look at Chansung and think of him as a young guy always cracks jokes whenever he can and whose mind is never set in one place. But this person in front of her today, is not the same person she knew back then. There is something different about him. Something darker and more mysterious that frightened Nanzy. She scrutinized his face with his prominent jawlines, he seems thinner now with some faint facial hairs growing, creating dark shadows on his lower half of face. Chansung didn’t need to scare her off, just the way his eagle eyes pierced after she opened the door for him was enough to make Nanzy run to the corner every time Chansung moved one step closer towards her. Nanzy was so absorbed in her own thought and neglected the fact that Taecyeon and Chansung had stopped talking. She saw Chansung turned his face and fixed his fiery eyes on her. A sudden chill zigzagged from her head down to her backbones. Why is he looking at me? Did I do something wrong? Then suddenly a noise came from the room on their right, Nanzy immediately cursed at herself for forgetting the most important thing in her life at that moment. She was so convened on wishing Chansung would leave before her little man wakes up from his sleep so she could have more time to think over things. Chansung’s eyes widened and he got up. “Wait, Chan…” Nanzy pulled his hand as he walked pass by her but it was useless since his big steps already reached the door. Taec also rose from his seat, his expression showed sympathy. He then hugged her shoulder while walking together following Chansung. “Just tell him the truth.” Taec whispered, his hands were rubbing her arms, consoling her. As soon as Nanzy went inside the room, her heart dropped to the floor. The view of Chansung standing in front of the baby’s cradle was almost a little too much for her to handle. She always wondered how Chansung would have reacted if he knew all along and sometimes she also imagined him with her baby although over a period of time, she had killed that imagination for the sake of her own sanity. Nanzy waited for a moment before calling his name but Chansung ignored her. He kept staring at a moving living thing inside the small bed, the silence was killing her slowly. “Is he mine?”  Chansung suddenly looked up and asked. If Chansung asked 9 months earlier, Nanzy would probably have gotten away by saying no. But as the baby grew older, he looked more and more like Chansung. His high nose, big round eyes, hell, even his healthy appetite is like Chansung’s. So Nanzy knew it was pointless to lie about it, even a blind person would say they share the same blood. She gulped in air, then looked at Chansung square in the eye. “Yes” seemed to be the only word she could manage. “How old is he?” Chansung asked again, his eyes went back to his mini-me. “Next month he turns 1.” Nanzy answered. “What’s his name?” his voice was fading as he looked away, observing every single thing in that room. “Greg.” “I beg your pardon?” “Gregory. I call him Greg.” “What kind of name is Greg?” his eyebrows scrunched before turning to Nanzy who felt like she was being punished for naming her own son. “I named him after my great great grandfather, Chan.” she inhaled, holding back her anger. “So why didn’t you get in touch with me to let me know I was going to be a father?” “I…..” Nanzy couldn’t answer him right away. She opened her mouth but no voice came out. Her memory rewind itself to the day she left Korea. That day she made two of the most important decisions in her life; to keep her baby and leave the guy who fathered him. Nanzy didn’t have a family to come home to, so as soon as she landeed she went to Dylan who just moved in to a studio by herself. Nanzy lived with Dylan during her pregnancy although Aileen offered her place as well. Nanzy declined Ai’s help knowing Ai and her mom in fact needed that extra space in their apartment and she thought it was better that she remained distant from 2PM, considering Wooyoung visited Aileen multiple times. Wooyoung found out about her pregnancy right after he accidentally bumped into her at a newspaper stand near SoHo. They sat down in a coffee shop and had a little chat that morning, she made him promise not to say anything to anyone. “Are you sure you’re ok, Nuna?” Wooyoung asked before they parted. Nanzy nodded and said yes. It wasn’t just a casual yes, she said it with a confidence because she knew she was doing great and feeling great. The first couple of months Nanzy wasn’t sure if she made the right decision but the bigger her belly looked, the bigger her love for the baby had become and she knew she would be just fine, all by herself. “Cat’s got your tongue?” Chansung broke the silence. “I didn’t contact you because it wasn’t the right thing to do.” she answered after clearing her throat. “We have a baby together. You and me. How is it not the right thing to do?” “We just broke up, Chan. Don’t you remember?” “Yes. But you could still talk to me, damnit woman, I have the rights to know!” he suddenly raged. Nanzy saw Greg weeped from his baby bed, he turned around by himself and tried to stand up but ended up losing his balance. He then flinched and started crying when Chansung raised his tone. She figured Greg must have been startled by the sudden and infuriated voice. Nanzy walked towards them and softly pushed Chansung away with her body while reaching out for Greg. She lifted him and whispered in her soothing voice while rocking the teary-eyed baby in her arms. “Shhh, that’s ok sweetie. He didn’t mean it.” She paused before looking up to Chansung who was watching them both, “Yah! You scared him.” her eyes were angrier than her voice. “Sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t mean to.” he lowered his volume, the way he stood seemed so uncomfortable like a kid being in a party room full of grown up men. “I…I’ll come back later. I don’t want to bother you.” he suddenly walked away towards the door where Taecyeon was and before Nanzy even had a time to say anything, the 2 big bodies were already gone. I guess he hasn’t changed all that much, he still runs away when things get complicated. Nanzy scoffed and cupped the tiny head with her hand while singing a lullaby for her cranky little guy. ******************************************************************************** ***************** “Thanks, hyung, for letting me to stay with you.” Chansung sat on the single bed in the room that Taecyeon checked in since yesterday. The Inn was only 2 blocks away from Nanzy’s apartment, apparently Taecyeon always stayed here whenever he visited Nanzy. “Of course, where else you would want to stay now that Nanzy’s got a new man.” Taec snickered. “It’s not funny, ok? I have a baby, Hyung. A BABY. What am I supposed to do with a baby?” Chansung rested his back, both hands covering his eyes. He suddenly felt so tired and just wanted to crash until tomorrow. “You’re right, sorry. But I still don’t forgive you for accusing me. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.” “Yeah. My bad, Hyung. I guess I was just- “ “Jealous?” Taec stole his last word. “It’s ok. Admit it, Chan. You still care about her.” “Yeah but, I don’t think I’m ready for this. Besides it seems like she doesn’t want me to be around.” Chansung sat up and took off his shoes. Taecyeon lied down on his bed, resting his big arms behind his head. “You know, I’ve visited her several times and from what I saw, she had been doing a wonderful job being a single mom. She told me once that from that moment on her life was for Greg and she is true to her words. I don’t even think she ever dated anyone else after you.” “Hyung, before we move on, just so I can get this thing off of my mind, would you mind telling me why you chose to keep contact with her even after she left?” Chansung turned his body at Taec, his face demanded some answers. Taecyeon sighed, he knew Chansung had the rights to know. “You remember Jacqueline? Nanzy’s twin?” Chansung nodded. “Well I hooked up with her.” “I knew that.” “No, I meant right after you left for Army.” “What? Why? I thought you said you disliked her.” “Oh, I was disgusted.” “…then why the heck?” “Because I wanted her to pay.” “….Huh?” Chansung seemed lost. “Nanzy wrote a letter to Jin Young hyung saying that she intended to pay him back for the amount of money he had to bribe the person who blackmailed us with the pictures of me hanging around her apartment. I was suspicious because it was too much of a coincidence that Jackie was in town at that time and the fact that I made her really upset that night even added to it, I knew what that girl is capable of. So I arranged a meeting and in the end of the night I finally got the words out from her, she admitted it.” “She blackmailed? For how much?” “Well..let’s say it was enough to buy a condo in Kangnam.” “Holy crap. How did you make her confess?” “Alcohol. That’s one of two weaknesses of her.” “What’s the other one?” “Me.” Chansung raised his left eyebrow, Taecyeon always bragged about how his ex liked him a lot but the guys ended up teasing him with the fact that he was the one who got dumped. “So anyway, I taped her voice saying all those things and threatened her to return the money she received from Jin Young hyung or else I would go to the police.” “Did she?” “Oh yeah, she did. She knew she would go to jail right away if I hand out the tape. Honestly I was glad that she chose to give me the money otherwise this case would be huge and I don’t want those coverage.” “I see.” Chansung paused and continued “But why did you do it, Hyung?” “Regret. Guilt, perhaps? I created trouble and that was the only way I could pay for my mistake. Still, you can never fix a broken mirror, right? Like you and Nanzy, some things would never be the same anymore. The damage is done.” Chansung silenced, his mind was still digesting all the new information he just received. “So, how did you find out about her…you know, pregnancy?” “After taking care of those things, I called Nanzy. I was with my family in Boston for a vacation, she was still in New York at that time, working full time. I told her she didn’t have to worry about the money anymore, since I paid Jin Young hyung back. And then she cried on the phone, it was probably hormonal. But back then she didn’t tell me why she cried, only repeating how much she appreciated what I had done. I was so confused, my intuition told me something wasn’t right so then I flew to New York to see her. Imagine how surprise I was when I really did SEE her.” “Was she healthy? Did she look different?” Chansung asked, wanting to know every detail. “Oh, she was. She gained weight but I wouldn’t have it any other way, gotta eat for 2 people, you know?” Chansung nodded, he blanked staring at the ceiling. “Well, I don’t know what to say except thank you for doing all that, Hyung.” Chansung couldn’t look at Taec in the eye, afraid his hyung might able to read his other feeling towards the whole situation. He was grateful that Taecyeon took care of Nanzy, but at the same time he was a little hurt to know that it should have been him.” “Don’t mention it, I just did what I thought was necessary. Besides Nanzy needed every penny she worked her butt off for her baby, so all and all it worked out.” Taecyeon turned his head to Chansung. “Umm..then what happened to Jackie?” Chansung asked after another long pause. “She left. Last thing I heard she was going to school somewhere in Europe, I don’t know…I don’t really care, as long as she doesn’t bother me, or Nanzy.” Chansung mumbled in agreement. “So what are you gonna do now?” Taecyeon spoke when Chansung didn’t say anything else. “I’m going to talk to her tomorrow. I’m so tired now, my brain isn’t functioning very well.” “Oh…well, I was about to ask you to hit the gym with me, I guess never mind then. I’ll go by myself. You’re gonna be here all day?” Chansung nodded, his eyes were so heavy and all he wanted was to sleep. He heard Taecyeon’s footstep walking towards the door but before leaving Taec said, “You know Chansung, she may never told me or would never admit it, but behind all those strong acts and brave smiles, she still does need someone in her life. Someone strong to be there for her. Someone who would fly thousands of miles just to check if she was ok. Someone whom she can rely on.” Chansung shot his eyes open, thinking Taecyeon was talking about himself, but then the older guy continued, “I would be lying if I say the thought of filling in that role never crossed my mind. She’s a good girl and Greg is so easy to love. But unfortunately, I knew more than anything, she needs someone whom she’s always loved. And that person wasn’t me. It was you.” BAM. The door was slammed and Taecyeon left the room. Chansung became even more confused now. He slowly faded into his own reverie, his eyes gave up on him and his body felt like jelly. The sight of Greg staring at him from inside his baby bed was still crystal clear in his murky head. He was sure his heart stopped beating for at least 2 seconds when Nanzy hugged the kid who looked like him. He panicked. Even right now just thinking about it, Chansung felt like he wanted to run away. In spite of that, something else held his feet to the ground. The naked truth slapped him right in the face, he knew he is responsible for them. But this is too much for me. Nanzy doesn’t want me, yet I feel like a jerk for leaving her. With such a heavy head, he went to sleep and hoping the world would be nicer to him when he wakes up. ************************************************************************************************* “No, Greg! Those are not toys, honey.” Nanzy saw Greg wobbled his way to reach her drawers and pulled her clothes out. She groaned faintly because she just finished folding and snugged them in there. While holding on to the cabinet, Greg looked up to her and grinned, showing his 6 small baby teeth. He does that every time Nanzy scolds him, knowing she would give up the world as soon as she sees that smile. This kid is just exactly like Chansung. Nanzy muttered in her head while lifting him up and away from the sharp corners. “Arghhhh since when you got this heavy, huh?” she groaned on his belly and tickled him while laying down on the bed. Greg let out a loud giggle and twitched around. “Mumm…” his mini finger pointed at her face. He had started saying some random words, his first one was “Mommy” and Nanzy almost teared up when she heard it couple of weeks ago. “Yes, me, mommy. And you are Greg. Greeeeg.” she gave him her proud smile and hoped to hear him saying his name. But instead, Greg only stared at her with his big eyes, couldn’t repeat what she just said. Nanzy sighed, maybe Chansung was right…Greg is not an easy name. Ahhh why am I keep thinking about him? She was mad at herself. Since yesterday morning visit from Chansung, Nanzy’s world has been turning upside down. She couldn’t even run her errand properly and whenever she looked at her son, she saw Chansung. “Are you hungry? You wanna eat?” she quickly turned her attention to Greg who was ready to escape again. They walked to the kitchen right when her doorbell rang. “Who is it?” she yelled out. “It’s me.” a voice replied. It was Chansung’s. Nanzy stopped her activity right there and then. She then brought Greg and put him in his baby seat before walking towards the door, she checked her reflection at the mirror hung on the wall. Oh my gosh, I look like a mental patient. She fixed her hair and pinched her cheek to bring a little color to her face. Looking at her reflection made her realize that there was nothing much she could do to repair the amount of mess she had all over. Her clothes were full of stains from the baby food Greg threw at her this morning and she hair never looked as tragic. Crap. It’s too late now. So with almost zero confidence, she twisted the door knob and found Chansung, looking like he just jumped out of Page 24 GQ magazine, standing in his usual position. The only noticeable difference was he had a white teddy bear in his left hand.  “Oh. Hi. You look sharp.” she ignored the amount of shriek she just let out. Why did I just sound like a fangirl? Jesus Christ. “Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself.” he quickly replied after checking out Nanzy’s dirty shirt and baggy training pants. “Heheh. Save it. I know I look like a murderer. Come on in.” she swung the door open for him. Chansung awkwardly walked pass her and stood not too far from the door. “Well…have a seat, don’t just stand there. I was just about to fix a lunch for Greg.” she walked away from Chansung, still afraid to stare at the gorgeous being holding a stuff animal in her living room. “Oh, yeah. This…I bought for him.” Chansung raised his arm, showing the white bear to Nanzy in case she didn’t see it yet. “Thank you, that’s a very nice of you. Well, he’s over there. You could give it to him.” Nanzy shouted from the kitchen, directing Chansung to the dining table where a small head with a jet black hair moved around in his seat, mumbling some words. Chansung didn’t move, for some reason the sight of that chirpy 18 pounds of meat with short teeth terrified him more than a regular size grown up man. “Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Well…only if you don’t come too close.” Nanzy joked, feeding off Chansung’s fear. He finally walked closer and grabbed a chair in front of Greg’s. As soon as he sat down, Greg who was already wearing his baby bibs stopped his table-poking business and looked up. “Hi.” Chansung waved. “HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI.” Greg replied loudly and made Chansung winced. “He talks?” Chansung shouted, asking Nanzy. “Umm..not clearly, he said a few words. -Hi- was one of the ones he mastered. But yeah, sorry about the volume, hehe. He needs to be trained in that department.” Chansung looked back at Greg again who automatically reached out for the teddy bear as soon as he spotted it in Chansung’s hand. “You want it?” Chansung hid it behind his back, he saw Greg’s eyes followed it. “Yes???” Chansung nodded, waiting for a response. Quickly Greg nodded too while grumbling his protest for the disappearing of the bear. “Ta-da!” he brought it to Greg’s face and as a reward, the baby smiled at him. Chansung was stunned, the warm feeling in his heart grew bolder as he saw a pure innocent dimply smile from Greg. “He smiled at me. I think he recognized me.” he couldn’t hide his pride. “Greg smiles at everything that moves in front of his eyes, Chansung.” Nanzy hid her laugh while walking closer. “Oh.” he brushed off Nanzy’s comment in his head, insisting that Greg did purposely smile at him. “So…what brought you here today, besides the bear?” she sat on the other side of the table, holding a bowl full of a mesh looking food and small cut vegetables. “He can eat those?” Chansung pointed at the peas and carrots. “Oh yeah, of course. I boiled them so they’re soft. Greg eats everything, he’s an easy one.” Nanzy wanted to add “Just like you.” but she stopped before sounding too obvious. She placed the bowl in front of Greg, gave him the baby spoon and took the clean white teddy bear before it gets stained. Chansung was amazed that Greg can eat on his own. His chunky little legs swung back and forth, showing that he was happy. “Anyway, Nuna…I came here to tell you that…” Chansung waited until Nanzy’s attention was completely shifted from Greg to him. “Yes?” she asked. “I’m not ready yet.” “….for what? “For you and Greg.” Nanzy blinked, she gazed at him like he was speaking in riddles. And then she sighed and smiled. “Oh my, Chansung. Don’t worry about that. I’m not asking you for anything, really. Please don’t feel obligated.” “Err, maybe I chose the wrong words. But I said I’m not ready YET.” “I heard ya. What difference does it make?” “A whole lot. What I wanted to tell you is that I do plan to be there for you and him although I’m worried about my lack of knowledge. I don’t know how much I can help you. Hell, maybe I would end up burdening you instead, but please, give me a chance. I don’t want to miss out anymore. I want to be there when he blows his first candle. I want to see it. I want to witness it with you.” Nanzy slouched in her chair, couldn’t believe what she just heard. She was so sure that Chansung wouldn’t want to check in to this Crazy Inn where Nanzy and Greg had been living. His reaction yesterday confirmed her speculation and today she thought that small teddy bear would be his goodbye present before leaving for good. I guess I was wrong. He said he wanted to apologize to me back in Korea. But how would it change us anyway? We’re still the same person, living different lives. Only Greg holds us together, but then…would it be enough to actually HOLD us? Nanzy took her eyes off of Chansung and looked at her son instead. Would I be selfish if I said no? Would we be happier if it’s just the two of us? She took a moment to analyze everything, her life had been set and planned as she wanted. No place for Chansung. Above everything else that scared her the most, is how quickly she falls for Chansung. The effect he has on her. She was so afraid that by letting her guard down, she would get hurt once again. Only this time, it’s even more complicated because other than herself, it’s going to effect Greg too. Nanzy blinked and turned her head to Chansung whose attention had been for their little baby. She saw Chansung rubbed Greg’s chubby kicking leg and her heart was pierced once again. So finally, she knew what she was going to say, albeit the pain, self-denial and relinquishment she would soon be facing for the sake of their future. (to be continued) Chapter 42 - The Angel in Us Nanzy paid attention to Taecyeon who was updating them with the rest of the guys’ current activities. While listening, she intimately stole a glance of a man sitting across from her. Several months ago she would look at Chansung and think of him as a young guy always cracks jokes whenever he can and whose mind is never set in one place. But this person in front of her today, is not the same person she knew back then. There is something different about him. Something darker and more mysterious that frightened Nanzy. She scrutinized his face with his prominent jawlines, he seems thinner now with some faint facial hairs growing, creating dark shadows on his lower half of face. Chansung didn’t need to scare her off, just the way his eagle eyes pierced after she opened the door for him was enough to make Nanzy run to the corner every time Chansung moved one step closer towards her. Nanzy was so absorbed in her own thought and neglected the fact that Taecyeon and Chansung had stopped talking. She saw Chansung turned his face and fixed his fiery eyes on her. A sudden chill zigzagged from her head down to her backbones. Why is he looking at me? Did I do something wrong? Then suddenly a noise came from the room on their right, Nanzy immediately cursed at herself for forgetting the most important thing in her life at that moment. She was so convened on wishing Chansung would leave before her little man wakes up from his sleep so she could have more time to think over things. Chansung’s eyes widened and he got up. “Wait, Chan…” Nanzy pulled his hand as he walked pass by her but it was useless since his big steps already reached the door. Taec also rose from his seat, his expression showed sympathy. He then hugged her shoulder while walking together following Chansung. “Just tell him the truth.” Taec whispered, his hands were rubbing her arms, consoling her. As soon as Nanzy went inside the room, her heart dropped to the floor. The view of Chansung standing in front of the baby’s cradle was almost a little too much for her to handle. She always wondered how Chansung would have reacted if he knew all along and sometimes she also imagined him with her baby although over a period of time, she had killed that imagination for the sake of her own sanity. Nanzy waited for a moment before calling his name but Chansung ignored her. He kept staring at a moving living thing inside the small bed, the silence was killing her slowly. “Is he mine?”  Chansung suddenly looked up and asked. If Chansung asked 9 months earlier, Nanzy would probably have gotten away by saying no. But as the baby grew older, he looked more and more like Chansung. His high nose, big round eyes, hell, even his healthy appetite is like Chansung’s. So Nanzy knew it was pointless to lie about it, even a blind person would say they share the same blood. She gulped in air, then looked at Chansung square in the eye. “Yes” seemed to be the only word she could manage. “How old is he?” Chansung asked again, his eyes went back to his mini-me. “Next month he turns 1.” Nanzy answered. “What’s his name?” his voice was fading as he looked away, observing every single thing in that room. “Greg.” “I beg your pardon?” “Gregory. I call him Greg.” “What kind of name is Greg?” his eyebrows scrunched before turning to Nanzy who felt like she was being punished for naming her own son. “I named him after my great great grandfather, Chan.” she inhaled, holding back her anger. “So why didn’t you get in touch with me to let me know I was going to be a father?” “I…..” Nanzy couldn’t answer him right away. She opened her mouth but no voice came out. Her memory rewind itself to the day she left Korea. That day she made two of the most important decisions in her life; to keep her baby and leave the guy who fathered him. Nanzy didn’t have a family to come home to, so as soon as she landeed she went to Dylan who just moved in to a studio by herself. Nanzy lived with Dylan during her pregnancy although Aileen offered her place as well. Nanzy declined Ai’s help knowing Ai and her mom in fact needed that extra space in their apartment and she thought it was better that she remained distant from 2PM, considering Wooyoung visited Aileen multiple times. Wooyoung found out about her pregnancy right after he accidentally bumped into her at a newspaper stand near SoHo. They sat down in a coffee shop and had a little chat that morning, she made him promise not to say anything to anyone. “Are you sure you’re ok, Nuna?” Wooyoung asked before they parted. Nanzy nodded and said yes. It wasn’t just a casual yes, she said it with a confidence because she knew she was doing great and feeling great. The first couple of months Nanzy wasn’t sure if she made the right decision but the bigger her belly looked, the bigger her love for the baby had become and she knew she would be just fine, all by herself. “Cat’s got your tongue?” Chansung broke the silence. “I didn’t contact you because it wasn’t the right thing to do.” she answered after clearing her throat. “We have a baby together. You and me. How is it not the right thing to do?” “We just broke up, Chan. Don’t you remember?” “Yes. But you could still talk to me, damnit woman, I have the rights to know!” he suddenly raged. Nanzy saw Greg weeped from his baby bed, he turned around by himself and tried to stand up but ended up losing his balance. He then flinched and started crying when Chansung raised his tone. She figured Greg must have been startled by the sudden and infuriated voice. Nanzy walked towards them and softly pushed Chansung away with her body while reaching out for Greg. She lifted him and whispered in her soothing voice while rocking the teary-eyed baby in her arms. “Shhh, that’s ok sweetie. He didn’t mean it.” She paused before looking up to Chansung who was watching them both, “Yah! You scared him.” her eyes were angrier than her voice. “Sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t mean to.” he lowered his volume, the way he stood seemed so uncomfortable like a kid being in a party room full of grown up men. “I…I’ll come back later. I don’t want to bother you.” he suddenly walked away towards the door where Taecyeon was and before Nanzy even had a time to say anything, the 2 big bodies were already gone. I guess he hasn’t changed all that much, he still runs away when things get complicated. Nanzy scoffed and cupped the tiny head with her hand while singing a lullaby for her cranky little guy. ******************************************************************************** ***************** “Thanks, hyung, for letting me to stay with you.” Chansung sat on the single bed in the room that Taecyeon checked in since yesterday. The Inn was only 2 blocks away from Nanzy’s apartment, apparently Taecyeon always stayed here whenever he visited Nanzy. “Of course, where else you would want to stay now that Nanzy’s got a new man.” Taec snickered. “It’s not funny, ok? I have a baby, Hyung. A BABY. What am I supposed to do with a baby?” Chansung rested his back, both hands covering his eyes. He suddenly felt so tired and just wanted to crash until tomorrow. “You’re right, sorry. But I still don’t forgive you for accusing me. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.” “Yeah. My bad, Hyung. I guess I was just- “ “Jealous?” Taec stole his last word. “It’s ok. Admit it, Chan. You still care about her.” “Yeah but, I don’t think I’m ready for this. Besides it seems like she doesn’t want me to be around.” Chansung sat up and took off his shoes. Taecyeon lied down on his bed, resting his big arms behind his head. “You know, I’ve visited her several times and from what I saw, she had been doing a wonderful job being a single mom. She told me once that from that moment on her life was for Greg and she is true to her words. I don’t even think she ever dated anyone else after you.” “Hyung, before we move on, just so I can get this thing off of my mind, would you mind telling me why you chose to keep contact with her even after she left?” Chansung turned his body at Taec, his face demanded some answers. Taecyeon sighed, he knew Chansung had the rights to know. “You remember Jacqueline? Nanzy’s twin?” Chansung nodded. “Well I hooked up with her.” “I knew that.” “No, I meant right after you left for Army.” “What? Why? I thought you said you disliked her.” “Oh, I was disgusted.” “…then why the heck?” “Because I wanted her to pay.” “….Huh?” Chansung seemed lost. “Nanzy wrote a letter to Jin Young hyung saying that she intended to pay him back for the amount of money he had to bribe the person who blackmailed us with the pictures of me hanging around her apartment. I was suspicious because it was too much of a coincidence that Jackie was in town at that time and the fact that I made her really upset that night even added to it, I knew what that girl is capable of. So I arranged a meeting and in the end of the night I finally got the words out from her, she admitted it.” “She blackmailed? For how much?” “Well..let’s say it was enough to buy a condo in Kangnam.” “Holy crap. How did you make her confess?” “Alcohol. That’s one of two weaknesses of her.” “What’s the other one?” “Me.” Chansung raised his left eyebrow, Taecyeon always bragged about how his ex liked him a lot but the guys ended up teasing him with the fact that he was the one who got dumped. “So anyway, I taped her voice saying all those things and threatened her to return the money she received from Jin Young hyung or else I would go to the police.” “Did she?” “Oh yeah, she did. She knew she would go to jail right away if I hand out the tape. Honestly I was glad that she chose to give me the money otherwise this case would be huge and I don’t want those coverage.” “I see.” Chansung paused and continued “But why did you do it, Hyung?” “Regret. Guilt, perhaps? I created trouble and that was the only way I could pay for my mistake. Still, you can never fix a broken mirror, right? Like you and Nanzy, some things would never be the same anymore. The damage is done.” Chansung silenced, his mind was still digesting all the new information he just received. “So, how did you find out about her…you know, pregnancy?” “After taking care of those things, I called Nanzy. I was with my family in Boston for a vacation, she was still in New York at that time, working full time. I told her she didn’t have to worry about the money anymore, since I paid Jin Young hyung back. And then she cried on the phone, it was probably hormonal. But back then she didn’t tell me why she cried, only repeating how much she appreciated what I had done. I was so confused, my intuition told me something wasn’t right so then I flew to New York to see her. Imagine how surprise I was when I really did SEE her.” “Was she healthy? Did she look different?” Chansung asked, wanting to know every detail. “Oh, she was. She gained weight but I wouldn’t have it any other way, gotta eat for 2 people, you know?” Chansung nodded, he blanked staring at the ceiling. “Well, I don’t know what to say except thank you for doing all that, Hyung.” Chansung couldn’t look at Taec in the eye, afraid his hyung might able to read his other feeling towards the whole situation. He was grateful that Taecyeon took care of Nanzy, but at the same time he was a little hurt to know that it should have been him.” “Don’t mention it, I just did what I thought was necessary. Besides Nanzy needed every penny she worked her butt off for her baby, so all and all it worked out.” Taecyeon turned his head to Chansung. “Umm..then what happened to Jackie?” Chansung asked after another long pause. “She left. Last thing I heard she was going to school somewhere in Europe, I don’t know…I don’t really care, as long as she doesn’t bother me, or Nanzy.” Chansung mumbled in agreement. “So what are you gonna do now?” Taecyeon spoke when Chansung didn’t say anything else. “I’m going to talk to her tomorrow. I’m so tired now, my brain isn’t functioning very well.” “Oh…well, I was about to ask you to hit the gym with me, I guess never mind then. I’ll go by myself. You’re gonna be here all day?” Chansung nodded, his eyes were so heavy and all he wanted was to sleep. He heard Taecyeon’s footstep walking towards the door but before leaving Taec said, “You know Chansung, she may never told me or would never admit it, but behind all those strong acts and brave smiles, she still does need someone in her life. Someone strong to be there for her. Someone who would fly thousands of miles just to check if she was ok. Someone whom she can rely on.” Chansung shot his eyes open, thinking Taecyeon was talking about himself, but then the older guy continued, “I would be lying if I say the thought of filling in that role never crossed my mind. She’s a good girl and Greg is so easy to love. But unfortunately, I knew more than anything, she needs someone whom she’s always loved. And that person wasn’t me. It was you.” BAM. The door was slammed and Taecyeon left the room. Chansung became even more confused now. He slowly faded into his own reverie, his eyes gave up on him and his body felt like jelly. The sight of Greg staring at him from inside his baby bed was still crystal clear in his murky head. He was sure his heart stopped beating for at least 2 seconds when Nanzy hugged the kid who looked like him. He panicked. Even right now just thinking about it, Chansung felt like he wanted to run away. In spite of that, something else held his feet to the ground. The naked truth slapped him right in the face, he knew he is responsible for them. But this is too much for me. Nanzy doesn’t want me, yet I feel like a jerk for leaving her. With such a heavy head, he went to sleep and hoping the world would be nicer to him when he wakes up. ************************************************************************************************* “No, Greg! Those are not toys, honey.” Nanzy saw Greg wobbled his way to reach her drawers and pulled her clothes out. She groaned faintly because she just finished folding and snugged them in there. While holding on to the cabinet, Greg looked up to her and grinned, showing his 6 small baby teeth. He does that every time Nanzy scolds him, knowing she would give up the world as soon as she sees that smile. This kid is just exactly like Chansung. Nanzy muttered in her head while lifting him up and away from the sharp corners. “Arghhhh since when you got this heavy, huh?” she groaned on his belly and tickled him while laying down on the bed. Greg let out a loud giggle and twitched around. “Mumm…” his mini finger pointed at her face. He had started saying some random words, his first one was “Mommy” and Nanzy almost teared up when she heard it couple of weeks ago. “Yes, me, mommy. And you are Greg. Greeeeg.” she gave him her proud smile and hoped to hear him saying his name. But instead, Greg only stared at her with his big eyes, couldn’t repeat what she just said. Nanzy sighed, maybe Chansung was right…Greg is not an easy name. Ahhh why am I keep thinking about him? She was mad at herself. Since yesterday morning visit from Chansung, Nanzy’s world has been turning upside down. She couldn’t even run her errand properly and whenever she looked at her son, she saw Chansung. “Are you hungry? You wanna eat?” she quickly turned her attention to Greg who was ready to escape again. They walked to the kitchen right when her doorbell rang. “Who is it?” she yelled out. “It’s me.” a voice replied. It was Chansung’s. Nanzy stopped her activity right there and then. She then brought Greg and put him in his baby seat before walking towards the door, she checked her reflection at the mirror hung on the wall. Oh my gosh, I look like a mental patient. She fixed her hair and pinched her cheek to bring a little color to her face. Looking at her reflection made her realize that there was nothing much she could do to repair the amount of mess she had all over. Her clothes were full of stains from the baby food Greg threw at her this morning and she hair never looked as tragic. Crap. It’s too late now. So with almost zero confidence, she twisted the door knob and found Chansung, looking like he just jumped out of Page 24 GQ magazine, standing in his usual position. The only noticeable difference was he had a white teddy bear in his left hand.  “Oh. Hi. You look sharp.” she ignored the amount of shriek she just let out. Why did I just sound like a fangirl? Jesus Christ. “Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself.” he quickly replied after checking out Nanzy’s dirty shirt and baggy training pants. “Heheh. Save it. I know I look like a murderer. Come on in.” she swung the door open for him. Chansung awkwardly walked pass her and stood not too far from the door. “Well…have a seat, don’t just stand there. I was just about to fix a lunch for Greg.” she walked away from Chansung, still afraid to stare at the gorgeous being holding a stuff animal in her living room. “Oh, yeah. This…I bought for him.” Chansung raised his arm, showing the white bear to Nanzy in case she didn’t see it yet. “Thank you, that’s a very nice of you. Well, he’s over there. You could give it to him.” Nanzy shouted from the kitchen, directing Chansung to the dining table where a small head with a jet black hair moved around in his seat, mumbling some words. Chansung didn’t move, for some reason the sight of that chirpy 18 pounds of meat with short teeth terrified him more than a regular size grown up man. “Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Well…only if you don’t come too close.” Nanzy joked, feeding off Chansung’s fear. He finally walked closer and grabbed a chair in front of Greg’s. As soon as he sat down, Greg who was already wearing his baby bibs stopped his table-poking business and looked up. “Hi.” Chansung waved. “HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI.” Greg replied loudly and made Chansung winced. “He talks?” Chansung shouted, asking Nanzy. “Umm..not clearly, he said a few words. -Hi- was one of the ones he mastered. But yeah, sorry about the volume, hehe. He needs to be trained in that department.” Chansung looked back at Greg again who automatically reached out for the teddy bear as soon as he spotted it in Chansung’s hand. “You want it?” Chansung hid it behind his back, he saw Greg’s eyes followed it. “Yes???” Chansung nodded, waiting for a response. Quickly Greg nodded too while grumbling his protest for the disappearing of the bear. “Ta-da!” he brought it to Greg’s face and as a reward, the baby smiled at him. Chansung was stunned, the warm feeling in his heart grew bolder as he saw a pure innocent dimply smile from Greg. “He smiled at me. I think he recognized me.” he couldn’t hide his pride. “Greg smiles at everything that moves in front of his eyes, Chansung.” Nanzy hid her laugh while walking closer. “Oh.” he brushed off Nanzy’s comment in his head, insisting that Greg did purposely smile at him. “So…what brought you here today, besides the bear?” she sat on the other side of the table, holding a bowl full of a mesh looking food and small cut vegetables. “He can eat those?” Chansung pointed at the peas and carrots. “Oh yeah, of course. I boiled them so they’re soft. Greg eats everything, he’s an easy one.” Nanzy wanted to add “Just like you.” but she stopped before sounding too obvious. She placed the bowl in front of Greg, gave him the baby spoon and took the clean white teddy bear before it gets stained. Chansung was amazed that Greg can eat on his own. His chunky little legs swung back and forth, showing that he was happy. “Anyway, Nuna…I came here to tell you that…” Chansung waited until Nanzy’s attention was completely shifted from Greg to him. “Yes?” she asked. “I’m not ready yet.” “….for what? “For you and Greg.” Nanzy blinked, she gazed at him like he was speaking in riddles. And then she sighed and smiled. “Oh my, Chansung. Don’t worry about that. I’m not asking you for anything, really. Please don’t feel obligated.” “Err, maybe I chose the wrong words. But I said I’m not ready YET.” “I heard ya. What difference does it make?” “A whole lot. What I wanted to tell you is that I do plan to be there for you and him although I’m worried about my lack of knowledge. I don’t know how much I can help you. Hell, maybe I would end up burdening you instead, but please, give me a chance. I don’t want to miss out anymore. I want to be there when he blows his first candle. I want to see it. I want to witness it with you.” Nanzy slouched in her chair, couldn’t believe what she just heard. She was so sure that Chansung wouldn’t want to check in to this Crazy Inn where Nanzy and Greg had been living. His reaction yesterday confirmed her speculation and today she thought that small teddy bear would be his goodbye present before leaving for good. I guess I was wrong. He said he wanted to apologize to me back in Korea. But how would it change us anyway? We’re still the same person, living different lives. Only Greg holds us together, but then…would it be enough to actually HOLD us? Nanzy took her eyes off of Chansung and looked at her son instead. Would I be selfish if I said no? Would we be happier if it’s just the two of us? She took a moment to analyze everything, her life had been set and planned as she wanted. No place for Chansung. Above everything else that scared her the most, is how quickly she falls for Chansung. The effect he has on her. She was so afraid that by letting her guard down, she would get hurt once again. Only this time, it’s even more complicated because other than herself, it’s going to effect Greg too. Nanzy blinked and turned her head to Chansung whose attention had been for their little baby. She saw Chansung rubbed Greg’s chubby kicking leg and her heart was pierced once again. So finally, she knew what she was going to say, albeit the pain, self-denial and relinquishment she would soon be facing for the sake of their future. (to be continued)

Chapter 42 - The Angel in Us

Nanzy paid attention to Taecyeon who was updating them with the rest of the guys’ current activities. While listening, she intimately stole a glance of a man sitting across from her.

Several months ago she would look at Chansung and think of him as a young guy always cracks jokes whenever he can and whose mind is never set in one place. But this person in front of her today, is not the same person she knew back then. There is something different about him. Something darker and more mysterious that frightened Nanzy.

She scrutinized his face with his prominent jawlines, he seems thinner now with some faint facial hairs growing, creating dark shadows on his lower half of face. Chansung didn’t need to scare her off, just the way his eagle eyes pierced after she opened the door for him was enough to make Nanzy run to the corner every time Chansung moved one step closer towards her.

Nanzy was so absorbed in her own thought and neglected the fact that Taecyeon and Chansung had stopped talking. She saw Chansung turned his face and fixed his fiery eyes on her. A sudden chill zigzagged from her head down to her backbones.

Why is he looking at me? Did I do something wrong?

Then suddenly a noise came from the room on their right, Nanzy immediately cursed at herself for forgetting the most important thing in her life at that moment. She was so convened on wishing Chansung would leave before her little man wakes up from his sleep so she could have more time to think over things.

Chansung’s eyes widened and he got up.

“Wait, Chan…” Nanzy pulled his hand as he walked pass by her but it was useless since his big steps already reached the door. Taec also rose from his seat, his expression showed sympathy. He then hugged her shoulder while walking together following Chansung.

“Just tell him the truth.” Taec whispered, his hands were rubbing her arms, consoling her.

As soon as Nanzy went inside the room, her heart dropped to the floor. The view of Chansung standing in front of the baby’s cradle was almost a little too much for her to handle. She always wondered how Chansung would have reacted if he knew all along and sometimes she also imagined him with her baby although over a period of time, she had killed that imagination for the sake of her own sanity.

Nanzy waited for a moment before calling his name but Chansung ignored her. He kept staring at a moving living thing inside the small bed, the silence was killing her slowly.

“Is he mine?”  Chansung suddenly looked up and asked. If Chansung asked 9 months earlier, Nanzy would probably have gotten away by saying no. But as the baby grew older, he looked more and more like Chansung. His high nose, big round eyes, hell, even his healthy appetite is like Chansung’s. So Nanzy knew it was pointless to lie about it, even a blind person would say they share the same blood.

She gulped in air, then looked at Chansung square in the eye. “Yes” seemed to be the only word she could manage.

“How old is he?” Chansung asked again, his eyes went back to his mini-me.

“Next month he turns 1.” Nanzy answered.

“What’s his name?” his voice was fading as he looked away, observing every single thing in that room.

“Greg.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Gregory. I call him Greg.”

“What kind of name is Greg?” his eyebrows scrunched before turning to Nanzy who felt like she was being punished for naming her own son.

“I named him after my great great grandfather, Chan.” she inhaled, holding back her anger.

“So why didn’t you get in touch with me to let me know I was going to be a father?”

“I…..” Nanzy couldn’t answer him right away. She opened her mouth but no voice came out. Her memory rewind itself to the day she left Korea. That day she made two of the most important decisions in her life; to keep her baby and leave the guy who fathered him.

Nanzy didn’t have a family to come home to, so as soon as she landeed she went to Dylan who just moved in to a studio by herself. Nanzy lived with Dylan during her pregnancy although Aileen offered her place as well. Nanzy declined Ai’s help knowing Ai and her mom in fact needed that extra space in their apartment and she thought it was better that she remained distant from 2PM, considering Wooyoung visited Aileen multiple times.

Wooyoung found out about her pregnancy right after he accidentally bumped into her at a newspaper stand near SoHo. They sat down in a coffee shop and had a little chat that morning, she made him promise not to say anything to anyone.

“Are you sure you’re ok, Nuna?” Wooyoung asked before they parted. Nanzy nodded and said yes. It wasn’t just a casual yes, she said it with a confidence because she knew she was doing great and feeling great. The first couple of months Nanzy wasn’t sure if she made the right decision but the bigger her belly looked, the bigger her love for the baby had become and she knew she would be just fine, all by herself.

“Cat’s got your tongue?” Chansung broke the silence.

“I didn’t contact you because it wasn’t the right thing to do.” she answered after clearing her throat.

“We have a baby together. You and me. How is it not the right thing to do?”

“We just broke up, Chan. Don’t you remember?”

“Yes. But you could still talk to me, damnit woman, I have the rights to know!” he suddenly raged.

Nanzy saw Greg weeped from his baby bed, he turned around by himself and tried to stand up but ended up losing his balance. He then flinched and started crying when Chansung raised his tone. She figured Greg must have been startled by the sudden and infuriated voice. Nanzy walked towards them and softly pushed Chansung away with her body while reaching out for Greg. She lifted him and whispered in her soothing voice while rocking the teary-eyed baby in her arms.

“Shhh, that’s ok sweetie. He didn’t mean it.” She paused before looking up to Chansung who was watching them both, “Yah! You scared him.” her eyes were angrier than her voice.

“Sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t mean to.” he lowered his volume, the way he stood seemed so uncomfortable like a kid being in a party room full of grown up men.

“I…I’ll come back later. I don’t want to bother you.” he suddenly walked away towards the door where Taecyeon was and before Nanzy even had a time to say anything, the 2 big bodies were already gone.

I guess he hasn’t changed all that much, he still runs away when things get complicated. Nanzy scoffed and cupped the tiny head with her hand while singing a lullaby for her cranky little guy.

********************************************************************************
*****************

“Thanks, hyung, for letting me to stay with you.” Chansung sat on the single bed in the room that Taecyeon checked in since yesterday. The Inn was only 2 blocks away from Nanzy’s apartment, apparently Taecyeon always stayed here whenever he visited Nanzy.

“Of course, where else you would want to stay now that Nanzy’s got a new man.” Taec snickered.

“It’s not funny, ok? I have a baby, Hyung. A BABY. What am I supposed to do with a baby?” Chansung rested his back, both hands covering his eyes. He suddenly felt so tired and just wanted to crash until tomorrow.

“You’re right, sorry. But I still don’t forgive you for accusing me. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Yeah. My bad, Hyung. I guess I was just- “

“Jealous?” Taec stole his last word. “It’s ok. Admit it, Chan. You still care about her.”

“Yeah but, I don’t think I’m ready for this. Besides it seems like she doesn’t want me to be around.” Chansung sat up and took off his shoes.

Taecyeon lied down on his bed, resting his big arms behind his head. “You know, I’ve visited her several times and from what I saw, she had been doing a wonderful job being a single mom. She told me once that from that moment on her life was for Greg and she is true to her words. I don’t even think she ever dated anyone else after you.”

“Hyung, before we move on, just so I can get this thing off of my mind, would you mind telling me why you chose to keep contact with her even after she left?” Chansung turned his body at Taec, his face demanded some answers.

Taecyeon sighed, he knew Chansung had the rights to know. “You remember Jacqueline? Nanzy’s twin?”

Chansung nodded.

“Well I hooked up with her.”

“I knew that.”

“No, I meant right after you left for Army.”

“What? Why? I thought you said you disliked her.”

“Oh, I was disgusted.”

“…then why the heck?”

“Because I wanted her to pay.”

“….Huh?” Chansung seemed lost.

“Nanzy wrote a letter to Jin Young hyung saying that she intended to pay him back for the amount of money he had to bribe the person who blackmailed us with the pictures of me hanging around her apartment. I was suspicious because it was too much of a coincidence that Jackie was in town at that time and the fact that I made her really upset that night even added to it, I knew what that girl is capable of. So I arranged a meeting and in the end of the night I finally got the words out from her, she admitted it.”

“She blackmailed? For how much?”

“Well..let’s say it was enough to buy a condo in Kangnam.”

“Holy crap. How did you make her confess?”

“Alcohol. That’s one of two weaknesses of her.”

“What’s the other one?”

“Me.”

Chansung raised his left eyebrow, Taecyeon always bragged about how his ex liked him a lot but the guys ended up teasing him with the fact that he was the one who got dumped.

“So anyway, I taped her voice saying all those things and threatened her to return the money she received from Jin Young hyung or else I would go to the police.”

“Did she?”

“Oh yeah, she did. She knew she would go to jail right away if I hand out the tape. Honestly I was glad that she chose to give me the money otherwise this case would be huge and I don’t want those coverage.”

“I see.” Chansung paused and continued “But why did you do it, Hyung?”

“Regret. Guilt, perhaps? I created trouble and that was the only way I could pay for my mistake. Still, you can never fix a broken mirror, right? Like you and Nanzy, some things would never be the same anymore. The damage is done.”

Chansung silenced, his mind was still digesting all the new information he just received. “So, how did you find out about her…you know, pregnancy?”

“After taking care of those things, I called Nanzy. I was with my family in Boston for a vacation, she was still in New York at that time, working full time. I told her she didn’t have to worry about the money anymore, since I paid Jin Young hyung back. And then she cried on the phone, it was probably hormonal. But back then she didn’t tell me why she cried, only repeating how much she appreciated what I had done. I was so confused, my intuition told me something wasn’t right so then I flew to New York to see her. Imagine how surprise I was when I really did SEE her.”

“Was she healthy? Did she look different?” Chansung asked, wanting to know every detail.

“Oh, she was. She gained weight but I wouldn’t have it any other way, gotta eat for 2 people, you know?”

Chansung nodded, he blanked staring at the ceiling.

“Well, I don’t know what to say except thank you for doing all that, Hyung.” Chansung couldn’t look at Taec in the eye, afraid his hyung might able to read his other feeling towards the whole situation. He was grateful that Taecyeon took care of Nanzy, but at the same time he was a little hurt to know that it should have been him.”

“Don’t mention it, I just did what I thought was necessary. Besides Nanzy needed every penny she worked her butt off for her baby, so all and all it worked out.” Taecyeon turned his head to Chansung.

“Umm..then what happened to Jackie?” Chansung asked after another long pause.

“She left. Last thing I heard she was going to school somewhere in Europe, I don’t know…I don’t really care, as long as she doesn’t bother me, or Nanzy.”

Chansung mumbled in agreement.

“So what are you gonna do now?” Taecyeon spoke when Chansung didn’t say anything else.

“I’m going to talk to her tomorrow. I’m so tired now, my brain isn’t functioning very well.”

“Oh…well, I was about to ask you to hit the gym with me, I guess never mind then. I’ll go by myself. You’re gonna be here all day?”

Chansung nodded, his eyes were so heavy and all he wanted was to sleep. He heard Taecyeon’s footstep walking towards the door but before leaving Taec said,

“You know Chansung, she may never told me or would never admit it, but behind all those strong acts and brave smiles, she still does need someone in her life. Someone strong to be there for her. Someone who would fly thousands of miles just to check if she was ok. Someone whom she can rely on.”

Chansung shot his eyes open, thinking Taecyeon was talking about himself, but then the older guy continued,

“I would be lying if I say the thought of filling in that role never crossed my mind. She’s a good girl and Greg is so easy to love. But unfortunately, I knew more than anything, she needs someone whom she’s always loved. And that person wasn’t me. It was you.”

BAM. The door was slammed and Taecyeon left the room.

Chansung became even more confused now. He slowly faded into his own reverie, his eyes gave up on him and his body felt like jelly. The sight of Greg staring at him from inside his baby bed was still crystal clear in his murky head. He was sure his heart stopped beating for at least 2 seconds when Nanzy hugged the kid who looked like him.

He panicked. Even right now just thinking about it, Chansung felt like he wanted to run away. In spite of that, something else held his feet to the ground. The naked truth slapped him right in the face, he knew he is responsible for them.

But this is too much for me. Nanzy doesn’t want me, yet I feel like a jerk for leaving her.

With such a heavy head, he went to sleep and hoping the world would be nicer to him when he wakes up.

********************************************************************************
*****************

“No, Greg! Those are not toys, honey.” Nanzy saw Greg wobbled his way to reach her drawers and pulled her clothes out. She groaned faintly because she just finished folding and snugged them in there.

While holding on to the cabinet, Greg looked up to her and grinned, showing his 6 small baby teeth. He does that every time Nanzy scolds him, knowing she would give up the world as soon as she sees that smile.

This kid is just exactly like Chansung. Nanzy muttered in her head while lifting him up and away from the sharp corners. “Arghhhh since when you got this heavy, huh?” she groaned on his belly and tickled him while laying down on the bed. Greg let out a loud giggle and twitched around.

“Mumm…” his mini finger pointed at her face. He had started saying some random words, his first one was “Mommy” and Nanzy almost teared up when she heard it couple of weeks ago.

“Yes, me, mommy. And you are Greg. Greeeeg.” she gave him her proud smile and hoped to hear him saying his name. But instead, Greg only stared at her with his big eyes, couldn’t repeat what she just said.

Nanzy sighed, maybe Chansung was right…Greg is not an easy name. Ahhh why am I keep thinking about him? She was mad at herself.

Since yesterday morning visit from Chansung, Nanzy’s world has been turning upside down. She couldn’t even run her errand properly and whenever she looked at her son, she saw Chansung.

“Are you hungry? You wanna eat?” she quickly turned her attention to Greg who was ready to escape again. They walked to the kitchen right when her doorbell rang.

“Who is it?” she yelled out.

“It’s me.” a voice replied. It was Chansung’s.

Nanzy stopped her activity right there and then. She then brought Greg and put him in his baby seat before walking towards the door, she checked her reflection at the mirror hung on the wall.

Oh my gosh, I look like a mental patient.

She fixed her hair and pinched her cheek to bring a little color to her face. Looking at her reflection made her realize that there was nothing much she could do to repair the amount of mess she had all over. Her clothes were full of stains from the baby food Greg threw at her this morning and she hair never looked as tragic.

Crap. It’s too late now.

So with almost zero confidence, she twisted the door knob and found Chansung, looking like he just jumped out of Page 24 GQ magazine, standing in his usual position. The only noticeable difference was he had a white teddy bear in his left hand. 

“Oh. Hi. You look sharp.” she ignored the amount of shriek she just let out. Why did I just sound like a fangirl? Jesus Christ.

“Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself.” he quickly replied after checking out Nanzy’s dirty shirt and baggy training pants.

“Heheh. Save it. I know I look like a murderer. Come on in.” she swung the door open for him. Chansung awkwardly walked pass her and stood not too far from the door.

“Well…have a seat, don’t just stand there. I was just about to fix a lunch for Greg.” she walked away from Chansung, still afraid to stare at the gorgeous being holding a stuff animal in her living room.

“Oh, yeah. This…I bought for him.” Chansung raised his arm, showing the white bear to Nanzy in case she didn’t see it yet.

“Thank you, that’s a very nice of you. Well, he’s over there. You could give it to him.” Nanzy shouted from the kitchen, directing Chansung to the dining table where a small head with a jet black hair moved around in his seat, mumbling some words.

Chansung didn’t move, for some reason the sight of that chirpy 18 pounds of meat with short teeth terrified him more than a regular size grown up man.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Well…only if you don’t come too close.” Nanzy joked, feeding off Chansung’s fear.

He finally walked closer and grabbed a chair in front of Greg’s. As soon as he sat down, Greg who was already wearing his baby bibs stopped his table-poking business and looked up.

“Hi.” Chansung waved.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI.” Greg replied loudly and made Chansung winced.

“He talks?” Chansung shouted, asking Nanzy.

“Umm..not clearly, he said a few words. -Hi- was one of the ones he mastered. But yeah, sorry about the volume, hehe. He needs to be trained in that department.”

Chansung looked back at Greg again who automatically reached out for the teddy bear as soon as he spotted it in Chansung’s hand.

“You want it?” Chansung hid it behind his back, he saw Greg’s eyes followed it.

“Yes???” Chansung nodded, waiting for a response. Quickly Greg nodded too while grumbling his protest for the disappearing of the bear.

“Ta-da!” he brought it to Greg’s face and as a reward, the baby smiled at him. Chansung was stunned, the warm feeling in his heart grew bolder as he saw a pure innocent dimply smile from Greg.

“He smiled at me. I think he recognized me.” he couldn’t hide his pride.

“Greg smiles at everything that moves in front of his eyes, Chansung.” Nanzy hid her laugh while walking closer.

“Oh.” he brushed off Nanzy’s comment in his head, insisting that Greg did purposely smile at him.

“So…what brought you here today, besides the bear?” she sat on the other side of the table, holding a bowl full of a mesh looking food and small cut vegetables.

“He can eat those?” Chansung pointed at the peas and carrots.

“Oh yeah, of course. I boiled them so they’re soft. Greg eats everything, he’s an easy one.” Nanzy wanted to add “Just like you.” but she stopped before sounding too obvious. She placed the bowl in front of Greg, gave him the baby spoon and took the clean white teddy bear before it gets stained. Chansung was amazed that Greg can eat on his own. His chunky little legs swung back and forth, showing that he was happy.

“Anyway, Nuna…I came here to tell you that…” Chansung waited until Nanzy’s attention was completely shifted from Greg to him.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I’m not ready yet.”

“….for what?

“For you and Greg.”

Nanzy blinked, she gazed at him like he was speaking in riddles. And then she sighed and smiled.

“Oh my, Chansung. Don’t worry about that. I’m not asking you for anything, really. Please don’t feel obligated.”

“Err, maybe I chose the wrong words. But I said I’m not ready YET.”

“I heard ya. What difference does it make?”

“A whole lot. What I wanted to tell you is that I do plan to be there for you and him although I’m worried about my lack of knowledge. I don’t know how much I can help you. Hell, maybe I would end up burdening you instead, but please, give me a chance. I don’t want to miss out anymore. I want to be there when he blows his first candle. I want to see it. I want to witness it with you.”

Nanzy slouched in her chair, couldn’t believe what she just heard. She was so sure that Chansung wouldn’t want to check in to this Crazy Inn where Nanzy and Greg had been living. His reaction yesterday confirmed her speculation and today she thought that small teddy bear would be his goodbye present before leaving for good.

I guess I was wrong. He said he wanted to apologize to me back in Korea. But how would it change us anyway? We’re still the same person, living different lives. Only Greg holds us together, but then…would it be enough to actually HOLD us?

Nanzy took her eyes off of Chansung and looked at her son instead.

Would I be selfish if I said no? Would we be happier if it’s just the two of us?

She took a moment to analyze everything, her life had been set and planned as she wanted. No place for Chansung. Above everything else that scared her the most, is how quickly she falls for Chansung. The effect he has on her. She was so afraid that by letting her guard down, she would get hurt once again. Only this time, it’s even more complicated because other than herself, it’s going to effect Greg too.

Nanzy blinked and turned her head to Chansung whose attention had been for their little baby. She saw Chansung rubbed Greg’s chubby kicking leg and her heart was pierced once again. So finally, she knew what she was going to say, albeit the pain, self-denial and relinquishment she would soon be facing for the sake of their future.

(to be continued)

CHAPTER 41 - The Start of a New Life “Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung said his words with the best composure he could gather despite of his sweaty palms. His eyes were burning from exhaustion. There was no direct flight from Seoul to Burlington, the biggest city in Vermont where Nanzy apparently lives right now so he had to stay in LaGuardia airport in New York for 5 hours before flying here and now he realized he hadn’t slept for almost 48 hours. Chansung completed his military training which was revised and reduced from 21 months to 18 months. The Army force planned to reduce the duration of service starts from 2014 but they decided to give dispensation for all their current top of the class students as a reward. Chansung was one of them. His fellow soldiers were excited to see him serving with them, expecting a fun, goofy person like how he always was but they ended up disappointed when they found out that Chansung changed almost 180 degrees. He became quiet, reclusive and hardly talked to anybody. He only had one close friend, the guy from Pusan who was sleeping next to him. Only to that guy Chansung shared his personal life. “You’re broken hearted, aren’t you?” his friend asked him one night while laying flat on their uncomfortable mattress. “How do you know, hyung?” Chansung reluctantly answered, a little taken back from the straightforwardness of this stranger. “You’re too young to be here and you’re an idol. The only sensible reason why you joined is either because you are running away from something, or you’re just crazy.” That night Chansung made a new friend and that guy taught him many valuable things that sometimes made him embarrassed for having so much in his life and yet still complaining. This guy just recently lost his wife from cancer but for so many months he slept next to his bed, Chansung never once heard him questioning or complaining about his fate. Chansung remembered one particular night his friend finally shared a story about the wife and his last words were “If you have something precious in your life, hold on to them tightly. You’ll never know when they slip away.” That was the only time he spoke about her and turned out, it was their anniversary night. Life in the military was tough and the nights were the worst for him. Chansung tried to make the most of it and he worked hard just so he could get out of the service to be a better, more responsible person. He still thought about Nanzy, no matter how hard he tried not to. His friend was nice enough to not asking any further about the girl who scarred his heart but whenever he closed his eyes and rested his tired body every night, she popped out in his dream. Chansung thought being surrounded by guys doing hard physical activities, he could easily forget her. Unfortunately at the end of his service it was only to his honest conviction that he wanted to see her again. So right after his contract was terminated, he went straight to the airport and bought a ticket to America. He called Aileen on the way to the airport, asking where Nanzy was. Aileen called him crazy, but after a couple of minutes of begging and persuasion, she gave him the address. “Chansung, I’m sure Nanzy won’t appreciate that I’m saying this to you, but I have to warn you, everything is different now, I meant for her. She’s…moved on.” Aileen carefully chose her words. “What do you mean?” Chansung asked. “Umm, I have no right to say any further. You’re already on your way there, you’ll see.” she said goodbye and wished him good luck. So here he was, standing outside her door with his hand inside his jean’s pocket, staring at a girl he once fell in love and broke his heart. Nanzy looked almost as tired as him, but there was a flush on her cheeks which made her look alive. Her long hair was put up in a messy bun, displaying her long neck. Her almond shaped eyes were shot opened as soon as she saw him. Chansung knew right away, he still wanted her. “Ch-chansung? What are you doing here?” she stuttered while elongating her neck with her head looking around as if she was embarrassed to be seen in public with him. “I came here to see you. May I come in?” he forced a smile although his lips felt so dry. Nanzy glared at him and his travel bag. “Wait a minute, so you just got here? Where are you planning to stay?” she folded her arms without even moving her body. “Here. If you don’t mind.” he opened the door wider and made his way into her apartment. “Wait!!! CHANSUNG YOU CAN’T JUST BARGE IN MY- .” Nanzy protested but her small body was no match with Chansung’s big build. He was already inside before she could even finish her sentence. “Nice place. I heard you just moved in.” Chansung walked around, his heavy boots kept making huge thumps on her laminate wood floor. “Who told you?” she snarled after closing the door helplessly. “Someone’s close. So, how you been?” he put down his duffel bag on her new looking sofa and looked up only to see Nanzy abruptly run to the corner and close one of the box full of pictures that Chansung spotted earlier. He didn’t see clearly whose pictures were those, but from her gesture he assumed it was something she didn’t want to share with him. The thought of Nanzy still keeping something hidden from him brought back a bad memory and luckily she answered his question before his mind could trace any further. “Not bad. What about you, I heard you enlisted.” He chuckled. “Who told you?” “Someone’s close.” her lips formed a faint smile. The first smile he saw today. “Fair enough.” he smiled back. They both went silenced as the awkwardness started to creep in. Chansung finally cleared his throat before continuing, “You know, I’ve been giving a lot of thought about us and- “ “Wait, Chansung. Stop right there before you say anything else.” she put her hands up and released a heavy sigh. He stopped talking, his eyes were set on Nanzy who nervously played with her fingers, Chansung noticed she had been looking awfully uncomfortable around him, like she didn’t want him to be there. “Why?” “Because there is no us anymore, Chansung. Don’t do this to me, please. I’ve been doing so well all these years.” she explained. One hand on the waist, the other one was covering her forehead, looking frustrated. “You never thought about me?” he examined her face. “I’m not gonna lie and say no, because I did think of you. But it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t be together.” “I think about you too. All the time. I didn’t even know why I kept doing so even after you turned your back away from me at the airport.” he rested his hand on his waist while leaning his side on the sofa. “Airport? What airport?” her eyebrows scrunched. “When you left for New York, you forgot? I called out but you walked away after you saw me.” “Chan..I don’t know what you’re talking about. The last time I saw you was at the door in front of your apartment.” she looked at him like he was crazy. “You serious? So you didn’t see me…AT ALL ?!” Chansung’s big eyes were wide opened from disbelief. Nanzy shook her head. “You…went to the airport?” “Yes, I did. After I found out that you took off, I searched for you and headed there.” “But…why?” “To tell you that I was sorry.” he lowered his voice. “I saw you inside the glass door, I called out your name so many times until you finally turned your head towards me but then you kept walking.” “Ohhh…I’m sorry, Chansung, but I swear to God, I didn’t see you at all. If I did I would have…” her face showed pity, she didn’t finish her sentence realizing the truth she almost spilled. “Would you?” he quickly snatch the opportunity. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s complicated now, I can’t answer for the past.” “You make it complicated.” “No, Chan. You don’t understand.” “Try me. We both know we suck at communicating so maybe if you care to explain why, the situation would be a whole lot easier.” “I can’t have you in my life right now. I have moved on.” she suddenly dropped the bomb. Chansung was prepared for this because Aileen had warned him. But still, there was something he’d been wondering and he intended to get the answer now. “Do you still love me?” “Chan…” “Yes or no? Just say it. If you don’t love me anymore, I would grab my bag, walk out that door and out of your life forever. You can have my words for it.” he moved closer to her, badly wanted to wrap his arms around that fragile shoulders. “That’s not the reason.” “So you still love me but you don’t want to be with me. I don’t understand you, Nuna. Just tell me the truth, stop lying.” “Lying? Ohhhh God, this is why I hate arguing with you, these false accusation you kept throwing at me, it’s not fair!” Nanzy furiously stomped her way further from Chansung. “Then what is it then? Is there someone else?” Nanzy stood still nearby the kitchen counter in her silence, her head looked down to the floor. His heart was suddenly burnt with jealousy, his stupid head didn’t prepare to grasp the fact that by moving on, she meant to have someone else in her life. Chansung forgot that unlike him, Nanzy was free out in the real world and very opened to a chance of back to dating again. “Does he live here with you?” “Well…yes, but- “ “I would like to meet him.” Chansung braced himself and sat down although his mind was telling him to leave. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” “Don’t worry, I won’t cause any trouble. I just want to see who’s the lucky guy. So where is he? Introduce us.” Chansung looked around to the corridor with closed doors. Why are you doing this to yourself? Can’t you see she doesn’t want you anymore? Get out of there. His conscience was showing him the bitter reality but for some reason he didn’t want to listen. Something else told him to linger. His curiosity fought his common sense and won. He saw Nanzy was about to open her mouth and say something to him but suddenly the front door was burst opened and a male figure carrying two big brown shopping bags walked in, “Ahhh damn, Safeway was out of wheat bread so I went to-….. CHANSUNG ???” “…..HYUNG???” Chansung stood up immediately and thought his eyes must have been messing with his head until the person called out his name. ************************************************************************************************* “Are you ready, Aileen?” the nurse asked her while rubbing her arms lightly. “I am. Go ahead.” Aileen replied. Today is a very important for her because finally she would find out whether or not her vision comes back. The therapy she had undergone really took its toll on her and her mother, both physically and financially. Luckily Wooyoung was always ready at the end of the line to cheer her up although he couldn’t visit her that often from his busy schedule recently.  Wooyoung said this week he had to leave for Japan to host this new show he’d been doing. He said sorry for not being able to be there when Aileen finally have her operation done. She was disappointed but also excited for the opportunity Wooyoung got and she told him not to worry. “Mom, where are you?” Aileen called out. “I’m here, sweetheart. Grandma is here too.” her mom’s voice appeared, Aileen predicted she was at the end of her bed. Ever since she lost her vision, Aileen had mastered her other sense which allow her to estimate the distant between the person and herself, also her smelling capability had increased quite drastically. She could tell when Wooyoung sneakily entered her room and he was always pissed that Aileen called his name before he could even move an arm hair. “I’m going to slowly unwrap these bandage, ok? Close your eyes until I tell you to open.” Dr. Murphy’s voice appeared from her right. Aileen nodded as the fabric covering her eyes started to loosen. “Alright, now slowly open your eyes. If it hurts or you feel something is not right, you tell me right away.” her doctor tapped her shoulder. Aileen prayed, her heart was pounding and for once she felt so scared. What if it’s still dark? What if I’m blind for the rest of my life? Bracing herself, Aileen slowly open her lids. First, it felt like a tons of flash were shot at her, it was so bright. Aileen squinted and blinked couple of times. She was so happy to see something else other than darkness. And then she started to make a figure in front of her. Aileen thought it was her hair that was dangling in front of her face but as she kept blinking, her vision started to get better and at last she could see what was in front of her. It was a necklace. A necklace with white seashells pendants. The same necklace that she once returned to the person who gave it to her, just because she was too scared to accept the fact that she was good enough for him. Today, she saw it again for the first time after she handed it out to him. Back then Aileen couldn’t bare to see the sadness in his eyes and with the beautiful ocean of Hawaii as their witness, she left him hanging. They moved forward ever since and although it felt like a long time, Aileen sometimes wondered what he did with that necklace. She never asked him, nor he ever talked about it so Aileen assumed he threw it away right there and then, back with the other seashells on the shore. It seems like she was wrong this time around. Aileen saw a hand was holding the necklace and she knew right away who was the owner of that delicate hand. “Wooyoung? I-I thought…You-you said…” she lost her words. Her mind was blank. “Shhh. Before you continue, I have something to ask you.” Wooyoung smiled at her while still holding the necklace. Aileen stared back at him and she almost burst into tears. He looked so handsome, wearing an off-white long sleeves shirt, casual suits and a neat dress pants, his eyes were so endearing while he stepped closer to her. Wooyoung then grabbed her hands and asked, “Aileen Rivera. Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?” ************************************************************************************************* WHY IS THIS MY LIFE? Nanzy groaned in her head when she saw the door opened and Chansung stood up with his eyes almost poked out of his sockets. She bit her lips hard, expecting the third world war would break out any second now. “HYUNG???” Chansung roared. “Chansung, what are you doing here?” Ok Taecyeon screamed just as loud while closing the door with his legs since his hands were occupied with the grocery bags. “I can ask the same thing. Why are you…..OH WAIT. I get it now!” Chansung suddenly looked so furious, he turned his head to Nanzy. “You’re dating my hyung?” he scoffed. Oh here we go! Nanzy let out the biggest sigh in her life. “I should have known it all along, you two would hit it off as soon as I’m gone. I’m such a fool. Do you know the first time I told everyone that I was dating you, Taecyeon hyung was the only one who came to me and questioned me about my decision. Now tell me…” his blazing eyes went back to Taecyeon who was still standing right in front of the door, looking at both Nanzy and his angry magnae. “You already liked her then, didn’t you? That’s why you came back.” “Chansung, calm down. You’re not making any sense.” Nanzy spoke up, her eyes were worried. “Just answer the damn question, Hyung.” “Jesus Christ. This is just a big misunderstanding. I’m not dating Nanzy, Chansung. I’m not that kind of person, ok? I told you I respect both of you so much and I meant every words.” “Then…why are you here?” Chansung’s eyes were still diluted with anger but he had toned down his tone. “To visit her. I came home to my family in Boston last week and I figured since Vermont is only 2 hours away drive, why not visit Nanzy and her- ” Taecyeon stopped as soon as he saw Nanzy signaling him to shut up with her facial expression. “Boyfriend, yes I know that already. She told me already that she’s seeing someone else.” “Excuse me, SHE is standing here.” Nanzy wasn’t happy that Chansung kept talking as if she wasn’t around. “Uhhh…you know what, let me put these down and we’ll talk. I’m sure you have a lot of things to catch up, RIGHT?” he stressed his words and condemned her with his eyes. He walked to the kitchen and left the grocery bags on the counter. “How come you’re here, Chan? Aren’t you supposed to be in training still?” Taecyeon joined the other two in the living room. He purposely kept his distance with Chansung in case the magnae got crazy again. As weird as it is, Chansung didn’t contact any of his hyung while in training. No one had any idea what happened to him, aside from the news whose journalist purposely went to his camp to do a coverage on him. Nanzy had been so tensed, she didn’t even realize it was actually less than 2 years since Chansung supposedly joined in the service. Now that Taecyeon brought it up, she also realized Chansung never spoke with his hyung, at least not to Taecyeon. She never stopped blaming herself for ruining the relationship between Taec and Chansung. Taecyeon always reminded her that it wasn’t her fault and she shouldn’t have felt bad at all, but deep inside she knew if she was more careful none of it would have happened. That’s why today she felt like she just fell into the same hole when Chansung showed up right at the same time that Taecyeon was in town. Me against the world, right? the little devil inside her head mocked her. “I was let go earlier coz I did well in my class. How are you, hyung? How are others?” Chansung awkwardly answered. He even twitched on his seat. “All good. I don’t know if you’ve heard but Junsu hyung’s single had been on the top of the chart since 3 weeks ago. Junho is graduating next month…yeah, I know, right? Finally.” Taecyeon scoffed. Chansung scoffed too, a smile bloomed showing that he agreed with Taecyeon’s little remark. “What about Jaebum hyung?” “He’s doing well too, still with Bekah. Yeah, they’re dating.” Taecyeon confirmed after seeing Chansung reacted out of surprise. “They’re like the Brangelina of Korea now. Everyone talks about them.” Nanzy listened, honestly she didn’t follow the news about them at all, half the reason was because she missed being with every single one of them. She had the best job and it killed her to see that she was no longer a part of these guys. The other half was because she was afraid she would stumble upon the news about Chansung. “Khun is filming his 5th drama, that kid was never home. Wooyoung has the most MC job than any idol out there. He is practically everywhere. I’m so sick of seeing his face, seriously.” Right after Taecyeon finished his sentence, a noise came from the corridor where the rooms were. Unfortunately none of them was speaking so they could hear it crystal clear. At first Chansung thought he misheard it, but then he looked at Nanzy and she looked like someone in the movie who just saw a ghost. She was pale white. “Is that….?” Chansung stood up and walked towards Nanzy. “Wait, Chan.” she pulled his hand when Chansung walked pass by her, closer to the noise. As he reached the second door on the left, the noise stopped and he knew it came from there. Opening the door, Chansung didn’t know what to expect but his eyes were quickly greeted by a calming shade of blues painted on the wall. A big white clouds filled the whole wall on his left, followed by a red airplane and it’s pilot and a coloful rainbow right below it. His eyes adjusted to the foreign stuffs on the floor. The toys, the short-legged tables. He stepped inside and finally saw a small bed with guards around it. A baby cradle. His mind was immediately turning upside down and a chill crept on his backbone. He was scared shitless but his feet betrayed him and walked closer to see what was inside it. He gulped. He heard Nanzy showed up at the door behind him, calling his name. But right now, his only focus was for the creature laying down in the box with a pair of big eyes were looking back at him. Chansung saw pool of tears in the corner, his chubby cheeks were wet, showing that he had been crying for a while now. This little person reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t make out who it was. His head was busy asking questions. Chansung turned his head to Nanzy who waited with a concern reflected in her eyes. “Is…is he mine?” (to be continued) ************************************************************************************************* CHAPTER 41 - The Start of a New Life “Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung said his words with the best composure he could gather despite of his sweaty palms. His eyes were burning from exhaustion. There was no direct flight from Seoul to Burlington, the biggest city in Vermont where Nanzy apparently lives right now so he had to stay in LaGuardia airport in New York for 5 hours before flying here and now he realized he hadn’t slept for almost 48 hours. Chansung completed his military training which was revised and reduced from 21 months to 18 months. The Army force planned to reduce the duration of service starts from 2014 but they decided to give dispensation for all their current top of the class students as a reward. Chansung was one of them. His fellow soldiers were excited to see him serving with them, expecting a fun, goofy person like how he always was but they ended up disappointed when they found out that Chansung changed almost 180 degrees. He became quiet, reclusive and hardly talked to anybody. He only had one close friend, the guy from Pusan who was sleeping next to him. Only to that guy Chansung shared his personal life. “You’re broken hearted, aren’t you?” his friend asked him one night while laying flat on their uncomfortable mattress. “How do you know, hyung?” Chansung reluctantly answered, a little taken back from the straightforwardness of this stranger. “You’re too young to be here and you’re an idol. The only sensible reason why you joined is either because you are running away from something, or you’re just crazy.” That night Chansung made a new friend and that guy taught him many valuable things that sometimes made him embarrassed for having so much in his life and yet still complaining. This guy just recently lost his wife from cancer but for so many months he slept next to his bed, Chansung never once heard him questioning or complaining about his fate. Chansung remembered one particular night his friend finally shared a story about the wife and his last words were “If you have something precious in your life, hold on to them tightly. You’ll never know when they slip away.” That was the only time he spoke about her and turned out, it was their anniversary night. Life in the military was tough and the nights were the worst for him. Chansung tried to make the most of it and he worked hard just so he could get out of the service to be a better, more responsible person. He still thought about Nanzy, no matter how hard he tried not to. His friend was nice enough to not asking any further about the girl who scarred his heart but whenever he closed his eyes and rested his tired body every night, she popped out in his dream. Chansung thought being surrounded by guys doing hard physical activities, he could easily forget her. Unfortunately at the end of his service it was only to his honest conviction that he wanted to see her again. So right after his contract was terminated, he went straight to the airport and bought a ticket to America. He called Aileen on the way to the airport, asking where Nanzy was. Aileen called him crazy, but after a couple of minutes of begging and persuasion, she gave him the address. “Chansung, I’m sure Nanzy won’t appreciate that I’m saying this to you, but I have to warn you, everything is different now, I meant for her. She’s…moved on.” Aileen carefully chose her words. “What do you mean?” Chansung asked. “Umm, I have no right to say any further. You’re already on your way there, you’ll see.” she said goodbye and wished him good luck. So here he was, standing outside her door with his hand inside his jean’s pocket, staring at a girl he once fell in love and broke his heart. Nanzy looked almost as tired as him, but there was a flush on her cheeks which made her look alive. Her long hair was put up in a messy bun, displaying her long neck. Her almond shaped eyes were shot opened as soon as she saw him. Chansung knew right away, he still wanted her. “Ch-chansung? What are you doing here?” she stuttered while elongating her neck with her head looking around as if she was embarrassed to be seen in public with him. “I came here to see you. May I come in?” he forced a smile although his lips felt so dry. Nanzy glared at him and his travel bag. “Wait a minute, so you just got here? Where are you planning to stay?” she folded her arms without even moving her body. “Here. If you don’t mind.” he opened the door wider and made his way into her apartment. “Wait!!! CHANSUNG YOU CAN’T JUST BARGE IN MY- .” Nanzy protested but her small body was no match with Chansung’s big build. He was already inside before she could even finish her sentence. “Nice place. I heard you just moved in.” Chansung walked around, his heavy boots kept making huge thumps on her laminate wood floor. “Who told you?” she snarled after closing the door helplessly. “Someone’s close. So, how you been?” he put down his duffel bag on her new looking sofa and looked up only to see Nanzy abruptly run to the corner and close one of the box full of pictures that Chansung spotted earlier. He didn’t see clearly whose pictures were those, but from her gesture he assumed it was something she didn’t want to share with him. The thought of Nanzy still keeping something hidden from him brought back a bad memory and luckily she answered his question before his mind could trace any further. “Not bad. What about you, I heard you enlisted.” He chuckled. “Who told you?” “Someone’s close.” her lips formed a faint smile. The first smile he saw today. “Fair enough.” he smiled back. They both went silenced as the awkwardness started to creep in. Chansung finally cleared his throat before continuing, “You know, I’ve been giving a lot of thought about us and- “ “Wait, Chansung. Stop right there before you say anything else.” she put her hands up and released a heavy sigh. He stopped talking, his eyes were set on Nanzy who nervously played with her fingers, Chansung noticed she had been looking awfully uncomfortable around him, like she didn’t want him to be there. “Why?” “Because there is no us anymore, Chansung. Don’t do this to me, please. I’ve been doing so well all these years.” she explained. One hand on the waist, the other one was covering her forehead, looking frustrated. “You never thought about me?” he examined her face. “I’m not gonna lie and say no, because I did think of you. But it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t be together.” “I think about you too. All the time. I didn’t even know why I kept doing so even after you turned your back away from me at the airport.” he rested his hand on his waist while leaning his side on the sofa. “Airport? What airport?” her eyebrows scrunched. “When you left for New York, you forgot? I called out but you walked away after you saw me.” “Chan..I don’t know what you’re talking about. The last time I saw you was at the door in front of your apartment.” she looked at him like he was crazy. “You serious? So you didn’t see me…AT ALL ?!” Chansung’s big eyes were wide opened from disbelief. Nanzy shook her head. “You…went to the airport?” “Yes, I did. After I found out that you took off, I searched for you and headed there.” “But…why?” “To tell you that I was sorry.” he lowered his voice. “I saw you inside the glass door, I called out your name so many times until you finally turned your head towards me but then you kept walking.” “Ohhh…I’m sorry, Chansung, but I swear to God, I didn’t see you at all. If I did I would have…” her face showed pity, she didn’t finish her sentence realizing the truth she almost spilled. “Would you?” he quickly snatch the opportunity. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s complicated now, I can’t answer for the past.” “You make it complicated.” “No, Chan. You don’t understand.” “Try me. We both know we suck at communicating so maybe if you care to explain why, the situation would be a whole lot easier.” “I can’t have you in my life right now. I have moved on.” she suddenly dropped the bomb. Chansung was prepared for this because Aileen had warned him. But still, there was something he’d been wondering and he intended to get the answer now. “Do you still love me?” “Chan…” “Yes or no? Just say it. If you don’t love me anymore, I would grab my bag, walk out that door and out of your life forever. You can have my words for it.” he moved closer to her, badly wanted to wrap his arms around that fragile shoulders. “That’s not the reason.” “So you still love me but you don’t want to be with me. I don’t understand you, Nuna. Just tell me the truth, stop lying.” “Lying? Ohhhh God, this is why I hate arguing with you, these false accusation you kept throwing at me, it’s not fair!” Nanzy furiously stomped her way further from Chansung. “Then what is it then? Is there someone else?” Nanzy stood still nearby the kitchen counter in her silence, her head looked down to the floor. His heart was suddenly burnt with jealousy, his stupid head didn’t prepare to grasp the fact that by moving on, she meant to have someone else in her life. Chansung forgot that unlike him, Nanzy was free out in the real world and very opened to a chance of back to dating again. “Does he live here with you?” “Well…yes, but- “ “I would like to meet him.” Chansung braced himself and sat down although his mind was telling him to leave. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” “Don’t worry, I won’t cause any trouble. I just want to see who’s the lucky guy. So where is he? Introduce us.” Chansung looked around to the corridor with closed doors. Why are you doing this to yourself? Can’t you see she doesn’t want you anymore? Get out of there. His conscience was showing him the bitter reality but for some reason he didn’t want to listen. Something else told him to linger. His curiosity fought his common sense and won. He saw Nanzy was about to open her mouth and say something to him but suddenly the front door was burst opened and a male figure carrying two big brown shopping bags walked in, “Ahhh damn, Safeway was out of wheat bread so I went to-….. CHANSUNG ???” “…..HYUNG???” Chansung stood up immediately and thought his eyes must have been messing with his head until the person called out his name. ************************************************************************************************* “Are you ready, Aileen?” the nurse asked her while rubbing her arms lightly. “I am. Go ahead.” Aileen replied. Today is a very important for her because finally she would find out whether or not her vision comes back. The therapy she had undergone really took its toll on her and her mother, both physically and financially. Luckily Wooyoung was always ready at the end of the line to cheer her up although he couldn’t visit her that often from his busy schedule recently.  Wooyoung said this week he had to leave for Japan to host this new show he’d been doing. He said sorry for not being able to be there when Aileen finally have her operation done. She was disappointed but also excited for the opportunity Wooyoung got and she told him not to worry. “Mom, where are you?” Aileen called out. “I’m here, sweetheart. Grandma is here too.” her mom’s voice appeared, Aileen predicted she was at the end of her bed. Ever since she lost her vision, Aileen had mastered her other sense which allow her to estimate the distant between the person and herself, also her smelling capability had increased quite drastically. She could tell when Wooyoung sneakily entered her room and he was always pissed that Aileen called his name before he could even move an arm hair. “I’m going to slowly unwrap these bandage, ok? Close your eyes until I tell you to open.” Dr. Murphy’s voice appeared from her right. Aileen nodded as the fabric covering her eyes started to loosen. “Alright, now slowly open your eyes. If it hurts or you feel something is not right, you tell me right away.” her doctor tapped her shoulder. Aileen prayed, her heart was pounding and for once she felt so scared. What if it’s still dark? What if I’m blind for the rest of my life? Bracing herself, Aileen slowly open her lids. First, it felt like a tons of flash were shot at her, it was so bright. Aileen squinted and blinked couple of times. She was so happy to see something else other than darkness. And then she started to make a figure in front of her. Aileen thought it was her hair that was dangling in front of her face but as she kept blinking, her vision started to get better and at last she could see what was in front of her. It was a necklace. A necklace with white seashells pendants. The same necklace that she once returned to the person who gave it to her, just because she was too scared to accept the fact that she was good enough for him. Today, she saw it again for the first time after she handed it out to him. Back then Aileen couldn’t bare to see the sadness in his eyes and with the beautiful ocean of Hawaii as their witness, she left him hanging. They moved forward ever since and although it felt like a long time, Aileen sometimes wondered what he did with that necklace. She never asked him, nor he ever talked about it so Aileen assumed he threw it away right there and then, back with the other seashells on the shore. It seems like she was wrong this time around. Aileen saw a hand was holding the necklace and she knew right away who was the owner of that delicate hand. “Wooyoung? I-I thought…You-you said…” she lost her words. Her mind was blank. “Shhh. Before you continue, I have something to ask you.” Wooyoung smiled at her while still holding the necklace. Aileen stared back at him and she almost burst into tears. He looked so handsome, wearing an off-white long sleeves shirt, casual suits and a neat dress pants, his eyes were so endearing while he stepped closer to her. Wooyoung then grabbed her hands and asked, “Aileen Rivera. Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?” ************************************************************************************************* WHY IS THIS MY LIFE? Nanzy groaned in her head when she saw the door opened and Chansung stood up with his eyes almost poked out of his sockets. She bit her lips hard, expecting the third world war would break out any second now. “HYUNG???” Chansung roared. “Chansung, what are you doing here?” Ok Taecyeon screamed just as loud while closing the door with his legs since his hands were occupied with the grocery bags. “I can ask the same thing. Why are you…..OH WAIT. I get it now!” Chansung suddenly looked so furious, he turned his head to Nanzy. “You’re dating my hyung?” he scoffed. Oh here we go! Nanzy let out the biggest sigh in her life. “I should have known it all along, you two would hit it off as soon as I’m gone. I’m such a fool. Do you know the first time I told everyone that I was dating you, Taecyeon hyung was the only one who came to me and questioned me about my decision. Now tell me…” his blazing eyes went back to Taecyeon who was still standing right in front of the door, looking at both Nanzy and his angry magnae. “You already liked her then, didn’t you? That’s why you came back.” “Chansung, calm down. You’re not making any sense.” Nanzy spoke up, her eyes were worried. “Just answer the damn question, Hyung.” “Jesus Christ. This is just a big misunderstanding. I’m not dating Nanzy, Chansung. I’m not that kind of person, ok? I told you I respect both of you so much and I meant every words.” “Then…why are you here?” Chansung’s eyes were still diluted with anger but he had toned down his tone. “To visit her. I came home to my family in Boston last week and I figured since Vermont is only 2 hours away drive, why not visit Nanzy and her- ” Taecyeon stopped as soon as he saw Nanzy signaling him to shut up with her facial expression. “Boyfriend, yes I know that already. She told me already that she’s seeing someone else.” “Excuse me, SHE is standing here.” Nanzy wasn’t happy that Chansung kept talking as if she wasn’t around. “Uhhh…you know what, let me put these down and we’ll talk. I’m sure you have a lot of things to catch up, RIGHT?” he stressed his words and condemned her with his eyes. He walked to the kitchen and left the grocery bags on the counter. “How come you’re here, Chan? Aren’t you supposed to be in training still?” Taecyeon joined the other two in the living room. He purposely kept his distance with Chansung in case the magnae got crazy again. As weird as it is, Chansung didn’t contact any of his hyung while in training. No one had any idea what happened to him, aside from the news whose journalist purposely went to his camp to do a coverage on him. Nanzy had been so tensed, she didn’t even realize it was actually less than 2 years since Chansung supposedly joined in the service. Now that Taecyeon brought it up, she also realized Chansung never spoke with his hyung, at least not to Taecyeon. She never stopped blaming herself for ruining the relationship between Taec and Chansung. Taecyeon always reminded her that it wasn’t her fault and she shouldn’t have felt bad at all, but deep inside she knew if she was more careful none of it would have happened. That’s why today she felt like she just fell into the same hole when Chansung showed up right at the same time that Taecyeon was in town. Me against the world, right? the little devil inside her head mocked her. “I was let go earlier coz I did well in my class. How are you, hyung? How are others?” Chansung awkwardly answered. He even twitched on his seat. “All good. I don’t know if you’ve heard but Junsu hyung’s single had been on the top of the chart since 3 weeks ago. Junho is graduating next month…yeah, I know, right? Finally.” Taecyeon scoffed. Chansung scoffed too, a smile bloomed showing that he agreed with Taecyeon’s little remark. “What about Jaebum hyung?” “He’s doing well too, still with Bekah. Yeah, they’re dating.” Taecyeon confirmed after seeing Chansung reacted out of surprise. “They’re like the Brangelina of Korea now. Everyone talks about them.” Nanzy listened, honestly she didn’t follow the news about them at all, half the reason was because she missed being with every single one of them. She had the best job and it killed her to see that she was no longer a part of these guys. The other half was because she was afraid she would stumble upon the news about Chansung. “Khun is filming his 5th drama, that kid was never home. Wooyoung has the most MC job than any idol out there. He is practically everywhere. I’m so sick of seeing his face, seriously.” Right after Taecyeon finished his sentence, a noise came from the corridor where the rooms were. Unfortunately none of them was speaking so they could hear it crystal clear. At first Chansung thought he misheard it, but then he looked at Nanzy and she looked like someone in the movie who just saw a ghost. She was pale white. “Is that….?” Chansung stood up and walked towards Nanzy. “Wait, Chan.” she pulled his hand when Chansung walked pass by her, closer to the noise. As he reached the second door on the left, the noise stopped and he knew it came from there. Opening the door, Chansung didn’t know what to expect but his eyes were quickly greeted by a calming shade of blues painted on the wall. A big white clouds filled the whole wall on his left, followed by a red airplane and it’s pilot and a coloful rainbow right below it. His eyes adjusted to the foreign stuffs on the floor. The toys, the short-legged tables. He stepped inside and finally saw a small bed with guards around it. A baby cradle. His mind was immediately turning upside down and a chill crept on his backbone. He was scared shitless but his feet betrayed him and walked closer to see what was inside it. He gulped. He heard Nanzy showed up at the door behind him, calling his name. But right now, his only focus was for the creature laying down in the box with a pair of big eyes were looking back at him. Chansung saw pool of tears in the corner, his chubby cheeks were wet, showing that he had been crying for a while now. This little person reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t make out who it was. His head was busy asking questions. Chansung turned his head to Nanzy who waited with a concern reflected in her eyes. “Is…is he mine?” (to be continued) *************************************************************************************************

CHAPTER 41 - The Start of a New Life

“Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung said his words with the best composure he could gather despite of his sweaty palms.

His eyes were burning from exhaustion. There was no direct flight from Seoul to Burlington, the biggest city in Vermont where Nanzy apparently lives right now so he had to stay in LaGuardia airport in New York for 5 hours before flying here and now he realized he hadn’t slept for almost 48 hours.

Chansung completed his military training which was revised and reduced from 21 months to 18 months. The Army force planned to reduce the duration of service starts from 2014 but they decided to give dispensation for all their current top of the class students as a reward. Chansung was one of them. His fellow soldiers were excited to see him serving with them, expecting a fun, goofy person like how he always was but they ended up disappointed when they found out that Chansung changed almost 180 degrees. He became quiet, reclusive and hardly talked to anybody. He only had one close friend, the guy from Pusan who was sleeping next to him. Only to that guy Chansung shared his personal life.

“You’re broken hearted, aren’t you?” his friend asked him one night while laying flat on their uncomfortable mattress.

“How do you know, hyung?” Chansung reluctantly answered, a little taken back from the straightforwardness of this stranger.

“You’re too young to be here and you’re an idol. The only sensible reason why you joined is either because you are running away from something, or you’re just crazy.”

That night Chansung made a new friend and that guy taught him many valuable things that sometimes made him embarrassed for having so much in his life and yet still complaining. This guy just recently lost his wife from cancer but for so many months he slept next to his bed, Chansung never once heard him questioning or complaining about his fate.

Chansung remembered one particular night his friend finally shared a story about the wife and his last words were “If you have something precious in your life, hold on to them tightly. You’ll never know when they slip away.”

That was the only time he spoke about her and turned out, it was their anniversary night.

Life in the military was tough and the nights were the worst for him. Chansung tried to make the most of it and he worked hard just so he could get out of the service to be a better, more responsible person. He still thought about Nanzy, no matter how hard he tried not to. His friend was nice enough to not asking any further about the girl who scarred his heart but whenever he closed his eyes and rested his tired body every night, she popped out in his dream. Chansung thought being surrounded by guys doing hard physical activities, he could easily forget her. Unfortunately at the end of his service it was only to his honest conviction that he wanted to see her again.

So right after his contract was terminated, he went straight to the airport and bought a ticket to America. He called Aileen on the way to the airport, asking where Nanzy was. Aileen called him crazy, but after a couple of minutes of begging and persuasion, she gave him the address.

“Chansung, I’m sure Nanzy won’t appreciate that I’m saying this to you, but I have to warn you, everything is different now, I meant for her. She’s…moved on.” Aileen carefully chose her words.

“What do you mean?” Chansung asked.

“Umm, I have no right to say any further. You’re already on your way there, you’ll see.” she said goodbye and wished him good luck.

So here he was, standing outside her door with his hand inside his jean’s pocket, staring at a girl he once fell in love and broke his heart. Nanzy looked almost as tired as him, but there was a flush on her cheeks which made her look alive. Her long hair was put up in a messy bun, displaying her long neck. Her almond shaped eyes were shot opened as soon as she saw him. Chansung knew right away, he still wanted her.

“Ch-chansung? What are you doing here?” she stuttered while elongating her neck with her head looking around as if she was embarrassed to be seen in public with him.

“I came here to see you. May I come in?” he forced a smile although his lips felt so dry.

Nanzy glared at him and his travel bag. “Wait a minute, so you just got here? Where are you planning to stay?” she folded her arms without even moving her body.

“Here. If you don’t mind.” he opened the door wider and made his way into her apartment.

“Wait!!! CHANSUNG YOU CAN’T JUST BARGE IN MY- .” Nanzy protested but her small body was no match with Chansung’s big build. He was already inside before she could even finish her sentence.

“Nice place. I heard you just moved in.” Chansung walked around, his heavy boots kept making huge thumps on her laminate wood floor.

“Who told you?” she snarled after closing the door helplessly.

“Someone’s close. So, how you been?” he put down his duffel bag on her new looking sofa and looked up only to see Nanzy abruptly run to the corner and close one of the box full of pictures that Chansung spotted earlier. He didn’t see clearly whose pictures were those, but from her gesture he assumed it was something she didn’t want to share with him.

The thought of Nanzy still keeping something hidden from him brought back a bad memory and luckily she answered his question before his mind could trace any further.

“Not bad. What about you, I heard you enlisted.”

He chuckled. “Who told you?”

“Someone’s close.” her lips formed a faint smile. The first smile he saw today.

“Fair enough.” he smiled back. They both went silenced as the awkwardness started to creep in. Chansung finally cleared his throat before continuing, “You know, I’ve been giving a lot of thought about us and- “

“Wait, Chansung. Stop right there before you say anything else.” she put her hands up and released a heavy sigh.

He stopped talking, his eyes were set on Nanzy who nervously played with her fingers, Chansung noticed she had been looking awfully uncomfortable around him, like she didn’t want him to be there.

“Why?”

“Because there is no us anymore, Chansung. Don’t do this to me, please. I’ve been doing so well all these years.” she explained. One hand on the waist, the other one was covering her forehead, looking frustrated.

“You never thought about me?” he examined her face.

“I’m not gonna lie and say no, because I did think of you. But it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t be together.”

“I think about you too. All the time. I didn’t even know why I kept doing so even after you turned your back away from me at the airport.” he rested his hand on his waist while leaning his side on the sofa.

“Airport? What airport?” her eyebrows scrunched.

“When you left for New York, you forgot? I called out but you walked away after you saw me.”

“Chan..I don’t know what you’re talking about. The last time I saw you was at the door in front of your apartment.” she looked at him like he was crazy.

“You serious? So you didn’t see me…AT ALL ?!” Chansung’s big eyes were wide opened from disbelief.

Nanzy shook her head. “You…went to the airport?”

“Yes, I did. After I found out that you took off, I searched for you and headed there.”

“But…why?”

“To tell you that I was sorry.” he lowered his voice. “I saw you inside the glass door, I called out your name so many times until you finally turned your head towards me but then you kept walking.”

“Ohhh…I’m sorry, Chansung, but I swear to God, I didn’t see you at all. If I did I would have…” her face showed pity, she didn’t finish her sentence realizing the truth she almost spilled.

“Would you?” he quickly snatch the opportunity.

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s complicated now, I can’t answer for the past.”

“You make it complicated.”

“No, Chan. You don’t understand.”

“Try me. We both know we suck at communicating so maybe if you care to explain why, the situation would be a whole lot easier.”

“I can’t have you in my life right now. I have moved on.” she suddenly dropped the bomb. Chansung was prepared for this because Aileen had warned him. But still, there was something he’d been wondering and he intended to get the answer now.

“Do you still love me?”

“Chan…”

“Yes or no? Just say it. If you don’t love me anymore, I would grab my bag, walk out that door and out of your life forever. You can have my words for it.” he moved closer to her, badly wanted to wrap his arms around that fragile shoulders.

“That’s not the reason.”

“So you still love me but you don’t want to be with me. I don’t understand you, Nuna. Just tell me the truth, stop lying.”

“Lying? Ohhhh God, this is why I hate arguing with you, these false accusation you kept throwing at me, it’s not fair!” Nanzy furiously stomped her way further from Chansung.

“Then what is it then? Is there someone else?”

Nanzy stood still nearby the kitchen counter in her silence, her head looked down to the floor.

His heart was suddenly burnt with jealousy, his stupid head didn’t prepare to grasp the fact that by moving on, she meant to have someone else in her life. Chansung forgot that unlike him, Nanzy was free out in the real world and very opened to a chance of back to dating again.

“Does he live here with you?”

“Well…yes, but- “

“I would like to meet him.” Chansung braced himself and sat down although his mind was telling him to leave.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t cause any trouble. I just want to see who’s the lucky guy. So where is he? Introduce us.” Chansung looked around to the corridor with closed doors.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Can’t you see she doesn’t want you anymore? Get out of there. His conscience was showing him the bitter reality but for some reason he didn’t want to listen. Something else told him to linger. His curiosity fought his common sense and won.

He saw Nanzy was about to open her mouth and say something to him but suddenly the front door was burst opened and a male figure carrying two big brown shopping bags walked in,

“Ahhh damn, Safeway was out of wheat bread so I went to-….. CHANSUNG ???”

“…..HYUNG???” Chansung stood up immediately and thought his eyes must have been messing with his head until the person called out his name.

********************************************************************************
*****************

“Are you ready, Aileen?” the nurse asked her while rubbing her arms lightly.

“I am. Go ahead.” Aileen replied. Today is a very important for her because finally she would find out whether or not her vision comes back. The therapy she had undergone really took its toll on her and her mother, both physically and financially. Luckily Wooyoung was always ready at the end of the line to cheer her up although he couldn’t visit her that often from his busy schedule recently. 

Wooyoung said this week he had to leave for Japan to host this new show he’d been doing. He said sorry for not being able to be there when Aileen finally have her operation done. She was disappointed but also excited for the opportunity Wooyoung got and she told him not to worry.

“Mom, where are you?” Aileen called out.

“I’m here, sweetheart. Grandma is here too.” her mom’s voice appeared, Aileen predicted she was at the end of her bed. Ever since she lost her vision, Aileen had mastered her other sense which allow her to estimate the distant between the person and herself, also her smelling capability had increased quite drastically. She could tell when Wooyoung sneakily entered her room and he was always pissed that Aileen called his name before he could even move an arm hair.

“I’m going to slowly unwrap these bandage, ok? Close your eyes until I tell you to open.” Dr. Murphy’s voice appeared from her right. Aileen nodded as the fabric covering her eyes started to loosen.

“Alright, now slowly open your eyes. If it hurts or you feel something is not right, you tell me right away.” her doctor tapped her shoulder. Aileen prayed, her heart was pounding and for once she felt so scared.

What if it’s still dark? What if I’m blind for the rest of my life?

Bracing herself, Aileen slowly open her lids. First, it felt like a tons of flash were shot at her, it was so bright. Aileen squinted and blinked couple of times. She was so happy to see something else other than darkness. And then she started to make a figure in front of her. Aileen thought it was her hair that was dangling in front of her face but as she kept blinking, her vision started to get better and at last she could see what was in front of her.

It was a necklace. A necklace with white seashells pendants. The same necklace that she once returned to the person who gave it to her, just because she was too scared to accept the fact that she was good enough for him.

Today, she saw it again for the first time after she handed it out to him. Back then Aileen couldn’t bare to see the sadness in his eyes and with the beautiful ocean of Hawaii as their witness, she left him hanging. They moved forward ever since and although it felt like a long time, Aileen sometimes wondered what he did with that necklace. She never asked him, nor he ever talked about it so Aileen assumed he threw it away right there and then, back with the other seashells on the shore. It seems like she was wrong this time around.

Aileen saw a hand was holding the necklace and she knew right away who was the owner of that delicate hand.

“Wooyoung? I-I thought…You-you said…” she lost her words. Her mind was blank.

“Shhh. Before you continue, I have something to ask you.” Wooyoung smiled at her while still holding the necklace. Aileen stared back at him and she almost burst into tears. He looked so handsome, wearing an off-white long sleeves shirt, casual suits and a neat dress pants, his eyes were so endearing while he stepped closer to her. Wooyoung then grabbed her hands and asked,

“Aileen Rivera. Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

********************************************************************************
*****************

WHY IS THIS MY LIFE? Nanzy groaned in her head when she saw the door opened and Chansung stood up with his eyes almost poked out of his sockets. She bit her lips hard, expecting the third world war would break out any second now.

“HYUNG???” Chansung roared.

“Chansung, what are you doing here?” Ok Taecyeon screamed just as loud while closing the door with his legs since his hands were occupied with the grocery bags.

“I can ask the same thing. Why are you…..OH WAIT. I get it now!” Chansung suddenly looked so furious, he turned his head to Nanzy. “You’re dating my hyung?” he scoffed.

Oh here we go! Nanzy let out the biggest sigh in her life.

“I should have known it all along, you two would hit it off as soon as I’m gone. I’m such a fool. Do you know the first time I told everyone that I was dating you, Taecyeon hyung was the only one who came to me and questioned me about my decision. Now tell me…” his blazing eyes went back to Taecyeon who was still standing right in front of the door, looking at both Nanzy and his angry magnae.

“You already liked her then, didn’t you? That’s why you came back.”

“Chansung, calm down. You’re not making any sense.” Nanzy spoke up, her eyes were worried.

“Just answer the damn question, Hyung.”

“Jesus Christ. This is just a big misunderstanding. I’m not dating Nanzy, Chansung. I’m not that kind of person, ok? I told you I respect both of you so much and I meant every words.”

“Then…why are you here?” Chansung’s eyes were still diluted with anger but he had toned down his tone.

“To visit her. I came home to my family in Boston last week and I figured since Vermont is only 2 hours away drive, why not visit Nanzy and her- ” Taecyeon stopped as soon as he saw Nanzy signaling him to shut up with her facial expression.

“Boyfriend, yes I know that already. She told me already that she’s seeing someone else.”

“Excuse me, SHE is standing here.” Nanzy wasn’t happy that Chansung kept talking as if she wasn’t around.

“Uhhh…you know what, let me put these down and we’ll talk. I’m sure you have a lot of things to catch up, RIGHT?” he stressed his words and condemned her with his eyes. He walked to the kitchen and left the grocery bags on the counter.

“How come you’re here, Chan? Aren’t you supposed to be in training still?” Taecyeon joined the other two in the living room. He purposely kept his distance with Chansung in case the magnae got crazy again. As weird as it is, Chansung didn’t contact any of his hyung while in training. No one had any idea what happened to him, aside from the news whose journalist purposely went to his camp to do a coverage on him.

Nanzy had been so tensed, she didn’t even realize it was actually less than 2 years since Chansung supposedly joined in the service. Now that Taecyeon brought it up, she also realized Chansung never spoke with his hyung, at least not to Taecyeon.

She never stopped blaming herself for ruining the relationship between Taec and Chansung. Taecyeon always reminded her that it wasn’t her fault and she shouldn’t have felt bad at all, but deep inside she knew if she was more careful none of it would have happened. That’s why today she felt like she just fell into the same hole when Chansung showed up right at the same time that Taecyeon was in town.

Me against the world, right? the little devil inside her head mocked her.

“I was let go earlier coz I did well in my class. How are you, hyung? How are others?” Chansung awkwardly answered. He even twitched on his seat.

“All good. I don’t know if you’ve heard but Junsu hyung’s single had been on the top of the chart since 3 weeks ago. Junho is graduating next month…yeah, I know, right? Finally.” Taecyeon scoffed.

Chansung scoffed too, a smile bloomed showing that he agreed with Taecyeon’s little remark. “What about Jaebum hyung?”

“He’s doing well too, still with Bekah. Yeah, they’re dating.” Taecyeon confirmed after seeing Chansung reacted out of surprise. “They’re like the Brangelina of Korea now. Everyone talks about them.”

Nanzy listened, honestly she didn’t follow the news about them at all, half the reason was because she missed being with every single one of them. She had the best job and it killed her to see that she was no longer a part of these guys. The other half was because she was afraid she would stumble upon the news about Chansung.

“Khun is filming his 5th drama, that kid was never home. Wooyoung has the most MC job than any idol out there. He is practically everywhere. I’m so sick of seeing his face, seriously.”

Right after Taecyeon finished his sentence, a noise came from the corridor where the rooms were. Unfortunately none of them was speaking so they could hear it crystal clear. At first Chansung thought he misheard it, but then he looked at Nanzy and she looked like someone in the movie who just saw a ghost. She was pale white.

“Is that….?” Chansung stood up and walked towards Nanzy.

“Wait, Chan.” she pulled his hand when Chansung walked pass by her, closer to the noise. As he reached the second door on the left, the noise stopped and he knew it came from there. Opening the door, Chansung didn’t know what to expect but his eyes were quickly greeted by a calming shade of blues painted on the wall. A big white clouds filled the whole wall on his left, followed by a red airplane and it’s pilot and a coloful rainbow right below it.

His eyes adjusted to the foreign stuffs on the floor. The toys, the short-legged tables. He stepped inside and finally saw a small bed with guards around it.

A baby cradle.

His mind was immediately turning upside down and a chill crept on his backbone. He was scared shitless but his feet betrayed him and walked closer to see what was inside it.

He gulped. He heard Nanzy showed up at the door behind him, calling his name. But right now, his only focus was for the creature laying down in the box with a pair of big eyes were looking back at him. Chansung saw pool of tears in the corner, his chubby cheeks were wet, showing that he had been crying for a while now. This little person reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t make out who it was. His head was busy asking questions. Chansung turned his head to Nanzy who waited with a concern reflected in her eyes.

“Is…is he mine?”

(to be continued)

********************************************************************************
*****************

CHAPTER 40 - A Blast From the Past “Did you really Google me?” Jay yelled out while still laying down on the bed, wearing absolutely nothing but a proud smile on his face. The clock on the night stand next to him showed 4:00 AM. “Not you, just your symptoms.” Bekah’s head peaked out from the sink inside the room they’ve spent the night together. She turned off the sink and appeared right by the wall, staring at Jay. “You made me sound like someone with a disorder.” Jay grinned at the woman wrapped in a white bed sheet. Her fiery crown was messy and her eyes were sleepy. He adored her. Bekah started walking towards him but he raised his hand, asking her to stop “Stand there and slowly remove that sheet.” “Jay…” she fussed. “Please…I wanna see you.” he begged. “But you’ve seen everything already.” Bekah complained but on the inside she was smiling at his forever playful heart. “Not enough. Hurry, while I’m still young. Turn around.” he sounded even more demanding after her resistance so she gave up and turned away from Jay. Bekah slowly looked over her shoulder while lowering the garments down to her waist. After hearing no respond, she turned again to face him and let the fabric dropped and gathered around her ankles. She was shy at first but seeing how Jay’s hungry eyes feasted on her from head to toe encouraged her to do more, so she put her arms above her head and started to move her hips and danced slowly. Jay’s eyes widened and he sat up against the bed headboard with his arms rested behind his head. “Dang, this is like a private strip club. C’mere.” he licked his lips and asked her to stand next to him. Bekah strutted and teased without letting him to touch her. And when Jay started looking impatient, she sat on his lap and wrapped her hands around his neck. He bit his lower lip and smiled so wide out of excitement but he noticed her shivering a little. “Are you cold?” he whispered. Bekah nodded. Jay quickly pulled her inside his blanket and brought her closer so she could lay on his chest. “Better now?” Jay covered both of their bodies with the sheet before hugging her back. “You’re so cuddly.” she buried her face on his neck, inhaling his scent. “Thanks but don’t say that in front of my friend a’ite? Manly, that you can say. But not cuddly. Teddy bear is cuddly.” he sounded so serious, making her laugh. “I’m not gonna say that you’re manly, ok? Sounds awkward, besides who would ask me such things anyway?” “I don’t know, you girls talk, don’t you?” “Sometimes, but not really about..you know, adult stuffs.” “So you’re not gonna tell them I gave you 4 orgasms tonight?” “JAY !!!” she pinched his pecs. “Ouch..why are you hurting me? It’s true!” “I know…but I just don’t like to be reminded about it. I’m shy.” “Girl, in my world it’s not something to be shy about. It’s quite an accomplishment.” he grinned while stroking her soft hair. “You’re not gonna tell your friends are you?” she suddenly sat up and faced him. “Heh, as much as I want to brag about it, I’m not that kind of guy, Bekah. I don’t kiss and tell ok?” Bekah was relieved so she was about to go back to her comfortable cuddling position until Jay continued, “I fuck and share.” “Oh my god, you asshole.” she pinched his side really hard and laughed with him. Jay flinched, protested and wrestled her down to bed. They were giggling like kids and Bekah kept hitting him as a punishment. Since Jay is much stronger, he was able to catch her hands and hold it down so she stopped fighting. He quieted down and stared at her big brown eyes. Bekah stopped laughing once she saw his eyes softened up. “You know, this is crazy, what we’re doing. But somehow it feels right to me, Bekah. I should have asked you out earlier, who knew what would happened if I had you during my toughest time. Maybe I didn’t have to leave.” “Oh Jay, it’s all in the past ok? People moved on. I also wished to get to know you better but you were a bit intimidating. Even when we met again back in Disneyland, you were kind of an ass.” “An ass?” he was surprised to hear that she really did think of him as an asshole. “Well, not really an ass because you did save my life more than once, but you weren’t really friendly to me and ONLY to me. I thought you must have found me really annoying or something.” she pouted, Jay badly wanted to kiss her and wiped that frown away. “That was part of my strategy, babe, to charm you and make you interested with me. Did it work?” he winked. Bekah never saw him winked before so for a second she thought she was seeing things. “Uh…oh, yeah. I’m in bed with you right now, so I guess it did?” Jay chuckled, he was actually glad to find someone like her. Someone who’s very laid back and cool, not the typical girly girl who often gives him headache. “Will you stay with me?” he asked while gazing right through her eyes. “I can’t, I have to go back before noon tomorrow. I have a dance practice.” Jay smiled, “No, I didn’t mean just tomorrow.” Bekah was stunned by his serious tone and the way he looked at her. His eyes were scrutinizing her like he was trying to get something out of her. “What do you mean?” “I mean, will you break my heart, Rebekah Kim? I have not much to offer at the moment and I’m sure you know it’s not going to be an easy ride for both of us if we decide to go out. And I’m worried that you-“ “Wait, what do you mean, decide to go out? It might be hard to believe but I’m pretty traditional so I don’t do this casually. I am dating you, so stop worrying.” she ran her fingers through his hair and gently caressed his cheek. Bekah felt Jay sighing quite heavily and just realized this thing might have bugged him more than she thought. “Look, I don’t care if I get 100 hate letters everyday from your fans. I don’t want to put too much thought about it. Let’s just take it slowly, one day at a time?” she offered him her pinky. “One day at a time.” Jay hooked his finger with hers before hovering over her and started kissing her intensely. “Jay, I think we should get some sleep. I heard birds tweeting already.” she suggested after realizing that he was ready for another round, judging from his kisses and hungry touch. “Yeah, you’re right, we shall sleep.” he reluctantly parted away and turned her around so he could hug her from the back. “Bekah?” he called out after a while. “Hmmm…?” her sleepy voice was heard faintly. His head was so jumbled with thoughts and he knew it was probably too soon but Jay knew what he wanted and he wanted her in his arms for a long time. Although he’s the oldest, he learned so much from his dongsaengs, especially from the last couple of months. Chansung and Nanzy, Wooyoung and Aileen…he wished things weren’t as hard for them but if he could learn anything from the misfortunes, it was for not taking things for granted. Things come and go very quickly in life and he doesn’t want to wake up one day and regret his past. “I think I love you.” he mumbled his words, waiting for her reaction. “Bekah?” he called out once again but no sound coming from her, only a heavy breathing and right there he knew she was already fast asleep when he confessed. So he wrapped his arms around her and whispered her goodnight before escaping into his own dream world. ************************************************************************************************* “Where are you going, hyung?” Wooyoung caught Taecyeon who was creeping towards the front door, heading out. “Out.” Taec reluctantly answered. “I can see that, but where?” “None of your business.” “Who is she?” Wooyoung hid his grin. He knew Taecyeon wasn’t just going out to PC bang because of his outfit. When Taec dressed properly, meaning less than 2 color combinations, he meant to see girls. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Taec scoffed but it was obvious he was sweating bullets. “Never mind. Have fun!” Wooyoung decided to let it fly for once and not bombarding him for details. Since they are now in sort of hiatus, they have less schedule and more free time so it was natural if Taecyeon wanted to hang out with girls. Wooyoung already asked permission to go to America next month to visit Aileen, she is going to have a surgery and he wants to be there for her. JYP was mad at him for a lot of reasons after they came back from their US tour especially when he found out that he’s been dating Aileen. “You can’t date within company.” that’s what JYP told him but Woo replied since Aileen was practically no longer working for them, there were no rules that prohibited them to date. Taecyeon left the parking lot and headed to the hotel lobby near the airport. He almost got caught by Wooyoung and he was actually worried on how long he could keep doing this without anyone being suspicious. After asking the front desk where the restaurant was, he headed there and checked himself in the mirror before walking into an expensively designed French restaurant. He checked his wallet where he hid a single pack of condom in case he needs it and some cash he took out from the ATM. If anything he didn’t want to leave any trail, learning from his past. He kept walking and looking around until he saw someone sat on the corner table facing away. The body language, the long hair, they were all very familiar. Taecyeon checked his breath before walking confidently towards the person he arranged this meeting with. With the best smile he possessed, he tapped her shoulder and said, “Sorry I’m late. Hope you didn’t wait for too long, Jacqueline.” ************************************************************************************************* Nanzy sighed while standing in the middle of living room. She just unpacked every boxes she brought and finally her new place looked less of a storage room. Being single gave much advantage for her, like this male neighbor who offered her to fix her lamp 2 days ago without her even asking and the delivery guy who brought her this gorgeous coffee table offered to help building it for her. Life has been pretty hectic for the last year and a half ever since she left Seoul. She came back to New York to see Aileen and started applying for jobs. Luckily working for JYP did boost her resume quite a lot and she landed a great job with the most well known modeling agency is NYC. She worked hard to earn money for her future and also for paying what she cost JYP over her reckless action in the past concerning Chansung and Taecyeon. Ahh, Chansung. Sometimes she still have dreams about him, what he was doing and if he still thinks of her. It wasn’t easy to move on since, apparently, he left a bigger mark on her no matter how much she liked it or not. The last time she heard from Aileen who heard the news from Wooyoung, Chansung left for Army right after they broke up. She didn’t know how to react to that but it was safe to say that she probably didn’t want to think about him anymore. It was better that way. Nanzy walked around, her washed out jeans looked a little dusty but she was glad that after a while they finally fit again. Working made her busy but it also made her forget about herself. She didn’t bother brushing her hair sometimes, her coworker always commented that she looked more like a real artist rather than a makeup artist. She didn’t want to admit that her life was pretty much unexciting after Chansung was gone. Luckily couple of months later, a turn of event in her life did change everything and she now finally started living life again and back to her healthy eating schedule. She opened her fridge and realized that she forgot to tell the person who just left to the supermarket that she needed a gallon of milk. She ran to find her cellphone but suddenly there was knocking at the door. Ah, that must be him. “What a perfect timing, I was about to call you that I needed a - ” Nanzy opened the door and was about to greet the familiar face but what she saw was totally unexpected. “……milk.” she murmured, her eyes didn’t blink at all and for a second she thought she was dreaming. “Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung’s deep voice came out from a guy who looked as good as she could remember. Suddenly Nanzy’s throat was dry and her head started spinning. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. He can’t be here right now, not when I finally got my life back and forgot about him. Not when I finally found someone to make me smile again. Oh God no, this is not good. (to be continued) CHAPTER 40 - A Blast From the Past “Did you really Google me?” Jay yelled out while still laying down on the bed, wearing absolutely nothing but a proud smile on his face. The clock on the night stand next to him showed 4:00 AM. “Not you, just your symptoms.” Bekah’s head peaked out from the sink inside the room they’ve spent the night together. She turned off the sink and appeared right by the wall, staring at Jay. “You made me sound like someone with a disorder.” Jay grinned at the woman wrapped in a white bed sheet. Her fiery crown was messy and her eyes were sleepy. He adored her. Bekah started walking towards him but he raised his hand, asking her to stop “Stand there and slowly remove that sheet.” “Jay…” she fussed. “Please…I wanna see you.” he begged. “But you’ve seen everything already.” Bekah complained but on the inside she was smiling at his forever playful heart. “Not enough. Hurry, while I’m still young. Turn around.” he sounded even more demanding after her resistance so she gave up and turned away from Jay. Bekah slowly looked over her shoulder while lowering the garments down to her waist. After hearing no respond, she turned again to face him and let the fabric dropped and gathered around her ankles. She was shy at first but seeing how Jay’s hungry eyes feasted on her from head to toe encouraged her to do more, so she put her arms above her head and started to move her hips and danced slowly. Jay’s eyes widened and he sat up against the bed headboard with his arms rested behind his head. “Dang, this is like a private strip club. C’mere.” he licked his lips and asked her to stand next to him. Bekah strutted and teased without letting him to touch her. And when Jay started looking impatient, she sat on his lap and wrapped her hands around his neck. He bit his lower lip and smiled so wide out of excitement but he noticed her shivering a little. “Are you cold?” he whispered. Bekah nodded. Jay quickly pulled her inside his blanket and brought her closer so she could lay on his chest. “Better now?” Jay covered both of their bodies with the sheet before hugging her back. “You’re so cuddly.” she buried her face on his neck, inhaling his scent. “Thanks but don’t say that in front of my friend a’ite? Manly, that you can say. But not cuddly. Teddy bear is cuddly.” he sounded so serious, making her laugh. “I’m not gonna say that you’re manly, ok? Sounds awkward, besides who would ask me such things anyway?” “I don’t know, you girls talk, don’t you?” “Sometimes, but not really about..you know, adult stuffs.” “So you’re not gonna tell them I gave you 4 orgasms tonight?” “JAY !!!” she pinched his pecs. “Ouch..why are you hurting me? It’s true!” “I know…but I just don’t like to be reminded about it. I’m shy.” “Girl, in my world it’s not something to be shy about. It’s quite an accomplishment.” he grinned while stroking her soft hair. “You’re not gonna tell your friends are you?” she suddenly sat up and faced him. “Heh, as much as I want to brag about it, I’m not that kind of guy, Bekah. I don’t kiss and tell ok?” Bekah was relieved so she was about to go back to her comfortable cuddling position until Jay continued, “I fuck and share.” “Oh my god, you asshole.” she pinched his side really hard and laughed with him. Jay flinched, protested and wrestled her down to bed. They were giggling like kids and Bekah kept hitting him as a punishment. Since Jay is much stronger, he was able to catch her hands and hold it down so she stopped fighting. He quieted down and stared at her big brown eyes. Bekah stopped laughing once she saw his eyes softened up. “You know, this is crazy, what we’re doing. But somehow it feels right to me, Bekah. I should have asked you out earlier, who knew what would happened if I had you during my toughest time. Maybe I didn’t have to leave.” “Oh Jay, it’s all in the past ok? People moved on. I also wished to get to know you better but you were a bit intimidating. Even when we met again back in Disneyland, you were kind of an ass.” “An ass?” he was surprised to hear that she really did think of him as an asshole. “Well, not really an ass because you did save my life more than once, but you weren’t really friendly to me and ONLY to me. I thought you must have found me really annoying or something.” she pouted, Jay badly wanted to kiss her and wiped that frown away. “That was part of my strategy, babe, to charm you and make you interested with me. Did it work?” he winked. Bekah never saw him winked before so for a second she thought she was seeing things. “Uh…oh, yeah. I’m in bed with you right now, so I guess it did?” Jay chuckled, he was actually glad to find someone like her. Someone who’s very laid back and cool, not the typical girly girl who often gives him headache. “Will you stay with me?” he asked while gazing right through her eyes. “I can’t, I have to go back before noon tomorrow. I have a dance practice.” Jay smiled, “No, I didn’t mean just tomorrow.” Bekah was stunned by his serious tone and the way he looked at her. His eyes were scrutinizing her like he was trying to get something out of her. “What do you mean?” “I mean, will you break my heart, Rebekah Kim? I have not much to offer at the moment and I’m sure you know it’s not going to be an easy ride for both of us if we decide to go out. And I’m worried that you-“ “Wait, what do you mean, decide to go out? It might be hard to believe but I’m pretty traditional so I don’t do this casually. I am dating you, so stop worrying.” she ran her fingers through his hair and gently caressed his cheek. Bekah felt Jay sighing quite heavily and just realized this thing might have bugged him more than she thought. “Look, I don’t care if I get 100 hate letters everyday from your fans. I don’t want to put too much thought about it. Let’s just take it slowly, one day at a time?” she offered him her pinky. “One day at a time.” Jay hooked his finger with hers before hovering over her and started kissing her intensely. “Jay, I think we should get some sleep. I heard birds tweeting already.” she suggested after realizing that he was ready for another round, judging from his kisses and hungry touch. “Yeah, you’re right, we shall sleep.” he reluctantly parted away and turned her around so he could hug her from the back. “Bekah?” he called out after a while. “Hmmm…?” her sleepy voice was heard faintly. His head was so jumbled with thoughts and he knew it was probably too soon but Jay knew what he wanted and he wanted her in his arms for a long time. Although he’s the oldest, he learned so much from his dongsaengs, especially from the last couple of months. Chansung and Nanzy, Wooyoung and Aileen…he wished things weren’t as hard for them but if he could learn anything from the misfortunes, it was for not taking things for granted. Things come and go very quickly in life and he doesn’t want to wake up one day and regret his past. “I think I love you.” he mumbled his words, waiting for her reaction. “Bekah?” he called out once again but no sound coming from her, only a heavy breathing and right there he knew she was already fast asleep when he confessed. So he wrapped his arms around her and whispered her goodnight before escaping into his own dream world. ************************************************************************************************* “Where are you going, hyung?” Wooyoung caught Taecyeon who was creeping towards the front door, heading out. “Out.” Taec reluctantly answered. “I can see that, but where?” “None of your business.” “Who is she?” Wooyoung hid his grin. He knew Taecyeon wasn’t just going out to PC bang because of his outfit. When Taec dressed properly, meaning less than 2 color combinations, he meant to see girls. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Taec scoffed but it was obvious he was sweating bullets. “Never mind. Have fun!” Wooyoung decided to let it fly for once and not bombarding him for details. Since they are now in sort of hiatus, they have less schedule and more free time so it was natural if Taecyeon wanted to hang out with girls. Wooyoung already asked permission to go to America next month to visit Aileen, she is going to have a surgery and he wants to be there for her. JYP was mad at him for a lot of reasons after they came back from their US tour especially when he found out that he’s been dating Aileen. “You can’t date within company.” that’s what JYP told him but Woo replied since Aileen was practically no longer working for them, there were no rules that prohibited them to date. Taecyeon left the parking lot and headed to the hotel lobby near the airport. He almost got caught by Wooyoung and he was actually worried on how long he could keep doing this without anyone being suspicious. After asking the front desk where the restaurant was, he headed there and checked himself in the mirror before walking into an expensively designed French restaurant. He checked his wallet where he hid a single pack of condom in case he needs it and some cash he took out from the ATM. If anything he didn’t want to leave any trail, learning from his past. He kept walking and looking around until he saw someone sat on the corner table facing away. The body language, the long hair, they were all very familiar. Taecyeon checked his breath before walking confidently towards the person he arranged this meeting with. With the best smile he possessed, he tapped her shoulder and said, “Sorry I’m late. Hope you didn’t wait for too long, Jacqueline.” ************************************************************************************************* Nanzy sighed while standing in the middle of living room. She just unpacked every boxes she brought and finally her new place looked less of a storage room. Being single gave much advantage for her, like this male neighbor who offered her to fix her lamp 2 days ago without her even asking and the delivery guy who brought her this gorgeous coffee table offered to help building it for her. Life has been pretty hectic for the last year and a half ever since she left Seoul. She came back to New York to see Aileen and started applying for jobs. Luckily working for JYP did boost her resume quite a lot and she landed a great job with the most well known modeling agency is NYC. She worked hard to earn money for her future and also for paying what she cost JYP over her reckless action in the past concerning Chansung and Taecyeon. Ahh, Chansung. Sometimes she still have dreams about him, what he was doing and if he still thinks of her. It wasn’t easy to move on since, apparently, he left a bigger mark on her no matter how much she liked it or not. The last time she heard from Aileen who heard the news from Wooyoung, Chansung left for Army right after they broke up. She didn’t know how to react to that but it was safe to say that she probably didn’t want to think about him anymore. It was better that way. Nanzy walked around, her washed out jeans looked a little dusty but she was glad that after a while they finally fit again. Working made her busy but it also made her forget about herself. She didn’t bother brushing her hair sometimes, her coworker always commented that she looked more like a real artist rather than a makeup artist. She didn’t want to admit that her life was pretty much unexciting after Chansung was gone. Luckily couple of months later, a turn of event in her life did change everything and she now finally started living life again and back to her healthy eating schedule. She opened her fridge and realized that she forgot to tell the person who just left to the supermarket that she needed a gallon of milk. She ran to find her cellphone but suddenly there was knocking at the door. Ah, that must be him. “What a perfect timing, I was about to call you that I needed a - ” Nanzy opened the door and was about to greet the familiar face but what she saw was totally unexpected. “……milk.” she murmured, her eyes didn’t blink at all and for a second she thought she was dreaming. “Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung’s deep voice came out from a guy who looked as good as she could remember. Suddenly Nanzy’s throat was dry and her head started spinning. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. He can’t be here right now, not when I finally got my life back and forgot about him. Not when I finally found someone to make me smile again. Oh God no, this is not good. (to be continued)

CHAPTER 40 - A Blast From the Past

“Did you really Google me?” Jay yelled out while still laying down on the bed, wearing absolutely nothing but a proud smile on his face. The clock on the night stand next to him showed 4:00 AM.

“Not you, just your symptoms.” Bekah’s head peaked out from the sink inside the room they’ve spent the night together. She turned off the sink and appeared right by the wall, staring at Jay.

“You made me sound like someone with a disorder.” Jay grinned at the woman wrapped in a white bed sheet. Her fiery crown was messy and her eyes were sleepy. He adored her.

Bekah started walking towards him but he raised his hand, asking her to stop “Stand there and slowly remove that sheet.”

“Jay…” she fussed.

“Please…I wanna see you.” he begged.

“But you’ve seen everything already.” Bekah complained but on the inside she was smiling at his forever playful heart.

“Not enough. Hurry, while I’m still young. Turn around.” he sounded even more demanding after her resistance so she gave up and turned away from Jay. Bekah slowly looked over her shoulder while lowering the garments down to her waist. After hearing no respond, she turned again to face him and let the fabric dropped and gathered around her ankles. She was shy at first but seeing how Jay’s hungry eyes feasted on her from head to toe encouraged her to do more, so she put her arms above her head and started to move her hips and danced slowly.

Jay’s eyes widened and he sat up against the bed headboard with his arms rested behind his head. “Dang, this is like a private strip club. C’mere.” he licked his lips and asked her to stand next to him. Bekah strutted and teased without letting him to touch her. And when Jay started looking impatient, she sat on his lap and wrapped her hands around his neck. He bit his lower lip and smiled so wide out of excitement but he noticed her shivering a little.

“Are you cold?” he whispered. Bekah nodded. Jay quickly pulled her inside his blanket and brought her closer so she could lay on his chest. “Better now?” Jay covered both of their bodies with the sheet before hugging her back.

“You’re so cuddly.” she buried her face on his neck, inhaling his scent.

“Thanks but don’t say that in front of my friend a’ite? Manly, that you can say. But not cuddly. Teddy bear is cuddly.” he sounded so serious, making her laugh.

“I’m not gonna say that you’re manly, ok? Sounds awkward, besides who would ask me such things anyway?”

“I don’t know, you girls talk, don’t you?”

“Sometimes, but not really about..you know, adult stuffs.”

“So you’re not gonna tell them I gave you 4 orgasms tonight?”

“JAY !!!” she pinched his pecs.

“Ouch..why are you hurting me? It’s true!”

“I know…but I just don’t like to be reminded about it. I’m shy.”

“Girl, in my world it’s not something to be shy about. It’s quite an accomplishment.” he grinned while stroking her soft hair.

“You’re not gonna tell your friends are you?” she suddenly sat up and faced him.

“Heh, as much as I want to brag about it, I’m not that kind of guy, Bekah. I don’t kiss and tell ok?”

Bekah was relieved so she was about to go back to her comfortable cuddling position until Jay continued,

“I fuck and share.”

“Oh my god, you asshole.” she pinched his side really hard and laughed with him. Jay flinched, protested and wrestled her down to bed. They were giggling like kids and Bekah kept hitting him as a punishment. Since Jay is much stronger, he was able to catch her hands and hold it down so she stopped fighting. He quieted down and stared at her big brown eyes. Bekah stopped laughing once she saw his eyes softened up.

“You know, this is crazy, what we’re doing. But somehow it feels right to me, Bekah. I should have asked you out earlier, who knew what would happened if I had you during my toughest time. Maybe I didn’t have to leave.”

“Oh Jay, it’s all in the past ok? People moved on. I also wished to get to know you better but you were a bit intimidating. Even when we met again back in Disneyland, you were kind of an ass.”

“An ass?” he was surprised to hear that she really did think of him as an asshole.

“Well, not really an ass because you did save my life more than once, but you weren’t really friendly to me and ONLY to me. I thought you must have found me really annoying or something.” she pouted, Jay badly wanted to kiss her and wiped that frown away.

“That was part of my strategy, babe, to charm you and make you interested with me. Did it work?” he winked. Bekah never saw him winked before so for a second she thought she was seeing things.

“Uh…oh, yeah. I’m in bed with you right now, so I guess it did?”

Jay chuckled, he was actually glad to find someone like her. Someone who’s very laid back and cool, not the typical girly girl who often gives him headache.

“Will you stay with me?” he asked while gazing right through her eyes.

“I can’t, I have to go back before noon tomorrow. I have a dance practice.”

Jay smiled, “No, I didn’t mean just tomorrow.”

Bekah was stunned by his serious tone and the way he looked at her. His eyes were scrutinizing her like he was trying to get something out of her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, will you break my heart, Rebekah Kim? I have not much to offer at the moment and I’m sure you know it’s not going to be an easy ride for both of us if we decide to go out. And I’m worried that you-“

“Wait, what do you mean, decide to go out? It might be hard to believe but I’m pretty traditional so I don’t do this casually. I am dating you, so stop worrying.” she ran her fingers through his hair and gently caressed his cheek. Bekah felt Jay sighing quite heavily and just realized this thing might have bugged him more than she thought.

“Look, I don’t care if I get 100 hate letters everyday from your fans. I don’t want to put too much thought about it. Let’s just take it slowly, one day at a time?” she offered him her pinky.

“One day at a time.” Jay hooked his finger with hers before hovering over her and started kissing her intensely.

“Jay, I think we should get some sleep. I heard birds tweeting already.” she suggested after realizing that he was ready for another round, judging from his kisses and hungry touch.

“Yeah, you’re right, we shall sleep.” he reluctantly parted away and turned her around so he could hug her from the back.

“Bekah?” he called out after a while.

“Hmmm…?” her sleepy voice was heard faintly.

His head was so jumbled with thoughts and he knew it was probably too soon but Jay knew what he wanted and he wanted her in his arms for a long time. Although he’s the oldest, he learned so much from his dongsaengs, especially from the last couple of months. Chansung and Nanzy, Wooyoung and Aileen…he wished things weren’t as hard for them but if he could learn anything from the misfortunes, it was for not taking things for granted. Things come and go very quickly in life and he doesn’t want to wake up one day and regret his past.

“I think I love you.” he mumbled his words, waiting for her reaction.

“Bekah?” he called out once again but no sound coming from her, only a heavy breathing and right there he knew she was already fast asleep when he confessed. So he wrapped his arms around her and whispered her goodnight before escaping into his own dream world.

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“Where are you going, hyung?” Wooyoung caught Taecyeon who was creeping towards the front door, heading out.

“Out.” Taec reluctantly answered.

“I can see that, but where?”

“None of your business.”

“Who is she?” Wooyoung hid his grin. He knew Taecyeon wasn’t just going out to PC bang because of his outfit. When Taec dressed properly, meaning less than 2 color combinations, he meant to see girls.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Taec scoffed but it was obvious he was sweating bullets.

“Never mind. Have fun!” Wooyoung decided to let it fly for once and not bombarding him for details. Since they are now in sort of hiatus, they have less schedule and more free time so it was natural if Taecyeon wanted to hang out with girls. Wooyoung already asked permission to go to America next month to visit Aileen, she is going to have a surgery and he wants to be there for her. JYP was mad at him for a lot of reasons after they came back from their US tour especially when he found out that he’s been dating Aileen.

“You can’t date within company.” that’s what JYP told him but Woo replied since Aileen was practically no longer working for them, there were no rules that prohibited them to date.

Taecyeon left the parking lot and headed to the hotel lobby near the airport. He almost got caught by Wooyoung and he was actually worried on how long he could keep doing this without anyone being suspicious.

After asking the front desk where the restaurant was, he headed there and checked himself in the mirror before walking into an expensively designed French restaurant. He checked his wallet where he hid a single pack of condom in case he needs it and some cash he took out from the ATM. If anything he didn’t want to leave any trail, learning from his past.

He kept walking and looking around until he saw someone sat on the corner table facing away. The body language, the long hair, they were all very familiar. Taecyeon checked his breath before walking confidently towards the person he arranged this meeting with. With the best smile he possessed, he tapped her shoulder and said,

“Sorry I’m late. Hope you didn’t wait for too long, Jacqueline.”

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Nanzy sighed while standing in the middle of living room. She just unpacked every boxes she brought and finally her new place looked less of a storage room. Being single gave much advantage for her, like this male neighbor who offered her to fix her lamp 2 days ago without her even asking and the delivery guy who brought her this gorgeous coffee table offered to help building it for her.

Life has been pretty hectic for the last year and a half ever since she left Seoul. She came back to New York to see Aileen and started applying for jobs. Luckily working for JYP did boost her resume quite a lot and she landed a great job with the most well known modeling agency is NYC. She worked hard to earn money for her future and also for paying what she cost JYP over her reckless action in the past concerning Chansung and Taecyeon.

Ahh, Chansung. Sometimes she still have dreams about him, what he was doing and if he still thinks of her. It wasn’t easy to move on since, apparently, he left a bigger mark on her no matter how much she liked it or not. The last time she heard from Aileen who heard the news from Wooyoung, Chansung left for Army right after they broke up. She didn’t know how to react to that but it was safe to say that she probably didn’t want to think about him anymore. It was better that way.

Nanzy walked around, her washed out jeans looked a little dusty but she was glad that after a while they finally fit again. Working made her busy but it also made her forget about herself. She didn’t bother brushing her hair sometimes, her coworker always commented that she looked more like a real artist rather than a makeup artist. She didn’t want to admit that her life was pretty much unexciting after Chansung was gone. Luckily couple of months later, a turn of event in her life did change everything and she now finally started living life again and back to her healthy eating schedule.

She opened her fridge and realized that she forgot to tell the person who just left to the supermarket that she needed a gallon of milk. She ran to find her cellphone but suddenly there was knocking at the door.

Ah, that must be him.

“What a perfect timing, I was about to call you that I needed a - ” Nanzy opened the door and was about to greet the familiar face but what she saw was totally unexpected.

“……milk.” she murmured, her eyes didn’t blink at all and for a second she thought she was dreaming.

“Good morning, Nuna. Were you expecting someone?” Chansung’s deep voice came out from a guy who looked as good as she could remember.

Suddenly Nanzy’s throat was dry and her head started spinning.

No, no, no. This can’t be happening. He can’t be here right now, not when I finally got my life back and forgot about him. Not when I finally found someone to make me smile again.

Oh God no, this is not good.

(to be continued)

CHAPTER 39 - Takes Two to Tango “I can’t believe Chansung is gone.” Junho curled up on the sofa the night Chansung left for his Army training in Nonsan. Taecyeon and Khun, who sat down on the floor below Junho, were too busy with their Playstation game to give any response. “Yahhh…don’t be sad. I think he needs it. Maybe he’s better off to be away from all of these so that he can find himself back.” Junsu’s voice appeared from his bedroom door along with a weird looking short he was wearing. From the get-up it seemed like he was about to take a shower. “Easy for him to say that, he’s got his own music project going on. Jay-hyung has a girlfriend. Wooyoung and Taecyeon-hyung are always busy. And you, Hyung, you’re doing We Got Married show now. What am I supposed to do?” Junho sighed. “Didn’t Nanzy-nuna ask all of us once, what would we do if we weren’t in 2PM? What was your answer?” Taec asked with his eyes still on TV screen. “Ummm…going back to school.” “See, that’s something. Why don’t you do that? Oh, and just to clear things up, Jaebum hyung doesn’t have a girlfriend…….yet.” Khun grinned. “Chincha? What happened?” Junho swifted his ass and his entire body towards Jay who sat in the corner. He was so quiet everyone forgot he’d been there the entire time. “I guess, she didn’t make it clear that we’re really going out. She agreed to go on a date with me tho….which was kinda cool.” “Wow..that’s new. Unique. Did she give any sign to you or anything indicated her interest in you?” Wooyoung looked at Jay suspiciously. “What are you, a love shrink?” Jay barked at the younger man who carelessly shrugged but demanded a real answer. “Hmm…lemme think….”, Jay concentrated but immediately the image of Bekah looking defenseless in his arm popped out again in his mind. Since that night, Jay couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her eyes, her hair, how her lips bloomed for him, the scent of sweet vanilla on her neck. She was so sweet, almost as sweet as the pancake they once made together in The Foundry. Just imagining her made him get too excited again so Jay suavely crossed his legs to prevent any humiliation. Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea. Jay and Bekah met twice after that fun night but they didn’t make any progress, in fact they were going backwards. The reason being was because Jay told himself not to rush things. He recently saw how Khun treated Victoria, his new wife like a princess and he couldn’t help but think if he’d been doing it all wrong. He was worried Bekah only saw him as a ruthless horny kid who finds his way to get into her pants. He wanted to show that he is much more than that. Before they went on their first breakfast date, he kept reminding his idiot mind to slow things down. He did behave like a total gentleman, opened the door for her, dragged her chair, not making any sexual comment, but he clearly showed his affection to minimum level. Jay could see a big question mark in Bekah’s eyes when they stood in front of her door. He knew she was expecting him to kiss her. But instead he said, “That was awesome. We should do it again some time.” before hugging her shoulder and left. What the fuck, that’s what I said to my uncle who took me fishing, Jay thought right away. He couldn’t sleep well that night, beating himself up mentally for such a pathetic good bye statement. Their second date wasn’t any better, they went to a movie and at one point, Bekah playfully asked him if he could feed her popcorn. He did what she asked without any preparation when Bekah purposely touch his salty finger with the tip of her tongue. She smiled at him innocently but Jay’s mind was full of naughty things he imagined her to do to him with that tongue. He tensed up and ignored her for the rest of the movie. When Bekah closed her eyes while standing in front of her dorm that night, he couldn’t run away, so Jay did all he could and kissed her forehead. No wonder she hasn’t called me ever since, I’m so lame. Jay pouted. “Hyung?” Wooyoung asked once again. Before Jay could answer him, his phone buzzed so he checked his new incoming message. It was from Bekah. Dinner tomorrow? I’ll pick you up around 7. “Yeah…she likes me, Woo.” Jay pleasedly smiled and turned to Wooyoung after replying her text with an Ok. ************************************************************************************************* Bekah sipped on her red wine while watching Jay indulging in his Sicilian Meatballs Spaghetti. They were dining at a small authentic Italian restaurant that Bekah discovered a while back with Gahee unnie. Since the place is not in the center of Seoul, less people come to this amazing restaurant. Bekah loves it here, the food is delicious, it’s private and their dim lighting is so romantic. Earlier today she came home from shooting Playgirlz School, took an extra long shower, put on her new body-hugging mini dress, hopped on her heels and drove to Jay’s apartment. She had been wondering the whole week why Jay behaved so weird on their previous dates. Bekah did realize they could have probably gone a little too cozy with each other the other night but if anything, she wouldn’t expect him to restrict himself and do otherwise. She enjoyed his kisses, his touches, and the way he looked at her. He made her feel beautiful and appreciated. That’s why when Jay never kissed her again ever since, Bekah was somewhat disappointed. She was really confused but didn’t want to ask her unnie for this kind of things so in the end she decided to seek advice from the most reliable and helpful individual, Google. Bekah went through many similar articles that basically informed that it was probably Jay’s little strategy game, ignoring her, just to make her curious. Well, I don’t mind games as long as I can play too, she devilishly smiled to herself. Another theory explaining Jay’s unusual behavior was pretty surprising for Bekah, it was a huge possibility but she just never thought or assumed that would be the case.. “Are you ok there?” Jay caught Bekah’s attention from across the table. “I’m fine…how’s your food?” she put down her tall wine glass and leaned forward. She knew the front of her dress had a low cut top which definitely show her healthy busts. Normally she doesn’t do these things but since she has planned to not be the only one suffering, Bekah thought it wouldn’t hurt flaunting what she’s got. Her inner devil rejoiced when her mission was successful. Jay had to pause for a while and cleared his throat and looked up, “Amazing.” “You’ve got something…..there.” she pointed at the corner of his mouth before moving towards him and wiped the tomato sauce off with her index finger. She sat back down and tossed her hair to the side. Instead of wiping the sauce on the napkin, she brought it to her mouth and licked it off. Jay stared at her in disbelief. What had she just done? Wiped something off my mouth. Oh good grief! “Mmm..that is good. I should have asked you to share me some before you finished your plate.” Bekah could see his eyes followed every turn and gesture she made. “So…..Chansung-sshi left huh? That was a bit shocking, his decision.” she started a conversation. Jay relaxed on his chair and drank his wine. “Yeah, that kid. He was a bit lost after his breakup with Nanzy. It was hard for the rest of us because Chansung’s got a strong will and none of us could really talk him out of it. We’re just hoping he comes back a better man.” “Oh I’m sure he will. Life experience makes someone stronger.” Bekah sent him an encouraging smile, she noticed under the soft light from the candles between them, Jay looked amazingly attractive. The long sleeved black shirt he was wearing accentuated his fit body and tonight he didn’t wear any cap. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, showing his almost-crafted looking veiny hands. Bekah cursed him for having this effect on her, albeit the circumstances. “And Nichkhun-sshi, he’s married to Victoria-unnie for that show, yes?” she continued talking before the butterfly in her stomach started to flap again. Jay nodded, he seemed much more comfortable now that they were talking about other people. “I’m a little jealous.” Bekah sighed. “You really like Khun?” he quickly responded. If Bekah wasn’t mistaken she almost could hear some jealousy in there. “Why not, he seems like a nice guy.” “Then why don’t you marry him?” “I can’t marry every nice guy I meet, Jay. Besides that’s not why I’m jealous for. It’s the amount of support they got.” “You mean…compared to us?” Bekah nodded before continuing “So far I’ve received 54 hate letters basically saying I don’t deserve you or I should never say yes to your question.” “54??? Jeez, woman. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could have done something about it!!!” Jay was furious hearing the news. He straightened his back and dragged his chair forward. “Nothing we can do, Jay. We’re public figures and have fans, I understand that, of course they will have reaction and we can’t expect them to be all positive. But no worries, I already trashed those letters.” “Good. Don’t read them, ok? Give them to me, we can destroy them together.” Bekah chuckled, she found it was kinda cute that Jay was angry about this. After splitting the bills, they left the restaurant. Jay insisted to drive but Bekah refused, saying he wouldn’t know where to go next. “Aren’t we going home?” “Nu-uh. I wanna show you something.” she smiled secretively while driving away from the parking lot. The night had fallen and the clock showed it was 9 o’clock. They drove even further away from the city, heading to a quieter residential area. Jay was trying to read the street signs but he had been lost since half an hour ago. The more Bekah drove, the less familiar of a scenery he saw. “Where are you taking me?” he asked suspiciously. “Would a rapist tell his victim where they go?” “YOU’RE GOING TO RAPE ME?” he turned to her in horror. “That was a hypothetical question, Jay…meaning…ah never mind. We’re here anyway.” she went into a driveway which led to a big house. “This is where we we shoot for our reality show, let’s go in and check it out.” Bekah chirpily got out of the car and dragged Jay inside. He followed her. “Wow, it’s beautiful. No one’s here?” he elongated his neck and looked around briefly. “No, they all left. I asked for the house key from my manager because I left my I-pod around here somewhere. The next shooting won’t be until this weekend so this house would be empty at least for the next 3 days.” Bekah left Jay on the living room and went inside one of the bedroom to find her I-pod. He wandered around the area and saw a big banana pillow on the round sofa in the middle of the room. Everything looked so girly, very appropriate for a girls’ house. He yawned and sat on the couch while stretching. He strained his shoulder this morning at the gym and he just started to feel the effect. Jay rubbed the stiff tendon and relaxed his shoulder. Suddenly he felt Bekah’s hand nuzzling his neck from behind. “Wh-what are you doing?” “Massaging you.” she whispered in his ears which made him tremble from head to toe. “That’s ok. I was just…”“Relax, Jay.” She grasped his shoulder. “You’re way too tense.” He wanted to reject her because it felt so good, almost too good, but for the same reason, he couldn’t. Instead, he let her rubbing his neck and back, sending a tingling sensation from her soft hand to every blood vessel running through his body. Jay closed his eyes and he started imagining her exploring her touch elsewhere. Then she would follow with her lips, her sweet wanting lips. And then I would persuasively bring her palm down to my- WAIT A MINUTE, WAKE UP YOU ASSHOLE! A tiny voice jolted him back to the reality, he opened his eyes and stood up in a flash. “What’s wrong?” Bekah looked at him, confused. “Uh…nothing. I just remembered how far we had to drive here so maybe we should go back.” “Jay, we don’t need to do this.” “Do what?” he scrunched his eyebrows. “This tug of war thing you’re doing and the wall you’ve built around you, Jay. I don’t understand why you treat me like I have an HIV or something.” “Why would you say so?” Jay was appalled. “Why would I say so? Oh, dear God. I feel it, ok? You’ve been keeping a distance ever since that night we kissed. You refused to kiss me again, even touch me. If you’re doing this to make me curious, well…you win. I am HELLA curious about you and why you’re doing this. So can we stop playing now?” her breathing has just suddenly gotten faster. Jay was astonished on how she wrongly she took his action for. He didn’t realize it was that extreme. He thought girls like someone who’s polite, well-mannered and treating them like flowers. Someone like Khun. He wouldn’t have thought his action made Bekah think he was avoiding her like a virus. “You’ve got it all wrong, babe. I wasn’t building walls. I was just…unsure and frightened.” he looked away, normally Jay doesn’t like admitting his weakness in front of girls but he had no other answer for her except the truth. She faced him like a soldier, he saw her eyes were so piercing but after he said his last word, they softened up almost like a sympathy. Bekah was relieved that Jay wasn’t toying her, she believed him. But then she also realized her other speculation might have been right. “Oh, Jay. That’s ok. I will teach you.” she stepped closer to Jay who was standing against the wall. “Teach me about what?” he saw Bekah coming at him with her sympathetic expression. Her eyes weren’t easy too read. “You know…sex.” “EXCUSE ME!?! Do you think I’m…” Jay paused. “A virgin.” she finished his sentence. Jay widened his eyes. Out of all weird things he could imagine her to think of him, a virgin would be the top of the list. He felt somewhat offended. “Woa woa woa, hold up, gurl. Lemme straighten this fact, a’ight? I am not a virgin and I’m pretty sure I don’t look like one. Hell, ok fine…maybe you can never tell other than from kisses- … GODDAMNIT, do I kiss like one?” he went all over the place, kept walking back and forth with so much angst. “Jay, stop.” she pulled his hand so he stopped marching. “How could you assume I’m….argh.” he scratched his head in frustration. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t believe that you are either but your action confused me. I didn’t know what to think. You act like you don’t even want me.” she looked frustrated with herself and the guy in front of her. Jay didn’t say anything else so Bekah sighed. She was too embarrassed by her judgment on Jay to look up to him or argue with him, so after a long awkward silence she said, “You were right, it’s late and I don’t even know why I brought you here. It must have been the wine..ahhh, stupid me.” she swifted to the side away from Jay’s body and started walking to the door. “Wait.” he pulled her hand. “No, Jay. I’m tired, I wanna go home.” she resisted him. “No, wait.” suddenly Jay reached out for her waist and pulled her in until the front of her body met his. Bekah gasped, his arms were wrapped behind her back and pushed her towards him until there was no space between them. Bekah looked up only to meet Jay’s fiery eyes. “You asked me why I didn’t touch you or kiss you after that night, well, here’s why. I can’t kiss you without wanting to tear all your clothes apart and make love to you. I don’t have the will power to control myself whenever our skin touch. Like right at this moment, you can feel that, can’t you?” he growled. Bekah blushed, she could definitely feel something hard against her dress. Her heartbeat started to go crazy again when she saw his eagle eye never left hers.  “Jay…” she gulped. The truth is, she couldn’t play this game either. She wanted him, more than she could ever want anybody else. His stupid jokes, his reckless attitude, only added to the charm Bekah saw in him since the very first time. “I want you, for fuck’s sake. Don’t ever question me on that one. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m crazy about you. You’re like a drug. And I don’t trust myself for that reason. So there you go. I hope that clear up our misunderstanding.” Bekah felt the grip behind her has been loosened and Jay’s body moved away. She braced herself, pulled his face back at her and kissed him. She noticed he tensed up but when she felt his arms were back on her cheek, she knew Jay had knocked down his barrier and finally given up. “Oh, screw this.” his kisses had gone from sweet and tender to demanding. She opened her mouth, invited his invasion. Their tongues met in a passionate battle and suddenly she felt like the ground below them had crumbled, it was mind blowing. Jay said she was like a drug to him, so if this is what he meant by that, then Bekah could definitely reciprocate. He plunged and plundered, deepening his kisses, he cupped the back of her head with one hand. The other hand had been busy exploring down to her curves, she felt his palm pressed against her belly and slowly moved up, across her breast and reached out for the strap of her gown. “You look amazing tonight, but we don’t need this hmm?” he smiled on her lips between his kisses, Bekah felt the top of her dress had fallen down and gathered above her waist, exposing the red laced bra she only wears for special occasion. It didn’t stay on for long either because he smoothly unhooked it while kissing her neck. Jay stepped back a little to admire what lied in front of him. There she was, half naked and alluring. He dreamed of this in one of those torturing restless night and now she came to life. The dark room only filled with the moonlight coming from the window gave an amazing silhouette to her curvacious body. Her full amazing breasts moved up and down due to her heavy breathing. He watched her, how she glared at him with those seductive eyes, how her ripened lips begged for his kisses, how she wanted him. “You are so beautiful.” a deep voice came out from Jay whose hair was now messy from her touch. Bekah pulled the front of his shirt closer to her, lifted it up above his head and tossed it aside. Her eyes were quickly fulfilled with his well defined set of torso that any guy could ever dream of. She wasted no time and started teasing him while her body throbbed with need. He touched her hair before caressing her breast. His lips were back tasting hers and a lighting flashes of sensation whizzed from her breasts to her femininity. When they were out of breath, Jay eased his mouth away from hers and painted a moist trail down her throat. She tossed her head back to give him the full access. His tongue roamed around, seeking out the sweetness of her breasts. When he licked her, she cried out as intense pleasure erupt inside her. “Oh Jay, Jay…” she moaned his name several times as she threaded her fingers through his hair, encouraging his tender assault. Her fingers reached down to remove his belt and unbutton his jeans. “You’re so hard.” she innocently gasped after finding a big bulge inside, making it hard to pull down the trousers. “Of course, silly. Just look at you.” he got up and helped her out by pulling down his jeans. His thin cotton boxer could not hide his excitement and it made Bekah blush to see how much he wanted her. She shyly touched him there but Jay’s hand stop her. “Not yet, sweetheart. It’s my turn.” He carefully remove Bekah’s dress and traced the S line on her back with his other free hand. When he squeezed her derrière, she bit her lips in excitement. He grinned to her and slid his finger inside the soaked satin panties. “Babe, you want me don’t you?” Jay released a naughty chuckle when he felt her feminine core clenching under his playful touch. Bekah nodded helplessly, her skin was sensitive to his touch and her eyes were gleaming with lust. Bekah tugged on his only fabric. She circled his erection, his deep husky groan pleased her ear. She could make out the silhouette of his body in semi-darkness, but she became greedy and needed more than that shadow glimpse. “If you keep doing that, I’m afraid I’m gonna take you on the floor right here.” he whispered his threat behind her ear before sucking the smooth skin on the side of her neck. He nibbled her ear and Bekah lost it. The scent of his masculinity overdosed her. “Jay, please make love to me.” “Heh, I thought you’d never ask.” he swiftly lifted her up and ran to the nearest bedroom with a big white bed. He slammed her down before removing his boxer and kicked it on the floor. Jay hovered above Bekah with one hand on her side, another one hand pulling down the only barricade between his manhood and her sacred crown. She arched her back and kissed his jawline, her hands were busy playing with his throbbing member. Jay groaned impatiently, he buried his face on her neck and his head started to move down. His tongue flicked her beaded nipples and then he trailed even lower. She let out a small giggle when Jay reached her belly button but quickly replaced with a soft moan when he parted her thighs. Without her permission he devoured her, nibbling, sucking, until she writhed on the bed in an agony of sensuality. This can’t be real, Bekah looked up to the ceiling but everything else spun around her. He lifted her hips, bringing her closer to his ravaging mouth. Then he changed his pace to a slower and apparently, more effective for Bekah. He soon had her weeping as her body coiled tighter and tighter. With one final sweep of his tongue, he snapped the cord and flung her into a release so intense that uncontrollable shudders racked her body. Before Bekah could recover from the intense climax, Jay rose up over her. She knew he wanted to have her already but Bekah decided to surprise him and pulled his body down. She sat on top of him and sent a sexy smirk before going down on him. “Bek…what are you doing? I won’t last long.” “Shhh…you talk too much.” she looked up before continuing her mission. “Oh God, that feels so good.” Jay laid back on the soft bed when he felt her tongue licking around like child enjoying a popsicle. His vision started to leave him and he knew if he didn’t stop her, he might hit the jackpot way too soon. “Ok, babe. That’s enough, come here you little minx.” he pulled her up and switched places. He cupped her hips, lifted them to meet his thrust and forced in deeply and completely. She yelped and they started moving rhythmically.  “Jay you’re so big.” she murmured, her lustful eyes widened. “And you’re so warm, love.” he chuckled, grind down and licked her lips. They twisted and turned on the bed, exchanging positions of dominance while their bodies joined in a sensual frenzy. He sped up and caused her another moan. Jay knew she was on the verge of another climax when her body tightened. He accelerated the pace, taking her harder and faster. Bekah moved her hips faster and it drove him wild. “Jay…I’m close.” she reached out for him and moaned in his ears. The noise she made sent an amazing sensation both to his brain and his manhood and suddenly Jay knew he couldn’t hold any longer. When she spun out of control, his release also hit him hard and full-force. The power of their simultaneous orgasm shattered them into million shards of pleasure. They laid on each other’s arm as the aftershocks rippled through their sweaty bodies. Bekah’s chest were still moving up and down but her face were flushed from the back to back climax Jay gave her. He laid next to her, still inhaling the intoxicating scent of their love making, sweat and her sweet vanilla. I must have been lost and died in a sexual haze and resurrected. I don’t mind either way. Bekah finally turned her body towards him, “Yeah, you’re no virgin.” Jay laughed and kissed her forehead, “Oh, so I needed to prove that to you, is that so?” Bekah laughed back at him when Jay continued, “I shouldn’t have waited nor made you wait, babe. That was amazing.” “That was alright.” she rolled around. “Are you kidding me, you came twice, woman! It was more than alright.” his eyes shot at her in disbelief, his smile was proud. Bekah got up and pulled away from him but he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to bed and positioned her on top of him. Bekah giggled and punched his shoulder jokingly before he sealed her lips with another long wet kiss that rocked her world once again. She had a feeling both her and Jay would have some really hard time getting out of the bed once they were trapped in. As if he read her mind, Jay followed, “Oh babe, don’t run off so soon. The night has just begun.” CHAPTER 39 - Takes Two to Tango “I can’t believe Chansung is gone.” Junho curled up on the sofa the night Chansung left for his Army training in Nonsan. Taecyeon and Khun, who sat down on the floor below Junho, were too busy with their Playstation game to give any response. “Yahhh…don’t be sad. I think he needs it. Maybe he’s better off to be away from all of these so that he can find himself back.” Junsu’s voice appeared from his bedroom door along with a weird looking short he was wearing. From the get-up it seemed like he was about to take a shower. “Easy for him to say that, he’s got his own music project going on. Jay-hyung has a girlfriend. Wooyoung and Taecyeon-hyung are always busy. And you, Hyung, you’re doing We Got Married show now. What am I supposed to do?” Junho sighed. “Didn’t Nanzy-nuna ask all of us once, what would we do if we weren’t in 2PM? What was your answer?” Taec asked with his eyes still on TV screen. “Ummm…going back to school.” “See, that’s something. Why don’t you do that? Oh, and just to clear things up, Jaebum hyung doesn’t have a girlfriend…….yet.” Khun grinned. “Chincha? What happened?” Junho swifted his ass and his entire body towards Jay who sat in the corner. He was so quiet everyone forgot he’d been there the entire time. “I guess, she didn’t make it clear that we’re really going out. She agreed to go on a date with me tho….which was kinda cool.” “Wow..that’s new. Unique. Did she give any sign to you or anything indicated her interest in you?” Wooyoung looked at Jay suspiciously. “What are you, a love shrink?” Jay barked at the younger man who carelessly shrugged but demanded a real answer. “Hmm…lemme think….”, Jay concentrated but immediately the image of Bekah looking defenseless in his arm popped out again in his mind. Since that night, Jay couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her eyes, her hair, how her lips bloomed for him, the scent of sweet vanilla on her neck. She was so sweet, almost as sweet as the pancake they once made together in The Foundry. Just imagining her made him get too excited again so Jay suavely crossed his legs to prevent any humiliation. Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea. Jay and Bekah met twice after that fun night but they didn’t make any progress, in fact they were going backwards. The reason being was because Jay told himself not to rush things. He recently saw how Khun treated Victoria, his new wife like a princess and he couldn’t help but think if he’d been doing it all wrong. He was worried Bekah only saw him as a ruthless horny kid who finds his way to get into her pants. He wanted to show that he is much more than that. Before they went on their first breakfast date, he kept reminding his idiot mind to slow things down. He did behave like a total gentleman, opened the door for her, dragged her chair, not making any sexual comment, but he clearly showed his affection to minimum level. Jay could see a big question mark in Bekah’s eyes when they stood in front of her door. He knew she was expecting him to kiss her. But instead he said, “That was awesome. We should do it again some time.” before hugging her shoulder and left. What the fuck, that’s what I said to my uncle who took me fishing, Jay thought right away. He couldn’t sleep well that night, beating himself up mentally for such a pathetic good bye statement. Their second date wasn’t any better, they went to a movie and at one point, Bekah playfully asked him if he could feed her popcorn. He did what she asked without any preparation when Bekah purposely touch his salty finger with the tip of her tongue. She smiled at him innocently but Jay’s mind was full of naughty things he imagined her to do to him with that tongue. He tensed up and ignored her for the rest of the movie. When Bekah closed her eyes while standing in front of her dorm that night, he couldn’t run away, so Jay did all he could and kissed her forehead. No wonder she hasn’t called me ever since, I’m so lame. Jay pouted. “Hyung?” Wooyoung asked once again. Before Jay could answer him, his phone buzzed so he checked his new incoming message. It was from Bekah. Dinner tomorrow? I’ll pick you up around 7. “Yeah…she likes me, Woo.” Jay pleasedly smiled and turned to Wooyoung after replying her text with an Ok. ************************************************************************************************* Bekah sipped on her red wine while watching Jay indulging in his Sicilian Meatballs Spaghetti. They were dining at a small authentic Italian restaurant that Bekah discovered a while back with Gahee unnie. Since the place is not in the center of Seoul, less people come to this amazing restaurant. Bekah loves it here, the food is delicious, it’s private and their dim lighting is so romantic. Earlier today she came home from shooting Playgirlz School, took an extra long shower, put on her new body-hugging mini dress, hopped on her heels and drove to Jay’s apartment. She had been wondering the whole week why Jay behaved so weird on their previous dates. Bekah did realize they could have probably gone a little too cozy with each other the other night but if anything, she wouldn’t expect him to restrict himself and do otherwise. She enjoyed his kisses, his touches, and the way he looked at her. He made her feel beautiful and appreciated. That’s why when Jay never kissed her again ever since, Bekah was somewhat disappointed. She was really confused but didn’t want to ask her unnie for this kind of things so in the end she decided to seek advice from the most reliable and helpful individual, Google. Bekah went through many similar articles that basically informed that it was probably Jay’s little strategy game, ignoring her, just to make her curious. Well, I don’t mind games as long as I can play too, she devilishly smiled to herself. Another theory explaining Jay’s unusual behavior was pretty surprising for Bekah, it was a huge possibility but she just never thought or assumed that would be the case.. “Are you ok there?” Jay caught Bekah’s attention from across the table. “I’m fine…how’s your food?” she put down her tall wine glass and leaned forward. She knew the front of her dress had a low cut top which definitely show her healthy busts. Normally she doesn’t do these things but since she has planned to not be the only one suffering, Bekah thought it wouldn’t hurt flaunting what she’s got. Her inner devil rejoiced when her mission was successful. Jay had to pause for a while and cleared his throat and looked up, “Amazing.” “You’ve got something…..there.” she pointed at the corner of his mouth before moving towards him and wiped the tomato sauce off with her index finger. She sat back down and tossed her hair to the side. Instead of wiping the sauce on the napkin, she brought it to her mouth and licked it off. Jay stared at her in disbelief. What had she just done? Wiped something off my mouth. Oh good grief! “Mmm..that is good. I should have asked you to share me some before you finished your plate.” Bekah could see his eyes followed every turn and gesture she made. “So…..Chansung-sshi left huh? That was a bit shocking, his decision.” she started a conversation. Jay relaxed on his chair and drank his wine. “Yeah, that kid. He was a bit lost after his breakup with Nanzy. It was hard for the rest of us because Chansung’s got a strong will and none of us could really talk him out of it. We’re just hoping he comes back a better man.” “Oh I’m sure he will. Life experience makes someone stronger.” Bekah sent him an encouraging smile, she noticed under the soft light from the candles between them, Jay looked amazingly attractive. The long sleeved black shirt he was wearing accentuated his fit body and tonight he didn’t wear any cap. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, showing his almost-crafted looking veiny hands. Bekah cursed him for having this effect on her, albeit the circumstances. “And Nichkhun-sshi, he’s married to Victoria-unnie for that show, yes?” she continued talking before the butterfly in her stomach started to flap again. Jay nodded, he seemed much more comfortable now that they were talking about other people. “I’m a little jealous.” Bekah sighed. “You really like Khun?” he quickly responded. If Bekah wasn’t mistaken she almost could hear some jealousy in there. “Why not, he seems like a nice guy.” “Then why don’t you marry him?” “I can’t marry every nice guy I meet, Jay. Besides that’s not why I’m jealous for. It’s the amount of support they got.” “You mean…compared to us?” Bekah nodded before continuing “So far I’ve received 54 hate letters basically saying I don’t deserve you or I should never say yes to your question.” “54??? Jeez, woman. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could have done something about it!!!” Jay was furious hearing the news. He straightened his back and dragged his chair forward. “Nothing we can do, Jay. We’re public figures and have fans, I understand that, of course they will have reaction and we can’t expect them to be all positive. But no worries, I already trashed those letters.” “Good. Don’t read them, ok? Give them to me, we can destroy them together.” Bekah chuckled, she found it was kinda cute that Jay was angry about this. After splitting the bills, they left the restaurant. Jay insisted to drive but Bekah refused, saying he wouldn’t know where to go next. “Aren’t we going home?” “Nu-uh. I wanna show you something.” she smiled secretively while driving away from the parking lot. The night had fallen and the clock showed it was 9 o’clock. They drove even further away from the city, heading to a quieter residential area. Jay was trying to read the street signs but he had been lost since half an hour ago. The more Bekah drove, the less familiar of a scenery he saw. “Where are you taking me?” he asked suspiciously. “Would a rapist tell his victim where they go?” “YOU’RE GOING TO RAPE ME?” he turned to her in horror. “That was a hypothetical question, Jay…meaning…ah never mind. We’re here anyway.” she went into a driveway which led to a big house. “This is where we we shoot for our reality show, let’s go in and check it out.” Bekah chirpily got out of the car and dragged Jay inside. He followed her. “Wow, it’s beautiful. No one’s here?” he elongated his neck and looked around briefly. “No, they all left. I asked for the house key from my manager because I left my I-pod around here somewhere. The next shooting won’t be until this weekend so this house would be empty at least for the next 3 days.” Bekah left Jay on the living room and went inside one of the bedroom to find her I-pod. He wandered around the area and saw a big banana pillow on the round sofa in the middle of the room. Everything looked so girly, very appropriate for a girls’ house. He yawned and sat on the couch while stretching. He strained his shoulder this morning at the gym and he just started to feel the effect. Jay rubbed the stiff tendon and relaxed his shoulder. Suddenly he felt Bekah’s hand nuzzling his neck from behind. “Wh-what are you doing?” “Massaging you.” she whispered in his ears which made him tremble from head to toe. “That’s ok. I was just…”“Relax, Jay.” She grasped his shoulder. “You’re way too tense.” He wanted to reject her because it felt so good, almost too good, but for the same reason, he couldn’t. Instead, he let her rubbing his neck and back, sending a tingling sensation from her soft hand to every blood vessel running through his body. Jay closed his eyes and he started imagining her exploring her touch elsewhere. Then she would follow with her lips, her sweet wanting lips. And then I would persuasively bring her palm down to my- WAIT A MINUTE, WAKE UP YOU ASSHOLE! A tiny voice jolted him back to the reality, he opened his eyes and stood up in a flash. “What’s wrong?” Bekah looked at him, confused. “Uh…nothing. I just remembered how far we had to drive here so maybe we should go back.” “Jay, we don’t need to do this.” “Do what?” he scrunched his eyebrows. “This tug of war thing you’re doing and the wall you’ve built around you, Jay. I don’t understand why you treat me like I have an HIV or something.” “Why would you say so?” Jay was appalled. “Why would I say so? Oh, dear God. I feel it, ok? You’ve been keeping a distance ever since that night we kissed. You refused to kiss me again, even touch me. If you’re doing this to make me curious, well…you win. I am HELLA curious about you and why you’re doing this. So can we stop playing now?” her breathing has just suddenly gotten faster. Jay was astonished on how she wrongly she took his action for. He didn’t realize it was that extreme. He thought girls like someone who’s polite, well-mannered and treating them like flowers. Someone like Khun. He wouldn’t have thought his action made Bekah think he was avoiding her like a virus. “You’ve got it all wrong, babe. I wasn’t building walls. I was just…unsure and frightened.” he looked away, normally Jay doesn’t like admitting his weakness in front of girls but he had no other answer for her except the truth. She faced him like a soldier, he saw her eyes were so piercing but after he said his last word, they softened up almost like a sympathy. Bekah was relieved that Jay wasn’t toying her, she believed him. But then she also realized her other speculation might have been right. “Oh, Jay. That’s ok. I will teach you.” she stepped closer to Jay who was standing against the wall. “Teach me about what?” he saw Bekah coming at him with her sympathetic expression. Her eyes weren’t easy too read. “You know…sex.” “EXCUSE ME!?! Do you think I’m…” Jay paused. “A virgin.” she finished his sentence. Jay widened his eyes. Out of all weird things he could imagine her to think of him, a virgin would be the top of the list. He felt somewhat offended. “Woa woa woa, hold up, gurl. Lemme straighten this fact, a’ight? I am not a virgin and I’m pretty sure I don’t look like one. Hell, ok fine…maybe you can never tell other than from kisses- … GODDAMNIT, do I kiss like one?” he went all over the place, kept walking back and forth with so much angst. “Jay, stop.” she pulled his hand so he stopped marching. “How could you assume I’m….argh.” he scratched his head in frustration. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t believe that you are either but your action confused me. I didn’t know what to think. You act like you don’t even want me.” she looked frustrated with herself and the guy in front of her. Jay didn’t say anything else so Bekah sighed. She was too embarrassed by her judgment on Jay to look up to him or argue with him, so after a long awkward silence she said, “You were right, it’s late and I don’t even know why I brought you here. It must have been the wine..ahhh, stupid me.” she swifted to the side away from Jay’s body and started walking to the door. “Wait.” he pulled her hand. “No, Jay. I’m tired, I wanna go home.” she resisted him. “No, wait.” suddenly Jay reached out for her waist and pulled her in until the front of her body met his. Bekah gasped, his arms were wrapped behind her back and pushed her towards him until there was no space between them. Bekah looked up only to meet Jay’s fiery eyes. “You asked me why I didn’t touch you or kiss you after that night, well, here’s why. I can’t kiss you without wanting to tear all your clothes apart and make love to you. I don’t have the will power to control myself whenever our skin touch. Like right at this moment, you can feel that, can’t you?” he growled. Bekah blushed, she could definitely feel something hard against her dress. Her heartbeat started to go crazy again when she saw his eagle eye never left hers.  “Jay…” she gulped. The truth is, she couldn’t play this game either. She wanted him, more than she could ever want anybody else. His stupid jokes, his reckless attitude, only added to the charm Bekah saw in him since the very first time. “I want you, for fuck’s sake. Don’t ever question me on that one. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m crazy about you. You’re like a drug. And I don’t trust myself for that reason. So there you go. I hope that clear up our misunderstanding.” Bekah felt the grip behind her has been loosened and Jay’s body moved away. She braced herself, pulled his face back at her and kissed him. She noticed he tensed up but when she felt his arms were back on her cheek, she knew Jay had knocked down his barrier and finally given up. “Oh, screw this.” his kisses had gone from sweet and tender to demanding. She opened her mouth, invited his invasion. Their tongues met in a passionate battle and suddenly she felt like the ground below them had crumbled, it was mind blowing. Jay said she was like a drug to him, so if this is what he meant by that, then Bekah could definitely reciprocate. He plunged and plundered, deepening his kisses, he cupped the back of her head with one hand. The other hand had been busy exploring down to her curves, she felt his palm pressed against her belly and slowly moved up, across her breast and reached out for the strap of her gown. “You look amazing tonight, but we don’t need this hmm?” he smiled on her lips between his kisses, Bekah felt the top of her dress had fallen down and gathered above her waist, exposing the red laced bra she only wears for special occasion. It didn’t stay on for long either because he smoothly unhooked it while kissing her neck. Jay stepped back a little to admire what lied in front of him. There she was, half naked and alluring. He dreamed of this in one of those torturing restless night and now she came to life. The dark room only filled with the moonlight coming from the window gave an amazing silhouette to her curvacious body. Her full amazing breasts moved up and down due to her heavy breathing. He watched her, how she glared at him with those seductive eyes, how her ripened lips begged for his kisses, how she wanted him. “You are so beautiful.” a deep voice came out from Jay whose hair was now messy from her touch. Bekah pulled the front of his shirt closer to her, lifted it up above his head and tossed it aside. Her eyes were quickly fulfilled with his well defined set of torso that any guy could ever dream of. She wasted no time and started teasing him while her body throbbed with need. He touched her hair before caressing her breast. His lips were back tasting hers and a lighting flashes of sensation whizzed from her breasts to her femininity. When they were out of breath, Jay eased his mouth away from hers and painted a moist trail down her throat. She tossed her head back to give him the full access. His tongue roamed around, seeking out the sweetness of her breasts. When he licked her, she cried out as intense pleasure erupt inside her. “Oh Jay, Jay…” she moaned his name several times as she threaded her fingers through his hair, encouraging his tender assault. Her fingers reached down to remove his belt and unbutton his jeans. “You’re so hard.” she innocently gasped after finding a big bulge inside, making it hard to pull down the trousers. “Of course, silly. Just look at you.” he got up and helped her out by pulling down his jeans. His thin cotton boxer could not hide his excitement and it made Bekah blush to see how much he wanted her. She shyly touched him there but Jay’s hand stop her. “Not yet, sweetheart. It’s my turn.” He carefully remove Bekah’s dress and traced the S line on her back with his other free hand. When he squeezed her derrière, she bit her lips in excitement. He grinned to her and slid his finger inside the soaked satin panties. “Babe, you want me don’t you?” Jay released a naughty chuckle when he felt her feminine core clenching under his playful touch. Bekah nodded helplessly, her skin was sensitive to his touch and her eyes were gleaming with lust. Bekah tugged on his only fabric. She circled his erection, his deep husky groan pleased her ear. She could make out the silhouette of his body in semi-darkness, but she became greedy and needed more than that shadow glimpse. “If you keep doing that, I’m afraid I’m gonna take you on the floor right here.” he whispered his threat behind her ear before sucking the smooth skin on the side of her neck. He nibbled her ear and Bekah lost it. The scent of his masculinity overdosed her. “Jay, please make love to me.” “Heh, I thought you’d never ask.” he swiftly lifted her up and ran to the nearest bedroom with a big white bed. He slammed her down before removing his boxer and kicked it on the floor. Jay hovered above Bekah with one hand on her side, another one hand pulling down the only barricade between his manhood and her sacred crown. She arched her back and kissed his jawline, her hands were busy playing with his throbbing member. Jay groaned impatiently, he buried his face on her neck and his head started to move down. His tongue flicked her beaded nipples and then he trailed even lower. She let out a small giggle when Jay reached her belly button but quickly replaced with a soft moan when he parted her thighs. Without her permission he devoured her, nibbling, sucking, until she writhed on the bed in an agony of sensuality. This can’t be real, Bekah looked up to the ceiling but everything else spun around her. He lifted her hips, bringing her closer to his ravaging mouth. Then he changed his pace to a slower and apparently, more effective for Bekah. He soon had her weeping as her body coiled tighter and tighter. With one final sweep of his tongue, he snapped the cord and flung her into a release so intense that uncontrollable shudders racked her body. Before Bekah could recover from the intense climax, Jay rose up over her. She knew he wanted to have her already but Bekah decided to surprise him and pulled his body down. She sat on top of him and sent a sexy smirk before going down on him. “Bek…what are you doing? I won’t last long.” “Shhh…you talk too much.” she looked up before continuing her mission. “Oh God, that feels so good.” Jay laid back on the soft bed when he felt her tongue licking around like child enjoying a popsicle. His vision started to leave him and he knew if he didn’t stop her, he might hit the jackpot way too soon. “Ok, babe. That’s enough, come here you little minx.” he pulled her up and switched places. He cupped her hips, lifted them to meet his thrust and forced in deeply and completely. She yelped and they started moving rhythmically.  “Jay you’re so big.” she murmured, her lustful eyes widened. “And you’re so warm, love.” he chuckled, grind down and licked her lips. They twisted and turned on the bed, exchanging positions of dominance while their bodies joined in a sensual frenzy. He sped up and caused her another moan. Jay knew she was on the verge of another climax when her body tightened. He accelerated the pace, taking her harder and faster. Bekah moved her hips faster and it drove him wild. “Jay…I’m close.” she reached out for him and moaned in his ears. The noise she made sent an amazing sensation both to his brain and his manhood and suddenly Jay knew he couldn’t hold any longer. When she spun out of control, his release also hit him hard and full-force. The power of their simultaneous orgasm shattered them into million shards of pleasure. They laid on each other’s arm as the aftershocks rippled through their sweaty bodies. Bekah’s chest were still moving up and down but her face were flushed from the back to back climax Jay gave her. He laid next to her, still inhaling the intoxicating scent of their love making, sweat and her sweet vanilla. I must have been lost and died in a sexual haze and resurrected. I don’t mind either way. Bekah finally turned her body towards him, “Yeah, you’re no virgin.” Jay laughed and kissed her forehead, “Oh, so I needed to prove that to you, is that so?” Bekah laughed back at him when Jay continued, “I shouldn’t have waited nor made you wait, babe. That was amazing.” “That was alright.” she rolled around. “Are you kidding me, you came twice, woman! It was more than alright.” his eyes shot at her in disbelief, his smile was proud. Bekah got up and pulled away from him but he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to bed and positioned her on top of him. Bekah giggled and punched his shoulder jokingly before he sealed her lips with another long wet kiss that rocked her world once again. She had a feeling both her and Jay would have some really hard time getting out of the bed once they were trapped in. As if he read her mind, Jay followed, “Oh babe, don’t run off so soon. The night has just begun.”

CHAPTER 39 - Takes Two to Tango

“I can’t believe Chansung is gone.” Junho curled up on the sofa the night Chansung left for his Army training in Nonsan. Taecyeon and Khun, who sat down on the floor below Junho, were too busy with their Playstation game to give any response.

“Yahhh…don’t be sad. I think he needs it. Maybe he’s better off to be away from all of these so that he can find himself back.” Junsu’s voice appeared from his bedroom door along with a weird looking short he was wearing. From the get-up it seemed like he was about to take a shower.

“Easy for him to say that, he’s got his own music project going on. Jay-hyung has a girlfriend. Wooyoung and Taecyeon-hyung are always busy. And you, Hyung, you’re doing We Got Married show now. What am I supposed to do?” Junho sighed.

“Didn’t Nanzy-nuna ask all of us once, what would we do if we weren’t in 2PM? What was your answer?” Taec asked with his eyes still on TV screen.

“Ummm…going back to school.”

“See, that’s something. Why don’t you do that? Oh, and just to clear things up, Jaebum hyung doesn’t have a girlfriend…….yet.” Khun grinned.

“Chincha? What happened?” Junho swifted his ass and his entire body towards Jay who sat in the corner. He was so quiet everyone forgot he’d been there the entire time.

“I guess, she didn’t make it clear that we’re really going out. She agreed to go on a date with me tho….which was kinda cool.”

“Wow..that’s new. Unique. Did she give any sign to you or anything indicated her interest in you?” Wooyoung looked at Jay suspiciously.

“What are you, a love shrink?” Jay barked at the younger man who carelessly shrugged but demanded a real answer. “Hmm…lemme think….”, Jay concentrated but immediately the image of Bekah looking defenseless in his arm popped out again in his mind. Since that night, Jay couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her eyes, her hair, how her lips bloomed for him, the scent of sweet vanilla on her neck. She was so sweet, almost as sweet as the pancake they once made together in The Foundry.

Just imagining her made him get too excited again so Jay suavely crossed his legs to prevent any humiliation.

Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea.

Jay and Bekah met twice after that fun night but they didn’t make any progress, in fact they were going backwards. The reason being was because Jay told himself not to rush things. He recently saw how Khun treated Victoria, his new wife like a princess and he couldn’t help but think if he’d been doing it all wrong. He was worried Bekah only saw him as a ruthless horny kid who finds his way to get into her pants. He wanted to show that he is much more than that. Before they went on their first breakfast date, he kept reminding his idiot mind to slow things down. He did behave like a total gentleman, opened the door for her, dragged her chair, not making any sexual comment, but he clearly showed his affection to minimum level.

Jay could see a big question mark in Bekah’s eyes when they stood in front of her door. He knew she was expecting him to kiss her. But instead he said, “That was awesome. We should do it again some time.” before hugging her shoulder and left.

What the fuck, that’s what I said to my uncle who took me fishing, Jay thought right away. He couldn’t sleep well that night, beating himself up mentally for such a pathetic good bye statement.

Their second date wasn’t any better, they went to a movie and at one point, Bekah playfully asked him if he could feed her popcorn. He did what she asked without any preparation when Bekah purposely touch his salty finger with the tip of her tongue. She smiled at him innocently but Jay’s mind was full of naughty things he imagined her to do to him with that tongue. He tensed up and ignored her for the rest of the movie. When Bekah closed her eyes while standing in front of her dorm that night, he couldn’t run away, so Jay did all he could and kissed her forehead.

No wonder she hasn’t called me ever since, I’m so lame. Jay pouted.

“Hyung?” Wooyoung asked once again. Before Jay could answer him, his phone buzzed so he checked his new incoming message. It was from Bekah.

Dinner tomorrow? I’ll pick you up around 7.

“Yeah…she likes me, Woo.” Jay pleasedly smiled and turned to Wooyoung after replying her text with an Ok.

********************************************************************************
*****************

Bekah sipped on her red wine while watching Jay indulging in his Sicilian Meatballs Spaghetti. They were dining at a small authentic Italian restaurant that Bekah discovered a while back with Gahee unnie. Since the place is not in the center of Seoul, less people come to this amazing restaurant. Bekah loves it here, the food is delicious, it’s private and their dim lighting is so romantic.

Earlier today she came home from shooting Playgirlz School, took an extra long shower, put on her new body-hugging mini dress, hopped on her heels and drove to Jay’s apartment. She had been wondering the whole week why Jay behaved so weird on their previous dates. Bekah did realize they could have probably gone a little too cozy with each other the other night but if anything, she wouldn’t expect him to restrict himself and do otherwise.

She enjoyed his kisses, his touches, and the way he looked at her. He made her feel beautiful and appreciated. That’s why when Jay never kissed her again ever since, Bekah was somewhat disappointed. She was really confused but didn’t want to ask her unnie for this kind of things so in the end she decided to seek advice from the most reliable and helpful individual, Google.

Bekah went through many similar articles that basically informed that it was probably Jay’s little strategy game, ignoring her, just to make her curious. Well, I don’t mind games as long as I can play too, she devilishly smiled to herself. Another theory explaining Jay’s unusual behavior was pretty surprising for Bekah, it was a huge possibility but she just never thought or assumed that would be the case..

“Are you ok there?” Jay caught Bekah’s attention from across the table.

“I’m fine…how’s your food?” she put down her tall wine glass and leaned forward. She knew the front of her dress had a low cut top which definitely show her healthy busts. Normally she doesn’t do these things but since she has planned to not be the only one suffering, Bekah thought it wouldn’t hurt flaunting what she’s got. Her inner devil rejoiced when her mission was successful. Jay had to pause for a while and cleared his throat and looked up,

“Amazing.”

“You’ve got something…..there.” she pointed at the corner of his mouth before moving towards him and wiped the tomato sauce off with her index finger. She sat back down and tossed her hair to the side. Instead of wiping the sauce on the napkin, she brought it to her mouth and licked it off.

Jay stared at her in disbelief. What had she just done? Wiped something off my mouth. Oh good grief!

“Mmm..that is good. I should have asked you to share me some before you finished your plate.” Bekah could see his eyes followed every turn and gesture she made. “So…..Chansung-sshi left huh? That was a bit shocking, his decision.” she started a conversation. Jay relaxed on his chair and drank his wine.

“Yeah, that kid. He was a bit lost after his breakup with Nanzy. It was hard for the rest of us because Chansung’s got a strong will and none of us could really talk him out of it. We’re just hoping he comes back a better man.”

“Oh I’m sure he will. Life experience makes someone stronger.” Bekah sent him an encouraging smile, she noticed under the soft light from the candles between them, Jay looked amazingly attractive. The long sleeved black shirt he was wearing accentuated his fit body and tonight he didn’t wear any cap. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, showing his almost-crafted looking veiny hands. Bekah cursed him for having this effect on her, albeit the circumstances.

“And Nichkhun-sshi, he’s married to Victoria-unnie for that show, yes?” she continued talking before the butterfly in her stomach started to flap again.

Jay nodded, he seemed much more comfortable now that they were talking about other people.

“I’m a little jealous.” Bekah sighed.

“You really like Khun?” he quickly responded. If Bekah wasn’t mistaken she almost could hear some jealousy in there.

“Why not, he seems like a nice guy.”

“Then why don’t you marry him?”

“I can’t marry every nice guy I meet, Jay. Besides that’s not why I’m jealous for. It’s the amount of support they got.”

“You mean…compared to us?”

Bekah nodded before continuing “So far I’ve received 54 hate letters basically saying I don’t deserve you or I should never say yes to your question.”

“54??? Jeez, woman. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could have done something about it!!!” Jay was furious hearing the news. He straightened his back and dragged his chair forward.

“Nothing we can do, Jay. We’re public figures and have fans, I understand that, of course they will have reaction and we can’t expect them to be all positive. But no worries, I already trashed those letters.”

“Good. Don’t read them, ok? Give them to me, we can destroy them together.”

Bekah chuckled, she found it was kinda cute that Jay was angry about this. After splitting the bills, they left the restaurant. Jay insisted to drive but Bekah refused, saying he wouldn’t know where to go next.

“Aren’t we going home?”

“Nu-uh. I wanna show you something.” she smiled secretively while driving away from the parking lot. The night had fallen and the clock showed it was 9 o’clock. They drove even further away from the city, heading to a quieter residential area.

Jay was trying to read the street signs but he had been lost since half an hour ago. The more Bekah drove, the less familiar of a scenery he saw.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked suspiciously.

“Would a rapist tell his victim where they go?”

“YOU’RE GOING TO RAPE ME?” he turned to her in horror.

“That was a hypothetical question, Jay…meaning…ah never mind. We’re here anyway.” she went into a driveway which led to a big house. “This is where we we shoot for our reality show, let’s go in and check it out.” Bekah chirpily got out of the car and dragged Jay inside. He followed her.

“Wow, it’s beautiful. No one’s here?” he elongated his neck and looked around briefly.

“No, they all left. I asked for the house key from my manager because I left my I-pod around here somewhere. The next shooting won’t be until this weekend so this house would be empty at least for the next 3 days.”

Bekah left Jay on the living room and went inside one of the bedroom to find her I-pod. He wandered around the area and saw a big banana pillow on the round sofa in the middle of the room. Everything looked so girly, very appropriate for a girls’ house. He yawned and sat on the couch while stretching. He strained his shoulder this morning at the gym and he just started to feel the effect. Jay rubbed the stiff tendon and relaxed his shoulder. Suddenly he felt Bekah’s hand nuzzling his neck from behind.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Massaging you.” she whispered in his ears which made him tremble from head to toe.

“That’s ok. I was just…”

“Relax, Jay.” She grasped his shoulder. “You’re way too tense.”

He wanted to reject her because it felt so good, almost too good, but for the same reason, he couldn’t. Instead, he let her rubbing his neck and back, sending a tingling sensation from her soft hand to every blood vessel running through his body. Jay closed his eyes and he started imagining her exploring her touch elsewhere. Then she would follow with her lips, her sweet wanting lips. And then I would persuasively bring her palm down to my- WAIT A MINUTE, WAKE UP YOU ASSHOLE! A tiny voice jolted him back to the reality, he opened his eyes and stood up in a flash.

“What’s wrong?” Bekah looked at him, confused.

“Uh…nothing. I just remembered how far we had to drive here so maybe we should go back.”

“Jay, we don’t need to do this.”

“Do what?” he scrunched his eyebrows.

“This tug of war thing you’re doing and the wall you’ve built around you, Jay. I don’t understand why you treat me like I have an HIV or something.”

“Why would you say so?” Jay was appalled.

“Why would I say so? Oh, dear God. I feel it, ok? You’ve been keeping a distance ever since that night we kissed. You refused to kiss me again, even touch me. If you’re doing this to make me curious, well…you win. I am HELLA curious about you and why you’re doing this. So can we stop playing now?” her breathing has just suddenly gotten faster.

Jay was astonished on how she wrongly she took his action for. He didn’t realize it was that extreme. He thought girls like someone who’s polite, well-mannered and treating them like flowers. Someone like Khun. He wouldn’t have thought his action made Bekah think he was avoiding her like a virus.

“You’ve got it all wrong, babe. I wasn’t building walls. I was just…unsure and frightened.” he looked away, normally Jay doesn’t like admitting his weakness in front of girls but he had no other answer for her except the truth.

She faced him like a soldier, he saw her eyes were so piercing but after he said his last word, they softened up almost like a sympathy. Bekah was relieved that Jay wasn’t toying her, she believed him. But then she also realized her other speculation might have been right.

“Oh, Jay. That’s ok. I will teach you.” she stepped closer to Jay who was standing against the wall.

“Teach me about what?” he saw Bekah coming at him with her sympathetic expression. Her eyes weren’t easy too read.

“You know…sex.”

“EXCUSE ME!?! Do you think I’m…” Jay paused.

“A virgin.” she finished his sentence.

Jay widened his eyes. Out of all weird things he could imagine her to think of him, a virgin would be the top of the list. He felt somewhat offended.

“Woa woa woa, hold up, gurl. Lemme straighten this fact, a’ight? I am not a virgin and I’m pretty sure I don’t look like one. Hell, ok fine…maybe you can never tell other than from kisses- … GODDAMNIT, do I kiss like one?” he went all over the place, kept walking back and forth with so much angst.

“Jay, stop.” she pulled his hand so he stopped marching.

“How could you assume I’m….argh.” he scratched his head in frustration.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t believe that you are either but your action confused me. I didn’t know what to think. You act like you don’t even want me.” she looked frustrated with herself and the guy in front of her. Jay didn’t say anything else so Bekah sighed. She was too embarrassed by her judgment on Jay to look up to him or argue with him, so after a long awkward silence she said,

“You were right, it’s late and I don’t even know why I brought you here. It must have been the wine..ahhh, stupid me.” she swifted to the side away from Jay’s body and started walking to the door.

“Wait.” he pulled her hand.

“No, Jay. I’m tired, I wanna go home.” she resisted him.

“No, wait.” suddenly Jay reached out for her waist and pulled her in until the front of her body met his. Bekah gasped, his arms were wrapped behind her back and pushed her towards him until there was no space between them. Bekah looked up only to meet Jay’s fiery eyes.

“You asked me why I didn’t touch you or kiss you after that night, well, here’s why. I can’t kiss you without wanting to tear all your clothes apart and make love to you. I don’t have the will power to control myself whenever our skin touch. Like right at this moment, you can feel that, can’t you?” he growled.

Bekah blushed, she could definitely feel something hard against her dress. Her heartbeat started to go crazy again when she saw his eagle eye never left hers. 

“Jay…” she gulped. The truth is, she couldn’t play this game either. She wanted him, more than she could ever want anybody else. His stupid jokes, his reckless attitude, only added to the charm Bekah saw in him since the very first time.

“I want you, for fuck’s sake. Don’t ever question me on that one. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m crazy about you. You’re like a drug. And I don’t trust myself for that reason. So there you go. I hope that clear up our misunderstanding.”

Bekah felt the grip behind her has been loosened and Jay’s body moved away. She braced herself, pulled his face back at her and kissed him. She noticed he tensed up but when she felt his arms were back on her cheek, she knew Jay had knocked down his barrier and finally given up.

“Oh, screw this.” his kisses had gone from sweet and tender to demanding. She opened her mouth, invited his invasion. Their tongues met in a passionate battle and suddenly she felt like the ground below them had crumbled, it was mind blowing. Jay said she was like a drug to him, so if this is what he meant by that, then Bekah could definitely reciprocate. He plunged and plundered, deepening his kisses, he cupped the back of her head with one hand. The other hand had been busy exploring down to her curves, she felt his palm pressed against her belly and slowly moved up, across her breast and reached out for the strap of her gown.

“You look amazing tonight, but we don’t need this hmm?” he smiled on her lips between his kisses, Bekah felt the top of her dress had fallen down and gathered above her waist, exposing the red laced bra she only wears for special occasion. It didn’t stay on for long either because he smoothly unhooked it while kissing her neck.

Jay stepped back a little to admire what lied in front of him. There she was, half naked and alluring. He dreamed of this in one of those torturing restless night and now she came to life. The dark room only filled with the moonlight coming from the window gave an amazing silhouette to her curvacious body. Her full amazing breasts moved up and down due to her heavy breathing. He watched her, how she glared at him with those seductive eyes, how her ripened lips begged for his kisses, how she wanted him.

“You are so beautiful.” a deep voice came out from Jay whose hair was now messy from her touch. Bekah pulled the front of his shirt closer to her, lifted it up above his head and tossed it aside. Her eyes were quickly fulfilled with his well defined set of torso that any guy could ever dream of. She wasted no time and started teasing him while her body throbbed with need. He touched her hair before caressing her breast. His lips were back tasting hers and a lighting flashes of sensation whizzed from her breasts to her femininity.

When they were out of breath, Jay eased his mouth away from hers and painted a moist trail down her throat. She tossed her head back to give him the full access. His tongue roamed around, seeking out the sweetness of her breasts. When he licked her, she cried out as intense pleasure erupt inside her.

“Oh Jay, Jay…” she moaned his name several times as she threaded her fingers through his hair, encouraging his tender assault. Her fingers reached down to remove his belt and unbutton his jeans.

“You’re so hard.” she innocently gasped after finding a big bulge inside, making it hard to pull down the trousers.

“Of course, silly. Just look at you.” he got up and helped her out by pulling down his jeans. His thin cotton boxer could not hide his excitement and it made Bekah blush to see how much he wanted her. She shyly touched him there but Jay’s hand stop her.

“Not yet, sweetheart. It’s my turn.”

He carefully remove Bekah’s dress and traced the S line on her back with his other free hand. When he squeezed her derrière, she bit her lips in excitement. He grinned to her and slid his finger inside the soaked satin panties.

“Babe, you want me don’t you?” Jay released a naughty chuckle when he felt her feminine core clenching under his playful touch. Bekah nodded helplessly, her skin was sensitive to his touch and her eyes were gleaming with lust. Bekah tugged on his only fabric. She circled his erection, his deep husky groan pleased her ear. She could make out the silhouette of his body in semi-darkness, but she became greedy and needed more than that shadow glimpse.

“If you keep doing that, I’m afraid I’m gonna take you on the floor right here.” he whispered his threat behind her ear before sucking the smooth skin on the side of her neck. He nibbled her ear and Bekah lost it. The scent of his masculinity overdosed her.

“Jay, please make love to me.”

“Heh, I thought you’d never ask.” he swiftly lifted her up and ran to the nearest bedroom with a big white bed. He slammed her down before removing his boxer and kicked it on the floor. Jay hovered above Bekah with one hand on her side, another one hand pulling down the only barricade between his manhood and her sacred crown.

She arched her back and kissed his jawline, her hands were busy playing with his throbbing member. Jay groaned impatiently, he buried his face on her neck and his head started to move down. His tongue flicked her beaded nipples and then he trailed even lower. She let out a small giggle when Jay reached her belly button but quickly replaced with a soft moan when he parted her thighs. Without her permission he devoured her, nibbling, sucking, until she writhed on the bed in an agony of sensuality.

This can’t be real, Bekah looked up to the ceiling but everything else spun around her.

He lifted her hips, bringing her closer to his ravaging mouth. Then he changed his pace to a slower and apparently, more effective for Bekah. He soon had her weeping as her body coiled tighter and tighter. With one final sweep of his tongue, he snapped the cord and flung her into a release so intense that uncontrollable shudders racked her body.

Before Bekah could recover from the intense climax, Jay rose up over her. She knew he wanted to have her already but Bekah decided to surprise him and pulled his body down. She sat on top of him and sent a sexy smirk before going down on him.

“Bek…what are you doing? I won’t last long.”

“Shhh…you talk too much.” she looked up before continuing her mission.

“Oh God, that feels so good.” Jay laid back on the soft bed when he felt her tongue licking around like child enjoying a popsicle. His vision started to leave him and he knew if he didn’t stop her, he might hit the jackpot way too soon.

“Ok, babe. That’s enough, come here you little minx.” he pulled her up and switched places. He cupped her hips, lifted them to meet his thrust and forced in deeply and completely. She yelped and they started moving rhythmically. 

“Jay you’re so big.” she murmured, her lustful eyes widened.

“And you’re so warm, love.” he chuckled, grind down and licked her lips. They twisted and turned on the bed, exchanging positions of dominance while their bodies joined in a sensual frenzy. He sped up and caused her another moan. Jay knew she was on the verge of another climax when her body tightened. He accelerated the pace, taking her harder and faster. Bekah moved her hips faster and it drove him wild.

“Jay…I’m close.” she reached out for him and moaned in his ears. The noise she made sent an amazing sensation both to his brain and his manhood and suddenly Jay knew he couldn’t hold any longer.

When she spun out of control, his release also hit him hard and full-force. The power of their simultaneous orgasm shattered them into million shards of pleasure. They laid on each other’s arm as the aftershocks rippled through their sweaty bodies. Bekah’s chest were still moving up and down but her face were flushed from the back to back climax Jay gave her.

He laid next to her, still inhaling the intoxicating scent of their love making, sweat and her sweet vanilla. I must have been lost and died in a sexual haze and resurrected. I don’t mind either way.

Bekah finally turned her body towards him, “Yeah, you’re no virgin.”

Jay laughed and kissed her forehead, “Oh, so I needed to prove that to you, is that so?” Bekah laughed back at him when Jay continued, “I shouldn’t have waited nor made you wait, babe. That was amazing.”

“That was alright.” she rolled around.

“Are you kidding me, you came twice, woman! It was more than alright.” his eyes shot at her in disbelief, his smile was proud. Bekah got up and pulled away from him but he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to bed and positioned her on top of him. Bekah giggled and punched his shoulder jokingly before he sealed her lips with another long wet kiss that rocked her world once again. She had a feeling both her and Jay would have some really hard time getting out of the bed once they were trapped in. As if he read her mind, Jay followed,

“Oh babe, don’t run off so soon. The night has just begun.”